1963-08-25 - Self Care
Summary: After hours at the office yields a friendship and some movement on an ongoing problem.
Related: Lethal Magnetism Plot
Theme Song: None
bruce peggy 


It's about the end of the work day and people are trailing out. Into their cars, their homes, their families. While there were a few nights of feverish extra crew working around the clock, without much leads to follow, most of the office life has fallen back into being normal. Except for Director Carter. Peggy Carter seems deterined to either work herself to death or to the answer of their missing people. A few of the boys are muttering about if they should bother her, tell her to go home, but someone with better sense says they better not and they all trail out.

Inside the office, Peggy is exhaustedly staring at the thousands of pages of personnel files and rosters that she got from every single base who is missing a weapon. She's trying to find some common thread, find something in the data which will unlock a key.

*

Staying after hours is easy when you're used to having nowhere consistent to go. Doctor Bruce Banner, still wearing his coat from the lab, trails through the office area to find another sheet of paper to scribble on. His fingers madly count, attempting to complete some rather tricky calculus without aid of pen and paper, but it's futile. The formula is already disappearing from his mind as he grasps pen and paper from a nearby desk.

While the majority of the office area is darkened, one light beckons his attention. His eyebrows draw together and he takes a long, slow breath. The name on the door is one that requires at least a little apprehension. Bothering the Director in the middle of a crisis seems like a bad idea. On the other hand, Banner knows all too well feelings of complete loss.

His feet shuffle towards her office, and he lifts his knuckles to rap against the side of the door softly.

"Director?" he asks softly before glancing back into the darkened space. His eyes study her face a few beats and his shoulders sag slightly. "Peggy," it's not in his nature of revert to first names so easily without permission. His lips press together tightly and his eyebrows draw together as he gets a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. "Need some help?" he finally offers.

*

The woman behind the desk is definitely not the vibrant, incredibly tough woman he's met over the last few weeks. Her cheeks are sallow, definitely more hollow than their over night journey to the mountains a few weeks past. Her hair isn't down in it's normal curls but is pulled back messily in a tie at the nape of her neck, just to get it out of her face. She's not bothering to hide the bags under her eyes and the suit she's wearing? Well, she's been in that suit for at least three days. It's not a pretty sight. Her desk also looks like a filing cabinet has simply puked all over it. There is no way she's able to keep track of all those files.

"…Bruce…. ah, Dr. Banner. Sorry… May…may I help you?" She sits a bit straighter, trying not to look like she's on the edge of falling apart or that she's gotten more than four hours sleep a night since this all happened. "No, no…I'm fine…just trying to finish…going through this all….find something with… some lead. I don't know…" There is a slight shake to her hand as she motions to the pages. Who knows when the last she ate was.

*

"Bruce," Banner corrects quietly as he issues her a tiny smile. He takes a deep breath, "Peggy," he motions towards her, with just an air of may I call you Peggy, before stepping into the office. "You," his jaw works around the words, concern creeping into his expression, "you could use the help." He issues her a stitch of a smile. "I finished grad school many years ago, but if there's one thing I've learned," his lips purse, "finding patterns requires fresh eyes. Rest. Food."

He cranes his neck to look over the pages. "Come on, we'll get some dinner and look over this together. I'm done in the lab for the day, and maybe we can strategize." There's another flicker of a smile as he adds, "I'm actually kind of good at finding patterns. It was like a life's calling to research or something."

*

As he gives that gesture almost asking permission to call her Peggy, the woman just gently bows her head. It clearly doesn't bother her and, well, after his other half kidnapped her into the mountains, she somewhat feels like they've grown closer. She looks back down to the work in front of her, trying to actually figure out how to organize things. That's the moment where it somewhat hits her just how bad things have gotten. She blinks against a sudden sting behind her eyes, all of her threatening to fall apart. It's something she fights, though. He shouldn't have to see this.

