1963-11-16 - Mental Blocks
Summary: Jean and Gabriel move to a quiet place to speak after his intrusion into the Mansion.
Related: If there are no related logs, put 'None', — please don't leave blank!
Theme Song: None
gabriel jean 


After all that has transpired with those at the Mansion, Jean was actually stalling. Food was had, and Jean decided to take him to the expanse of the library, not wanting him to leave just yet. So with his hand in hers, she led him there, her arm sweeping as she continues along with the tour. "So this is the library." She says to him, a dreamy sigh drawn upon her lips. She leans in close, capturing his upper arm with her hands as she gives an upnod towards a row of books.

"We study here. Or we just.. read. I don't know. But I really like it, its the best place in this entire thing. Aside from the bedrooms, because I love to nap. Napping is like close to godliness, as they say." Babble, babble, babble. She draws him in, her hand lifting in a gesture which has the door swinging shut as she walks away from it, finally releasing his hand, that protectiveness there, but she wasn't going to loom and keep constant contact.

"I know that everything turned out bad. But are you going to stay?"

*

Gabriel doesn't shy away from the contact when Jean pulls up to his arm, he seems to be almost familiar with it and acts accordingly on a sub-aware level. He looks at the books, interested but not overly so and the other items she indicates; but mostly Gabe seems to be studying Jean in a combination of curious and amused expressions.

It had been a rough introduction. Nothing making sense and the frustrations that boiled just beneath the surface, not at others but at himself. To simply not know what to do was taking a toll on him. So before he speaks he takes a long time to contemplate then finally puts his words together. "I do not know if staying is best for me, or your people. I am a mystery and I cannot even answer you about myself. That is frightening."

*

A chair near to the table was soon pulled out, one for him and the other for herself, and once she settles in, she finally lets out a little sigh. "You're right, you don't know that. You also don't know if staying is best for -you-. You could learn a lot here, we could help you. And if you really are an alien, I don't think I'd want you out there to get hurt or captured." He was like her baby! Her ward! "They don't treat people like us kindly as is, imagine what they'll do to you?"

She keeps her elbows upon thet able, her lips pursing tightly. "I know it's scary.. but.. okay. How about this. Tell me what you -do- want? Right now? Do you feel you need anything? Do you want to go for a walk? Do you want me to leave you alone?"

*

Gabriel has partially disconnected.

*

Gabriel shakes his head slowly and looks at Jean as he sits down. "I do not want to be treated like I am helpless. Lost is not helpless." He starts by saying with a bite of his lip. "Confused does not mean I do not understand. I am not a child. I just can't… remember anything." He leans forward a bit, "That is what I want most, at least right now."

*

Jean frowns slightly. "Is that what I'm doing to you?" She was being honest in asking that question. She did lead him by the hand, she didn't speak to him as if he were a child but, she just.. spoke to him. In fact, she doesn't remember asking what he wanted until now. She just forced it all upon him and expected to deal with it. And she felt horrible.

"Oh.. god.." She murmurs softly, leaning back to draw a hand to cover her face. "I am so sorry.."

*

Gabriel reaches out, to take Jean's hands like she has done to him before. "You did not mean to do it. It just was how you saw things. I like you talking and I like listening to you talk. It has been the part of all of this that has not been confusing. It is… uhm… constant."

When he says constant he manages a smile. "You were there when I woke up and have done nothing but try to help. So you are not going to feel sorry."

*

As he takes her hand, Jean keeps her eyes away from him, planting upon the table. It was clear that she was bothered by this, well.. this entire thing. "So, in other words, I talk too much." Jean grumbles out. "Greaat." Though, a little smile touches her features, her fingers curling around his hand.

"I really enjoy how you -tell- me how not to feel. I feel sorry, you have to accept that and move on." She grins faintly. "You have an odd way of speaking, almost like you're a robot from Lost In Space. Have you ever seen that televi-.." Well, now that she thinks about it, he possibly hasn't. It takes her a moment to realize that she was still holding onto his hand, and with a slow release of his fingers, she lets him go. "Sorry."

