1963-06-18 - Damned
Summary: Jean and Bobby visit her families home to gather a few things to move into the institute.
Related: [http://marvel1963mush.wikidot.com/log:1963-06-11-date-night]
Theme Song: None
bobby jean 


Any attempts to have a nice night out was thwarted by the beckoning call of sleep and Jean's inability to reach anyone at home. Once she did reach someone, finally, a key was left underneath the rock to the right side of the retaining wall made of the same rock yet shaved into decorative like brick near the rows of daisies. She would have made it home sooner; but by now, the Grey's expect Jean to come and go whenever she pleases now that she was getting help from the Professor, and no one really expected to see her home until she was right as rain. And if they did? It would be a lovely dinner, catching up, laughs and hugs and baby pictures shown by the fire.

Which was not going to happen today.

There was an option to take the larger vehicle that Bobby spoke about, with him at the helm, her in the passengers seat with a nervous little glance, keeping watch outside at the small protest crowds that gather and some that hang on stoops with their lettermens jackets and smoking cigarettes because it was the cool thing. But the directions were given and the driveway pulled into, the entire ride was nothing but small talk, the distraction soon felled as soon as the rock was retrieved, key to the door, and once there inside there was a sigh of relief. And then.. the talk.

"At least it's clean in here." Jean starts, making her way up the stairs. "Everyone is gone, well.. a few of them are married, there's only two left. But they have busy lives, we should be in and out quick. Plus, my mother said that it was alright if I could borrow her nightgown." In other words, take what you need, return it in pristine condition or there will be a motherly scolding.

*

Bobby was happy to take Jean home to get her stuff. It's not the first time he's done something similar though in most cases, the homecoming would be a lot less happy making an escort more of a need than just a helping hand. The one who don't need it are the lucky few. "No rush." he assures Jean, following her up the stairs. "You don't need to borrow anything though. If you don't have something, the Prof gives us money to buy what we need. We can stop somewhere on the way back and you can run in to get one." Cause he's not going to go shop for a nightgown, not even with a girl there to do the actual shopping.

*

"Well, I suppose I don't need her nightgown.." Jean murmurs thoughtfully, stopping at her parents room to listen into the door, knocking first, then slowly opening the door to peek, and finally entering. "I mean, I have a bunch but hers are just so pretty." She shrugs her shoulders and immediately goes to the closet, pulling the double doors open to take a gander at whats inside. "You know, now that I have you here, and it's just us two.. I wanted to ask you something personal. And, stop me if I'm being too forward?"

*

Bobby just stops in the doorway and leans against the frame as Jean goes in to loot her Mom's closet. "Hmm? Oh sure, go ahead. What is it?" he asks, expecting to be asked out or something and wondering if he should say yes or how to say no and not hurt her feelings. Really, while he's used to telepaths, the Prof has really good shields so thinking quietly isn't relly a habit.

*

"Well.. I was wondering.." She murmurs quietly as she pulls aside a few of the clothings that were hung there, drawing one out to hold to her and look down. Her mother was a smidge taller than her, but this dress wasn't all that flattering. She turns to show Bobby, her face slightly wrinkled, gauging his reaction. She didn't like it obviously, so either way she'd put it back. Once she has her answer, she'd continue.

".. I mean, do you like me at all? We got off to a weird start. And things were bad for a while but they're finally looking up. So.. I mean.. do you like me? As a friend of course. Or like.. other girls like me.."

*

Bobby looks puzzled before he realizes Jean wants his opinion on the dress. A shrugs is his answer on that topic. "Sure, I like you. Why not? It's not your fault you don't have good control of your powers yet. But you're working on it." And then he grins. "I don't think there are other girls like you."

*

The dress was immediately tabled, stuck way in the back, silently admonishing her mother for her awkward tastes. She continues to shift through, drawing out a rather dashing suit of her dads to show Bobby because.. well, she's always liked it. Nice black jacket with the pants attached. Fancy cufflinks still attached and a tie around the neck, loosely hung. Her nose wrinkles happily, then she puts it back.

"Oh gosh no. I mean.." She pulls out a few more dresses, then moves towards the bed to drop them atop of them. "Girls. Like. Girls girls. Not like me. Though I'm a girl. But girls like me. But.. -not- like me." Awkward..

*

Bobby nods his approval of the suit though given he doesn't own one and doesn't really want one, he doesn't have any basis to judge it by. "Girls like you but not like you?" he asks puzzled. "…Humans? Umm, sure? I don't think less of them because they're not mutants."

*

Jean was getting mildly flustered. Thankfully her back was turned as she focused on the dresses. To break in the conversation, she points out.. "Red. White. Black. Or Green." She motions him closer, indicating that it was okay for him to actually step foot inside.

"But no! Not.. like that. Like okay. I'm just going to say it. When .. okay." She breathes. "You.. I.. I felt you. Not like.. felt felt touch you. But.. it.. you.. that day. I mean.. and it was twice. Two times. Clear as day. Like.. you know how most people are destined to like one thing and not the other and some people like the other thing and it.." She winces. "..okay. I'm just going to come out and say it." She pauses. Not coming right out to say it. Not at all. In fact, the suspense was annoying. "Do you like men? Like in a lady love fashion to their husbands but.. you're both men.. so mennie love?"