"…S-sorry…I don't think I…realized the time. I guess, perhaps…I should… organize, a bit." She gestures to the papers, still a bit shakey, but she's trying to hide it as best she can. She's probably failing entirely. Instead, she reaches an unsteady hand down to the desk drawer to pull out the work pack of cigarettes. She hardly ever smokes, but just keeping awake requires smoking right now… "…I don't even know that the answers are here. I just… don't know what more to do…"

*

Crying women are like Bruce's kryptonite. His smile falters, and he slides further into the room, and reaches out to give Peggy's shoulder a strong supportive squeeze. "Breathe," he offers quietly, and stands there. "Don't apologize. Not to me. Not to anyone here." His eyes lid lightly, "But you need to take care of yourself." A glance is cast towards the cigarettes and he ticks his head towards the door, "Come on. We'll get some dinner. I'll get you home. And I will burn the midnight oil tonight." He issues her a lopsided smile, "I promise no hours will be wasted. You'll come back fresh tomorrow, and I'll have dug into this. All of it."

His lips purse lightly and then he offers, "Plus… I may have a temporary solution to the missing nuke problem." His free hand presses his glasses higher on his nose, "I designed something call the Absorbatron for Stark Industries. The prototype works. It is designed to absorb nuclear energy. It's expensive to make, but it's possible we can put one in large city centres likely to undergo attack — "

*

The touch on her shoulder somehow makes it worse. Or, well, makes it harder to gather in all those tears and put forward that calmly carrying on face that the British are so good at carrying. A week without her husband and with so little sleep is enough to break anyone. Especially a hormonal anyone. Not that anyone else really knows. She takes another shaking breath, reaching the base of her hand up to the bottom of her eyelashes as she tries to pat away the tears before they actually fall. "…Ridiculous. This is ridiculous. This is why married people shouldn't work together… I… I am so sorry. You shouldn't be seeing this. I'm ridiculous…" Peggy admits with an embarrassed half laugh.

Then he brings that information about the absorbing devices, and her dark eyes go fiercely wide. She sits up straight, far more professional a heartbeat later. "…What? Dr. Banner, that's… Brilliant. I… I need you on that. Now. Manufacturing a dozen. More. How quickly can you do it? I can get you whatever money you need by tomorrow morning. We just need to get it done. President Kennedy himself will approve this, I promise… You could save millions of lives."

*

"It's not ridiculous, and you are certainly not ridiculous," Banner asserts quietly as his head shakes. "You're actually holding up impressively. You just need to take care of yourself too. There's a lot of people depending on you here. Unfortunately that means trying to be at your best. Which is hard when you are missing someone you love," he frowns momentarily before offering, "And I read a survey once that said most people find their spouses in the workplace." His gaze turns downwards. "You're lucky to have found someone who understands you so well." His cheeks hue a pale pink and he manages a sad sort of smile.

Peggy's excitement at the last prompts Banner to smile a little easier. "With enough hands, we can turn a dozen around in less than a week. Roughly two per day. I need people, but it can be done." His lips press together tightly. "It does have one fault, when it absorbs nuclear energy, it keeps it inside. Vibranium is the only metal that seems to be able to contain it. And in saving lives, we create nuclear bombs again." He winces. "We can, however, jettison them to space or — " he frowns, "repurpose them to power cities."

*

At least this is work that she can actually get behind, work that she can prove some progress has been made. It's not work that will bring her husband home, but that's alright. Peggy nods immediately, reaching over to the phone on her desk (she needs to push aside more than a few pages to get to it) and picking up the receiver. She dials for the night secretary, "Lacey, I need you to call back in a team of scientists from lab… A. They're going to be working under Dr. Banner to produce something to help with the current case. They'll get overtime, of course, for all the extra hours. As many are willing to come back, bring them in." Peggy gets a confirmation and then hangs up the phone.

Of course, that's still going to be an hour or two before Bruce has his team. Probably long enough to eat, or at least ensure Peggy is eating. She's gotten control of her tears as she focuses on the work that is in front of her. "We'll get you your team, Dr. Banner. they'll arrive this evening. Work as late as you are all capable and then come back in the morning. If no one seems to be pulling their weight, you tell me and I'll replace them." See? Working pushes away all those awful thoughts.