*

Gabriel watches Jean for a few moments, head tilting to the side as he studies her and finally it is his turn. After all this time, it's his opportunity to speak with pseudo thought. "Why did you bring me here? Why not leave me or just put me some place else? Why keep me?" He doesn't sound upset, not in the least, he is curious in tone, his expression matches it and the tilt of his head almost looks playful.

*

"I.. I don't know exactly." Jean confesses. "I.. really wasn't thinking about anything else but your safety. Consequences be damned, I suppose." She shakes her head then, leaning away from him to keep out of reach. Even though he looks playful enough, handsome enough, she still had to keep her resolve. "I mean, you're not a pet or anything. I can't -force- you to stay. But you're odd. And I want you to meet the Professor. He's the best person this world has. Everyone should at least know him, I think."

*

Gabriel keeps studying Jean and watches her as she pulls away, shies away from him. He frowns a bit but nods his head, "I'll meet this Professor, because you want me to. I won't decide anything for certain until then. But it is rather clear that I'm not entirely wanted here."

*

There was a little wince that hit her, her head shaking as she finally lets out a sigh. "No.. I think everyone is just scared.." She says quietly. "I.. want to be selfish and say that I'd want you here. You listen to me talk and you don't judge me. I feel stupid half of the time but.." She smiles, a little sad. "If you want to go, you can. You will, I suspect if you want. But, at least do me a favor and letting me know where you go? Just so I can visit you."

*

Now it is his turn to not make eye contact, to look away a bit and be hesitant to speak. But finally he does with his own little shrug. "I like to listen to you talk. And I do not know why I would judge you, you're the only person who does talk to me. Were I to vanish, no one would know but you… so that means a lot." His eyes lift up then, looking as bashful as Gabriel feels.

*

Aww! It was almost like it was a custom for her to stand as he makes such a little confession, and with a little lean in, she gathers him up into a hug even if he didn't know what she was after. Which was a hug. "I'll make sure everyone knows that you're important, even if you don't know it yourself, alright? You vanish? Everyones going to come running."

*

The hug surprises him a bit, as Gabriel wasn't expecting a response as such but he mimics the gesture that Jean makes by putting his own arms around her to hold, to squeeze gently and not readily pull away. He speaks to her then, amused and chuckling a bit. "What if I'm not afraid though?" He asks it to her. "I don't remember, Id on't know why, but I am not afraid of any of this."

*

A little tug backward, and Jean realizes that he wasn't too keen to let go. So she keeps the hug there, her eyes lifting as she tries to formulate a decent response. "Maybe.." She says quietly, drawing away, her fingers remaining upon his shoulders as she gives him a smile. "..you just don't care?" Her own shoulders shrug, her body shifting so that she could move from his grip, her foot striking back to slide the chair to be much closer than she previously was.

"Or, you don't know to be fearful of what you don't know.." If he lets her go, she'll sit across from him. "But.. Alex, the guy from the other night, made me think of something. What if I try to look inside of your mind? Maybe that could help."

*

Naturally he let's her go, he's not going to entrap her. But he does sit there and look at Jean when she settles in across from him. Silence ensues for several moments before he shrugs. "When I try to look, to try to remember something my head hurts very badly. But I do not know what you do or how you do it to know if it would result in the same."

*

"I can.. probably help with that?" Jean says, her voice a little high. She reaches out with both of her hands, taking his into her own. "At least a little. I'm not very good at any of this stuff. I suppose it's another reason why to meet with the Professor. He's lovely."

She clears her throat, an attempts to get settled.

"I don't know how I do it, but I do.. like now.." Her eyes close, and for a moment, things remain silent. It was like a slow awakening, her voice soft within his mind, her eyes opening as she smiles towards him, her fingers squeezing his.