*

Bobby knew it was okay to go in. He just didn't want to. But with a soft sigh, he goes into the bedroom to look at the dresses. "I like black. Or green." Jean's babbling just makes him blink at her, having not the slightest idea what she's talking about. At least not till she actually, truly, comes right out and asks. Taking a step back, and going a bit pale, he says "No! I like girls! I've dated them. Lots of them! Why would you say such a thing?" Except she already said why. "We should go." Which is code for SHUT UP.

*

Jean grasps the white, keeping it close to her chest as she turns to watch Bobby with a slight.. hesitation. But, the cat was out of her bag so to speak, she finally cleared the air and his shock and awe pretty much had her taking a step back. "I.. well, Bobby.. wait, let me explain!"

She rushes to the closet to put the dress away, returning to the bed immediately to grab the green and black dress to fold upon her arm. "I'm not done, I need to get the rest of my stuff but.. Bobby wait. Just.. let's talk about this for a minute. Its okay!"

*

Bobby turns his back on Jean and goes back to the door where he leans against the frame again. "There's nothing to talk about. I like girls. Just… get whatever it is you need to get." he tells her, while the fear of her knowing and everyone finding out sweeps over him alongside his denial that if he just tries hard enough, it'll stop and he can live a normal life.

*

Jean feels like a total shit show, her empathy was nothing more but a nuisance, but she really couldn't help it. It needed to be addressed. Or.. maybe she felt like helping him. Maybe she was truly an asshole and even mentioning it would just make Bobby's life harder. "Okay.." She quietly relents, moving past him with a slight brush of her shoulder against his. "But.. can you stop admiring Warren when I'm around?" Last ditch of trying, before she slips into her room across the hall.

*

Bobby almost sobs at that. "I've tried." he whispers. "I can't. I keep trying but it doesn't work. Don't tell him. Please? Don't tell anyone."

*

Oh.. this was heartbreaking. The clothes were immediately put upon the bed as she quick turns around to rush towards her door. Her hand reaches out, fingers beckoning him close as if she were a thief, summoning her partner in crime before they're caught. "Bobby? Come?"

*

Bobby closes his eyes a moment and swallows, before taking a deep breath. Giving Jean a single nod, he walks over.

*

And then she just hugs him. No strings attached. She truly felt for him in ways that only people like her really could. The hug was tight, nearly possessive, friendly with an attempt to comfort. "I promise I won't say anything to anyone. This is between you and me, okay?" Not that she wanted to force him out, it was dangerous. Being a mutant and gay, it was akin to being a mutant and a different race entirely.

She gives a light pat to his back and pulls away, her hands lifting to attempt to wipe away the tears from her cheeks. "You don't know how lucky you have it. You have a deeper understanding of love than most of us and you feel it in your bones. Like you have an old soul in those icy veins of yours. You're wonderful, you know that?"

*

Bobby stands there stiffly as Jean hugs him but once she promises to keep quiet, he goes limp rests his head on her shoulder. "No, I'm not. I don't want this. I never wanted this. I just want to be normal." A normal mutant. "Look how people treat black people. Treating them awful, like they're stupid and inferior. But at least there's a lot of them to be black with together." Then he lifts his head and looks at Jean. "Could you… change things?" He never had the courage to ask the Prof because if the the Prof knew, he never brought it up.

*

Jean frowns, her hands grasping at his arms. "No ones normal." She says plainly. She should know, she was surrounded by crazies, and even the crazies seemed a lot better than the supposed 'normals'. "I know.." She confesses. "They're dealt a raw deal because of something that's out of control. Just like we are. Just because what you are is different doesn't mean that the struggle isn't the same. It's painful."

She takes a step back, letting his arms go, her gaze a little shocked at his question. For a moment, her lips part to speak, but she immediately turns away from him to move towards her closet, gathering her flowery luggage to slap upon the bed with haste. "I don't know Bobby. It's.. dangerous. I think.." She huffs quietly. "..shutting that part of yourself off. We don't know what could happen.."

*

Bobby reaches up to rub his eyes. "Never mind, Jean. I shouldn't have asked. I know better. You're not trained enough to be doing something like that." It's not that he changed his mind, he just knows she shouldn't even try with her powers barely under her control. "I'll just…" Do what he's been doing.

*

Jean was quiet as she gathers most of her clothes to put it into her suit cases. Taking one picture out of the wall, and one only, shoving it in, and slamming the top down shut. She was wordless for a time, but she does finally bring her bags towards the door where Bobby stands, ready to go.

"I'll think about it."

*

"Don't bother." Bobby answers, sounding resigned. "Just learn what you need to learn. It'll be a long time till you're a good enough telepath to do that kind of thing. It was a dumb idea. It's fine, really." He reaches for the bags.

*

"O.. Okay Bobby.." But, if anyone knew Jean.. which they really didn't.. she was still going to learn. And try.

*

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