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BREAKING NEWS — ROCKEFELLER CENTER EVACUATED; CHRISTMAS TREE BURNS DOWN
New York (AP) — Reports are flooding in from New York residents in Midtown. A terrible disruption runed the 32nd annual Rockefeller Center Christmas tree lighting, a beloved holiday tradition for young and old.
Somehow the tree caught flame and almost instantly started to burn at an unnatural pace. Unconfirmed reports suggest the flames were blue or a greyish shade. The BUGLE has not been able to determine whether this is true.
The tree crashed onto the ice rink and was consumed within minutes.
CAPTAIN AMERICA came to the rescue of SANTA and other parties attacked when the tree caught fire. Some kind of ruckus broke out and our star-spangled hero has been seen fighting heroes of Christmas.
Let that be an example to the neighbourhood menace in Manhattan, SPIDER-MAN, how a real world hero helps out!
NEW TREE FOR ROCKEFELLER Sat Dec 2 A Reporter (Rogue)
New York (AP) — The New York Police Department and Mayor's office are fielding questions from state and national authorities about an attack during the Rockefeller Christmas tree lighting that left almost a thousand participants drugged and twenty-nine injured.
Authorities are refusing to tell the public who endangered them at a critical time, and failed to provide any motives. This editorial board questions the value of a decision giving no security to families or comfort to the viewers on NBC who watched helplessly as a beloved icon of America burned to a crisp.
Col. Miles Spadina, NYPD, announced the sudden relocation of a second tree on site was "well-intentioned, but tampered with an active crime scene. We ask whichever hero did this, no more assistance is needed until we figure out what's going on."
It's very well and good to have new trees and greenery to replace the old. Already teams are trying to clean up Rockefeller Center's skating rink for reuse, and expect it to be functional within days. What New York cannot abide is another unsanctioned attack by aliens using dangerous, unseen technology.