« Can you hear me? »

*

Very slowly, Gabriel nods his head towards Jean in response to the voice she presence in his mind. "Yes, it is… unusual." He explains to her in a way that is the best he can manage.

The surface of his mind is uncomfortable, even for him. A telepath would perhaps compare it to sliding across sandpaper. Not damaged but like a barbed wire fence laying across the surface discouraging intruders from visiting. "What if your professor doesn't like me?"

*

Jean smiles. But he would note that she does not use her mouth to speak. Instead.. by accident, a swirl of her thoughts nearly impact his all at once. What to do today. That box. What would the professor do. He was quite the looker but a little familiar.. until it silences.

There was a clear focus there, Jean slowly projecting herself within his mind, not building a landscape.. but she actively winces and hisses.

"If I like you, then he will like you.." While, that was no guarantee, she had faith.

But.. it was uncomfortable! Her hands even begin to itch as she holds onto him, her fingers constantly rubbing against his, palms brushing in effort to itch. She felt stuck, even. Almost like it was velcro.. until..

'What are you doing.' The bird speaks, and Jean jumps just a little with effort to stuff her back into her place.

*

It was uncomfortable for Jean it seemed, the fidgeting, the way she rubbed his hands. Were it not for the slipping of her thoughts into his mind that brought a small smile to his lips he would probably have pulled away right out. Instead he let's her stay in proximity and deals with the discomfort he feels himself. It was very odd and he did this for her, that is until he tilts his head. "What was that?"

*

It was a slow integration, Jean was being careful. The emergence of the bird nearly panicked her, but she reaffirmed her stance within his mind as she makes herself realized within. While she doesn't speak -inside-, she allows herself the luxury of her vocals. "Nothing." But.. that was a lie. Mingled with him, he could tell that there was a slight twinge of fear -for- him, and of herself.

So far, it was just her in the darkness of his mind. She didn't coax or wander, she didn't try to move or manipulate. Not yet. "Okay. Let's try something.." She clears her throat, shifting a little bit closer, her palm still itching at his hand. "Think of something. But.. don't.." She grunts, how in the world could she say this? "..don't do it fast.. slow. Try to remember what your home looked like, and I'll try to stop the pain."

*

Slowly Gabriel closes his eyes and does as Jean asks, attempts to think to his home. It should be a simple enough task to find a common fabric such as a home.

Within his mindscape the darkness shifts and converts, twisting away as the pure black begins to illuminate with a cloudy purple fog that filters through, thick to the touch. It does not sit but seeks to grow and infest, to climb over and engulf the presence. It whispers, dark hoarse sounds in a strange tongue imparting sensations of warning. The depth of the fog grows more, the further Gabe tries to remember the thicker it becomes, choking until lightning crackles abruptly and he grasps his head in pain.

*

The world was slowly building before her eyes. In fact, this was Jean's very first time witnessing such a phenomena. Her arms extend, keeping herself steady within, her arms flailing just a touch as she stumbles and falls upon the ground within. The pain could be seen upon her face out in the real world, her cheeks flushing a little red, but she holds on. As best as she could, even if her grip upon his hand begins to tighten.

The language that fills the room has her head drawing upright, the figure within his mind of her beginning to tremble and phase. She didn't understand it. But someone -did-.

'Jean, get out.'

Just as the demand was issued, Gabriel draws his hand away. Jean instinctively reaches forward, drawing her arms around his head to tug him towards her to soothe. She ran. She ran from his mind -so- fast. She was scared..

"Ok ok.. I'm sorry I'm sorry.."

*

Again he lets her pull him down, to soothe him against the onslaught of chaos in his mind and the pain that accompanied it. The lightning strikes of agony every time he got too close to a memory being a real thing; something that could confirm that he is not delusional or making it up.

He stays there in her arms for a moment before finally managing to quietly whisper. "Do not be sorry. You are trying to help. It is I who am broken…"

*

She lightly pets the back of his head, careful to not move too much. But he could feel how fast her heart beats, and how she mildly shook from what she had just witnessed. She had never seen anything like it, even if she slipped into someones mind by accident.

