1954-08-08 - To Be Or Not To Be
Summary: A flashback to the last time Black Bolt and Medusa saw each other.
Related: Inhumans Logs
Theme Song: None
blackagar medusa 


Ten years ago. Nine years ago. Nine years ago, Medusa was seventeen, and a year prior to that, Maximus had driven the Amelquin clan as well as his brother out of Attilan. The banished Inhumans have been moving through Europe and Asia, and presently they've taken up residence in a villa in Portugal. As darkening as the thought of their situation is, the summer sun off the ocean from the terrace is something to enjoy, and so Medusa does, her hair gently wafting back and forth in the sea breeze.

*

Just the sight of them brought pain anymore. Blackagar could barely stand to look at the rest of the people; foolish enough to say his people, but that was not in his heart. They weren't his. They were his father's certainly but not his. Sentenced to life here in this desolate world away from their precious Attilan, and because of him. Every glance, every moment by the other Inhumans was another reminder to Blackagar of what could not be undone. Of the loss he felt, both personal and for these people. The heavy guilt he had carried had weighed on him with growing pressure over the past year and was reaching a point of breaking. He was breaking and there was only one solution.

There were few belongings he had, really a change of clothes, and that was what he had placed into the knapsack slung over his shoulder, carried there as he was walking out of the villa towards the beach.

*

It only takes a moment for Medusa to zero in on the retreating figure. Her breath catches, and without a moment's hesitation, she sends her hair out to latch onto a nearby tree, and uses it to swing herself onto the ground. Another lock of hair serves to absorb her landing and she picks up a jog as she heads out onto the sand. "Blackagar!" Coming to a stop alongside him, she gives him a puzzled smile. "Where are you going?"

*

He doesn't respond. Well, ok, it's not that he doesn't respond, he just doesn't speak. His expression communicates much both in body posture and facial disposition. «I cannot stay here.» Blackagar glances towards the villa then back to Medusa. «I cannot be here with you all.»

*

"What do you mean?" Medusa's brows furrow, her tone still confused. "Who else would you stay with? We need to all be together." She has no problem understanding exactly what he's conveying, but then she always has, through years of shared company." Her smile is fading. "We need you. You're our king."

*

«Stop calling me that!» There is a snap to his look, if he were speaking the tone would have levelled… well who knows what. The fear in himself of what he did, the one time… just that once. «I am not your king, I am not their king. That was my father. I am none of those things, I am not the man he was, so stop trying to make me him.» There's frustration, exasperation to him. He looks over across the sky to the ocean then back to Medusa. «I will go where no one will ever need to worry about me, and where no one will ask me to be what I am not.»

*

She flinches, as surely as if he had shouted at her. "I've never tried to make you into him. The man you are meant to be is not your father. I am only trying to help you see the man you will become." Distressed, "If you leave, you'll take our hope with you. You know that, don't you?" Her lips purse. "The trick about worrying is that you can't keep others from it. Everyone will worry." Earnestly, "I will worry."

*

«And I do not deserve your worry, I do not deserve your hope.» It is singular, meaning /her/ not the collective. «They should never have let me out of that room. It was better, for all of us, had I been left in that room and you know it.» He points towards the north then, «I can go there, to the ice and not be a threat to anyone. To simply exist.»

*

"You did what you had to do. Do you truly think your parents would not understand? That you sought to keep us from being enslaved by the Kree once more?" And then, because she's a teenage girl, she adds fitfully, "What would you have me do? Go back to Attilan and consent to be your brother's bride? Is that what you want for me?"

*

«I want you, all of you, to seek out your own paths in this world. To…» He trails off then in thought, looking sad, «To forget about what was and instead make your own destiny.» A somber, sad smile touches his lips. «I am sorry I cannot be what you all want me to be.»

*

She inhales sharply, chin lifting. "I stayed with you. For years. I'm the only person we both know who knows exactly what you're saying, when you say it. You're meant to be our king, I'm meant to be your queen, and the only thing you want to do is walk away from it all." She takes a step back, expression full of feeling betrayed.

*

«Destroy your father. Let your actions result in the fall of your home and your closest friends being cast into exile. Why would you ever follow or stay with me? Why?» The look is frustrated and exasperated.

*

"Your father," she insists, "Would not have flinched at you doing what you need. Not at all. What would have happened if you had not done what you did? We'd all be slaves to the Kree now!" Her brows furrow. "What do you think. Why would I follow or stay with you? But I won't follow in this. If you do this, you're on your own. If you abandon your people - if you abandon me…" Her chin lifts. "I'll do it myself, because you wouldn't."

*

Blackagar pauses and sighs, shaking his head at Medusa. «You can hate me, Medusa, for what I must do. I understand why you hurt. But this is for the best. Not just for me, but for you as well. You deserve better. You deserve … someone better.» He pauses then looks towards the Villa, «You all do.»

*

"It would make you feel better, wouldn't it? You can abandon us all and use the justification that we hate you to make yourself feel better." Her hair is writing all around her, in psychokinetic response to her anger. "The truth is, you don't care about any of us. Because if you did, you'd be planning how to retake Attilan." Her eyes dart down to the sound. "If you cared about me, you wouldn't leave."

*

«While I am with you, there will never be peace or rest for you. While I am here, there will only be death and destruction that follows. Why do you not understand this Medusa?» Turning, he faces the ocean motioning then back to her, «If I sigh, a tidal wave would destroy a city. If I breathe too heavy you would be destroyed in front of me. It is not about my feelings, it is not about what I want. It is about what must be done. I cannot control this.» He points to his throat.

*

"You can! I know you can! Otherwise they would never have let you out of that horrible room!" Medusa's hair has begun flare wildly now, the tips of it just barely lashing against Black Bolt's shoulders. "You have the discipline you need to keep control of yourself. We need you." She bites her lip. "I need you." She steps closer, he hair now curling around them both. "Stay." she says, in a last ditch effort, looking up at him wistfully. "Stay. We don't have to wait. If you stay, we could be together. Don't you want to be with me?"

*

His hand reaches up, brushes against her cheek softly. «Yes. I do. But not like this. Not … You deserve someone who is right. Who is whole. I am not.» His eyes say it all really. «I hope someday you'll understand, someday you'll be able to forgive me. But I cannot carry this burden. I am so sorry.»

*

"You are right. You are whole. This is just an excuse." She steps away, her hair whisping softly as it returns to settle around her like a halo. "I won't forgive you. You're abandoning us." She adds ruthlessly, "The only thing you are is a coward!"

*

Blackagar nods slowly then, «If that is how you see me, then that is what I am; your highness.» Turning, he starts to walk towards the beach. Sack slung over his shoulder.

*

"Your Majesty." She calls after him icily. "Because I will do what you will not because you are too afraid." She too turns away now, because she doesn't want him to see her cry.

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