*

"Thank you, Peggy," Banner offers evenly as he holds out a hand. "Come on," he ticks his head towards the door. "Let's get you some food. The team will come and we will work on this, but in the meantime." He glances to the door. "Besides, if I'm working late, I need to eat. There's no way I can navigate nuclear physics on an empty stomach." His eyes tick upwards, "That's just an invitation to let the other guy take over, and something tells me Hulk isn't the most adept at anything science." His eyebrows arch upwards.

"Join me?"

*

The woman seems a bit hesitant, as if leaving her desk was betraying something quite vital to her life. But then her stomach actually rather loudly gurgles. She looks down, some heat touching her thin cheeks, and finally nods. "Fine… fine. Just a bit of food. Because you should eat as well." She concedes, reaching up to take that offered hand. She lets him tug her up to her feet which actually turns out to be a rather wise choice because the moment she's up, she wavers. Not quite dizzy enough to hit chair again, but close. On cigarettes and tea can not a woman run, especially not one in her condition.

*

Bruce, while not the stronger of his two personas, reaches out to try to help Peggy find some stability. His lips twitch into a boyish, lopsided grin, and he offers her his elbow. "You're doing me a huge favour, Director," he offers with a grin. "I'm pretty sure the waitress at the nearest Diner has assumed I'm psychotic in some way." The grin takes on self-deprecating quality, "Eating alone too often causes speculation." There's a twinkle in his eyes as he offers, "It's on me. A huge favour. Truly."

*

Peg leans against him just a moment as she steadies herself. She then takes in a deep breath and gives a slight smile, "Alright… alright. Though I know this isn't just doing you a favour. I just… " Her dark eyes look back to the desk and she sighs. "I don't know what to do any more." She whispers, something soul deep scared and feeling very tiny in those words. The great Peggy Carter is feeling helpless and she can't remember when that's happened before. So, she lets him lead the way, at least, to food. That is something to do, one foot in front of the other.

*

The words are given their weight, allowed to drift over Banner's thoughts as the cogs in his mind are working. "I think…" he starts and then considers quietly, "…you trust your instincts." His eyebrows draw together sharply. "My father," he cringes slightly at the word, "once explained that a good manager hires people to do their jobs and trusts them to do them while pitching in at the same time." His throat clears, "You've brought together some very talented people. Brilliant people. Strong people. People who have many abilities and strengths." He presses his lips together tightly, "Now you just need to trust them to do their jobs. I know," he offers, "easier said than done. But you need rest. This is not your job alone. You hired people to bear this weight with you."

*

"I know…I know I did. And they have been so good, Bruce… so good. But it's been a week, and if people aren't found in the first 24 hours, I know the statistics…" Peggy admits softly, trying to hold her heart against that despair but it's threatening to drown her ever so much. Then, almost out of no where, but just because the secret is driving her half insane and maybe she at least needs one person to understand how bad things are. "… Daniel and I are… expecting again, Bruce. ANd… I know I shouldn't be here. I know I need to sleep… to… do more things, but… I can barely think. That's why he went and… and not me…"

*

Peggy's words once again are met with silence. Bruce's jaw tightens and he guides her gently out the building towards the nearest Diner. He inhales a sharp breath and offers, "Then you really do need to take care of yourself better, Peggy." Another voice in his head states HULK help Peggy and Banner gently prods the Hulk back into some other place in his mind. "You aren't going to find them if you're unfed, frazzled, and exhausted," he offers quietly. "And it's not your job alone. Trust us. Trust the people around you. We'll get dinner, and you go home to your little one. Then tomorrow, I promise, we'll get back to it."

*

It feels a little better just having TOLD someone else, instead of keeping it like a dirty secret. Peggy nods faintly to his words, "I know…I know." She gives his arm a gentle squeeze then, a squeeze that is all friendship and not professional, but it's warm and relieved. "I…I will, Bruce. I promise. I think I've gone half insane with all of this. Thanks for being the steady one." She gives him a wry smile, the irony of that statement not lost on her, and then walks on dwon to the diner with him in exhausted silence. At least they can both relax over a dinner.

*

Unless otherwise stated, the content of this page is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 License