"No no no, you're not broken!" She says quietly, but the inflection in her voice was scolding. "And.." Okay, he was broken. "..we'll fix you. I promise. I'll do anything I can! If the Professor can't do it! There's Miss Frost, and if she can't do it, I'll try it again, and again, no matter how many times I fail. I promise." She lowers her chin to kiss the top of his head, slowly rocking with him. "It's going to be alright. I swear."

*

The rocking of him, the holding does help to soothe his own pain, but Gabriel begins to realize that she is shaken up as well. He rests there, against her and let's her hold him for both of them before finally his eyes lift up, looking to Jean and he asks quietly, shortly after she kisses the top of his head. "How can you? How can you believe in something like that so certainly?"

*

"Because.." She finally says, pulling away from him to lightly touch his cheek. It was still a soothing gesture, one that she felt all the better for. "..I don't have anything else." She hugs him again, placing another kiss atop of his head before she lets him go, not sheepish, but clearly worried about his well being. She didn't know what else to say at the moment, but she was watching to make sure that he was alright. "Sho.. should I call a nurse?"

*

Gabriel shakes his head, "No… We don't need a nurse." He just referred to it as 'we'. "I trust you… because I don't have anything else either." He pauses then manages a small smile as the pain has receded away some, grinning really at her now slowly. "What do people do when they don't have anything?"

*

Jean laughs softly, it was almost sad.. really. They were two truly messed up individuals. He, who doesn't know who he is, and she, who always has to be watched. And most of the time she's felt scolded. "I don't know.." She answers honestly, finally drawing back away from his space and into her own. She really -was- thinking about the question. "I suppose we can do what we want. But.. as long as you're safe." Jean points out, seriously. "Like now." She grins. "What do you want to do right now."

*

The man shakes his head at Jean and lifts his shoulders up into a shrug. "I do not even know what I would do, what I can do. You're asking the person who does not know, what he wants to do. What do I want to do? What do you want to do? That may be a better starting place."

*

"I'm asking a man who is.. well, now basically free to think of something that he should try!" Jean cracks out a laugh, then finally stands, both of her hands held out for him to capture so that she could help him up. "I don't know, though! I feel.. I feel like dancing.." Because she was scared. "..I feel like going into the kitchen and eating all of the sweet stuff." She grins then, and if he takes her hand, she'd pull him into a slight spin. "..I feel like going for a walk outside without a jacket and being cold. Maaaybe, even dancing a little." Which she does, bopping a little, tugging him to a fro. "Or.. I feel like going to sleep. And having someones arms around me to make sure that I'm safe for once." She grins. "Stuff like that."

*

Gabe is pulled up by Jean, which is amusing considering their size difference but he allows himself to get lead, first being spun about, which gets a confused look and then other comments she makes get an equally lost expression although an amused one. "I do not know how to dance, I don't think anyway. I suppose it is possible I simply forgot. Or do I know sweets. I didn't think it was cold when I was outside. You will have to show me these things. All of these things."

*

It was rather silly, but it was making her feel better. She wasn't afraid anymore and her trembling had stopped. Even as he speaks, she draws his hands high into the air, not forcing his body to dance.. just his arms. "I can teach you, though I don't know either!" And with that, she twirls herself, wrapping his arms about her to .. well, force him to hug her. And she sways. "Sweets. After we talk to the Professor, I'll ask him for a loan! I.. do have a job but I haven't been there for a while, so I haven't been paid. Then I'll take you out on the town, we'll by candy.. chocolate, cake.. pies.. cookies.." She untwirls herself from his grasp, then slowly draws a circle around him, taking him with her. Silly girl.

"Ooh, I can take you to a movie too. You get to experience popcorn!"

*

"Sweets and popcorn?" Both sound utterly unfamiliar to Gabe, but then again most things do sound unfamiliar. He struggles a bit to turn his body to keep pace with Jean's twirling movements around him, but does keep his hand in her grasp while she does so. At the pull into hug, he holds; then when she releases he naturally follows suit and extends her outwards. All the motions eventually bring a bemused, humored look to his features. "And what am I to do for you? I cannot simply be someone who hangs on."

*

Jean dances with a sort of abandon that only she could provide, youthful and silly. Filled with a lot of laughter even though hers was just quiet enough to nearly be missed. Even as he slowly gets into the rhythm of it, she finally lets him go, a breath taken as she gives him a slight admonishing look.

"What if that's all I need? Just someone to be around? And that's what you do when you go to the movies. You hang on to the other person because you're there together." Makes sense, right? "What -do- you want to do for me, then? I mean, you could talk more. That would be nice. Ask questions! Especially about things you do not know. Or just say whatever comes to mind. That's how you get to know yourself. Speaking without thinking."

*

His head tilts to the side, again with that thinking expressions, "But everything is a question. So I do not know what I want to do for you. I suppose I will have to discover what is right to do for someone who is kind to you." The shoulders lift into a shrug, the small smile that had started to fade with his thoughts comes back. "When I discover questions to ask, I will ask them, yes?"

*

"I know it is. And it'll be okay to ask."

Jean was nearly at a loss, but she reaches forward to grab his hands again to slowly settle within her own chair, hoping he would take his again. "I think I will have to do all of the doing for the both of us. Like, teach you how to read." She gestures around, there were books upon books, even books had books where books were no longer books but encyclopedias. "We can start with something small. And then over time, do something bigger.." She frowns a little. "If the Professor lets you stay. I'm leaving for a quieter place in the city myself. It's just gotten too hard here lately." She does nod though, and smiles. "Yes. Ask them. And I'll try my best to answer."

*

That makes Gabriel tilt his head and eyes flash momentarily. "You are leaving because it is difficult here, but asking me to stay? I do not understand this." It isn't exactly a question but the tone of his voice is rather implicit. He's completely confused how that logic works. "I do not know anyone here. They all look at me in… you saw how they are towards me. Why would I stay here alone?"

*

"I.. don't understand it either.." Jean murmurs quietly. "I know that you being here is better for you, because you can learn everything that people have to offer. And the Professor is like me, where he can safely navigate your mind better than I can, and help you remember who you are." She draws in a breath, then lets out a sigh. "I just need to be alone and away from here. I love these people, I really do. But I've never been alone. In my own space. Doing what I want to do and trying to be an adult." She tries not to, but she does cry. Silent tears that were soon wiped away. "I feel like a failure all the time around here. I'm tired of it."

Though, her shoulders lift faintly, a little sad smile upon her lips. "You can come with me then? I don't know how to take care of someone else, but I will try for you. And I'm sorry they were that way. They were just scared."

*

A finger reaches up, slowly and touches the tear that comes from Jean's eye. Gabriel traces it and wipes it away with a concerned, albeit curious, look. "No. I do not think you should take care of me. I do not think anyone should. I understand that you want to be yourself." There's a slow nod, a confirmation. "I want to be myself, once I figure out who I am."

*

Jean doesn't shy away from the touch, but she does wipe away at her other eye again. "Do you know what to do with yourself?" She asks quietly. "Do you know when to eat? How to cook? It's my fault that you're here in this house. But I really couldn't leave you, which makes you my responsibility." She smiles though. "And, you're a wonderful person to talk to. You help me a lot, really. I don't have to think so much around you. I just.. do. And it feels good." She huffs a little, then asks.. "What will you do with yourself then?"

*

His shoulders lift, "If I cannot remember, then I will figure out what I can as best I can." Gabriel looks down at his hands, turns them over. They look worn. Not delicate or gentle but hands that have seen work. "I can probably find something to do to occupy myself. There's people that just live here right? You said you work at a job? Well, maybe that's what I can do, work at a job." A smile creeps just slightly. "Then learn to cook, and when to eat, and customs."

*

As he looks at his hands, Jean does as well. She does it with a little lean forward, her fingers reaching out to feel along his fingertips. They -were- rough, after all. But she says nothing for a time, then looks up towards him, considering. "Work." She says quietly. "Can you fix things? Like, build things too?" It was a quiet question, one that has her hand clasping around his again. "Other people do live here. Most of them take classes here so that they could learn too. I just lived here for now, but I'm going to college elsewhere. But I work here by cleaning things for the kids. And I'm learning to cook more, and interact with people too." She blows out a breath.

"You don't have to stay here. Or with me. It's just an option.. though I'm afraid for you. I don't want you to be alone, but my wants aren't what matter here."

*

His head tilts upwards, brow furrowed once again, "But… you want to be alone, but do not want me to be alone?" Gabriel looks at their hands, then up to Jean's eyes. "You need to explain this to me. I do not understand. How is it better for you to be alone, but for me not to be alone. Should it not be consistent?"

*

Jean looks stumped. She does try her best to explain. "I.. I mean, alone. Like away from here. Where people don't treat me like a child because I did something wrong. Or.. I don't know. I just want to make my own mistakes without feeling like a freak. Or to be looked at like I'm a freak, or someone to be felt sorry for." She pulls her hands away from his, a little sadness that marked her features were hidden as she turns away, her feet a slow pace against the floor. "I.. I can't explain this one. I really can't. It should be consistent, yes. Or it.. shouldn't? I just.. you don't know anything about yourself. Hell, I don't know much about myself anymore. I just.."

*

Gabriel frowns, doing so because she is upset, thus he is upset that he upset her. Speaking of confusing. When she rises and begins her slow pace he rises as well and watches for a moment before speaking. "Perhaps, some time to gather thoughts would be good? Some time of quiet. I can think of what I need to ask and you can think of what you need to answer?" The tone is gentle. It had been a busy day, an intrusive busy day. Shootings and meeting other people for the firs ttime, the entire situation was almost overwhelming and was catching up with Gabriel. Besides, it was drawing into evening as was.

*

"You mean away from each other.." Jean sounded sad. But it was true. She couldn't hear his thoughts as she would others, and she felt that she wasn't judged around him no matter what she said. There was even a time she could see grimaces and disdain upon Logan's face if she mentioned something. Perhaps the clear, emotional immaturity to Gabriel was refreshing. And she wanted to keep it all to herself. She didn't want to drive him away though with her constant babbling, even though he said he liked it.

"Y.. yeah. Maybe.." She finally murmurs. "..we can go back to Logan's cabin and then meet the Professor in the morning and take everything from there." She sniffs a little, finally cleaning her face with a wipe of her hands. She turns around then, drawing on a smile. "Does that seem okay to you?"

*

Gabriel nods to Jean, "That seems like an excellent idea…" He offers with a smile, looking around confused now as he doesn't know which direction to go.

*

Awkward silence meet Gabriel and Jean. She stared at him for a long moment as he looked around, one brow lifted and.. "OH!" She begins to move, beckoning him on, though this time? She didn't grab ahold of his hand! In a way, she felt like now she was treating him like a child, even though it was clear that he was not. "This way. I know you know how to work a door, no one forgets that.." She grins, but there was a question.. "How did you know to find me here anyways?"

*

Gabriel's shoulders lift into a shrug. "I don't know, I just did. It seemed like the only place that would make sense…" He follows Jean out, winding, chatting, eventually ending up at Logan's cabin where he lays on the floor to sleep…

It was about 2 AM when Gabriel awoke. He was silent despite the turmoil and chaos of his mind. The sweat poured off him, he shed the shirt he was sleeping in and tossed it aside on the floor before as quietly as he could slipping out the door to find a spot of grass to sit on. The cold air punctured the moist skin as he sat there under the full moon overhead, illuminating downwards, lighting him as he sat there, staring upwards.

*

The babbling was nonstop towards Logan's cabin. Which was a shock considering their earlier conversation about letting things be for a while.. And yet Jean herself couldn't sleep. In fact, most times she doesn't sleep until she had no more energy left. She was filled with it still, energy. Energy that was slowly dwindling down by the moment, still tossing and turning upon the bedroll that was laid upon the couch.

She heard the door open and close there after, which had her turning over to watch. For a moment, she didn't want to get up and go after him, and yet, she felt she had to. As she rises from her own bed to get a glass of water, she slowly emerges a few minutes later, dressed in a pair of pajama pants that had airplanes upon them, and a tank top. Nothing else.

"Here.." She quietly says, carefully kneeling down upon the grass next to him. And then she yawns softly, her fingers rubbing a little at her eyes. She was near to tapping out, but forcing herself awake just for him.

*

Gabriel looks up almost startled at Jean's arrival, then at the glass of water which he accepts and sips at before turning it over in his hands some. "Everything is wrong. I don't remember but everything just feels wrong, feels different." He looks at Jean, the moonlight allowing him to see her well enough and for his own features to be illuminated as he traces his eyes up to the yellow source above. "That is not right. I don't know that."

*

Jean listens quietly, her eyes closing and opening again, the ring of fire glows within her own green eyes as she looks towards Gabriel with a frown. Those bright eyes disappear momentarily, only piquing every now and then, which soon turns towards the moon in the sky as she gives a nod of her head.

"Most don't know until they've heard someone say it or ask." She means children. "It's the moon." She explains. "It circles around the earth, which is where we are, while we circle around the sun. Which is why it's night. We both turn and circle, and are held in place among the stars as we do it. At least that's the guess of people now a days. Do you feel this is wrong because you're not of this world?"

*

"I don't know. Shouldn't something feel familiar?" Gabriel asks towards Jean, eyes looking to be on the pleading side. "The sky? The grass? Something feel right? Everything is foreign. I cannot even explain this, how everything is unknown. I can speak to you Jean. I know my name. But everything else is wrong. How?" He sighs softly, eyes lowering as his face enters the palms of his hands and the sweat over his body begins to show again; the signs of panic, of confusion.

*

"Yes.." Jean admits. It was strange, she's never met anyone like him before. Not by figure, or the tattoos he had on his body, or the fact that he could remember only one thing about himself which is his name. The little panic has her drawing her arms around him as she scoots in close, resting her chin upon his shoulder as she just holds him there. "It'll be okay.." She says quietly. "I promise you it will. We'll figure everything out."

*

Chin on his shoulder, Gabriel turns just slightly towards Jean, his voice quiet. "How can you promise that? All I want is just something to be right… to feel familiar. To not feel so utterly lost." It was the exhaustion and confusion that was ramping through him, his breathing was trying to come back, the control over emotions and stoicism. But waking up in the middle of the night with terrors puts him out of sorts, leaving him here.

His teeth chatter almost for just a moment, cold or nerves, "The only thing that I know, is you."

*

"Its easy to promise it. Its hard to follow through with it, but I won't give up on you. I can and know I won't break that promise. I .. just don't know what we'll find." But, she allows him to speak, slowly rocking back and forth, a little twinge of a blush in the moonlight goes missed and her chin tilts to press a kiss to his shoulder. Soothing, she tries. She tries without impressing her own feelings to make him feel better. It was hard not to trick his mind into thinking everything would be okay so that he could sleep.

"I.. like that." She admits. "I feel like you need me, but then you don't. Maybe that's what I want? To be needed at least.." She says quietly, shaking her head. "But I also need you to know who you are.. so we can figure out what to do. So you can feel better. So you can be yourself and feel like you're really alive."

*

It was soothing, it was taking the edge off his mind, off his struggle to keep himself from losing the battle of anxiety. The holding of her arms, the touch of her lips to his shoulders. That caught him, that gesture and slowly Gabriel turns a bit more, twisting so he can almost face Jean. "I do need you. You're the only person I know, the only thing I have…" It was an admission, created by the situation certainly but there was almost a hint of more behind it. His eyes remain locked on hers, and slowly he leans forward..

*

"But you'll know more people.." Jean says quietly, hugging him tighter still. "I know it seems hard right now bu—.." Her words were caught a little as he leans in, her eyes widening, her brows shooting high towards the sky with the threat to knock the moon off it's orbit. Was he.. trying to kiss her? There was a moment of pure panic, her hand reaching up gently place upon his cheek, her own body leaning back just a touch as she finally forgives all, with a quick lean forward to peck against his lips.

Uh..

"You should go to bed."

*

He didn't really know what he was doing. Well, part of him did, the recess of his mind did but the active parts were so mixed up that they could not be held responsible. Sitting there, Gabriel opens his eyes, realizing they were closed and finds himself staring at Jean's eyes.

"Yeah. It… it's been an active day. Rest and sleep, right?" His tone is quiet, unconvinced sounding as he doesn't move a millimeter, instead remains there staring.

*

Jean finally smiles, then gives a slow nod of her head. Inwardly? She was embarrassed, outwardly, it was a failed experiment that she just pretends never happened. "Yes. Very active. Between you breaking windows and.. all of this stuff." She gestures around, finally drawing her arm from around him to hold out her hand. "Big day tomorrow, you're going to meet Charles finally." Her brows lift. "Help me up?"

*

ROLL: Gabriel +rolls 1d2 for a result of: 2

*

His mind still working, Gabriel reaches a hand out towards Jean when she puts hers out for help to rise. Taking it, he doesn't do as she asked however. Rather, he pulls gently, pulls Jean towards him and reaches with his spare hand to catch her cheek. "I am sorry." The voice is a whisper and then, well, she gave him a peck. Unless she pulls away, Gabriel is going to actually kiss her. Were he to be asked why, he couldn't provide an answer beyond he just 'did' it.

*

The pull towards him had her eyes wide, she was ready to speak when he apologized. But, there it was! That kiss. Her eyes close as she melds with him, her arm seeking to loop around his neck to keep him there. There was actually a little hesitancy throughout, but as she deepens the kiss with her own need of affection, there was really no going back. He had her, as he professed, she wasn't going anywhere.

*

It lingers for a time and then slowly Gabriel pulls away and whispers again, apologizes the second time, "I am sorry. I do not know why… I just…" He trails off. He just did it. She didn't seem to reject him, she embraced it. His arms had somehow come to wrap around Jean to hold her but he was still struggling with processing his actions. "Why?"

*

As he pulls away, Jean remains close to him, leaning in to kiss his lips again as she slowly shakes her head. "Don't be." She quietly murmurs, her lips pursed briefly, her gaze lifting towards the moon and back towards him as he asks the question. "I.. I don't know.." She says quietly, finally shifting her knees to help her own self up, her hands offering towards him so that she could do the same. "Things like this just happen. Are you upset?"

*

Gabriel takes her hands, but mostly gets himself up, only using her for a bit of balance. Once he's standing, he glances up at the moon then back down to Jean and his head shakes. "Not upset. Trying to understand is all. Why I did that. Why I feel more relaxed now. Why you kissed me as well. Just a lot of things I'm trying to understand." He pauses for a moment then smiles ever so slightly, "Although you did tell me to not think quite so much."

*

Jean releases his hands once he was upon his feet, her own drawing back to touch a little at her neck as she rubs idly. There was an awkward smile upon her face, her body swaying just a time, her shoulders lifted in a shrug. "You kissed me!" Nuh uh! She did it first! "I guess.. it was on impulse." She states. "Though, you only do it if the other says okay." Another pause. "Uh.. I don't know, maybe we should ask each other first next time." Her lip pokes out briefly, an inhale taken as she smiles. "Yes.." She breathes out. "..it's sort of freeing, right? Doing without thinking.."

*

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