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Gabriel;@emit To say he was upset was an understatement. Gabriel left the library quietly and respectfully so far until he was outside and heading to the woods between the mansion and Logan's. Only then did he begin to shake. It started in his hands and spread to arms then shoulders until there was just a silent shuddering in his body.
*
To say he was upset was an understatement. Gabriel left the library quietly and respectfully so far until he was outside and heading to the woods between the mansion and Logan's. Only then did he begin to shake. It started in his hands and spread to arms then shoulders until there was just a silent shuddering in his body.
*
Jean was not too far behind. She had tried her best, she really did. But there was a look of trepidation upon her face. She had thought to give him a moments of peace, but would she want peace in that moment? Possibly not. She'd at least want someone there for her, someone to hold on to and to give her a kind word. But Jean was incapable of lying, but she was capable of being there when the time arrived. Which is now.
She stops as she sees him shake, the silent shuddering that has her rushing forward. Intent to just keep an eye on him for now, she was upon him with her arms around his middle to keep him upright, though supported if he chooses to fall. "It's okay. I have you."
*
The first instinct is to flinch, the second is to run. Those are put aside and in order to do such, Gabriel's arms move to fall over the top of Jean's when she wraps him in her hold. He stays there for a few moments before he speaks, voice trying to remain calm and steady despite the trepidation he feels. "This is worse than we expected… isn't it?" He turns ever so slightly to look over his shoulder to her. "I have not lost my memories… they have been sealed away from me."
*
It's possibly the first time that Jean ever felt like an adult in the face of something horrible. Though that is to not discount Gabriel's actions, but to be the pillar that he needed in his time of.. fear. Despair.
"I.. didn't expect this Gabriel." Jean says quietly, urging him to keep walking, at least until they reach the patio that sat in the middle of compound used for study. "It's just a matter of who. And why? Why would someone do this to you.." She draws in a breath, there was something that the bird was keeping from her. But she was scared as well, which in turn meant that Jean was frightened. But she did not let it show. She knew that something was familiar..
"Come on.. lets sit down."
*
Gabriel does allow himself to be led by Jean towards the patio area, but his steps are slow. They are not unsteady and he is actually standing rather stoic considering the devestating revelations of the past few hours. His eyes are downcast as he moves alongside of Jean but they lift momentarily. "That is not what I am afraid of my Jean. Why would someone do this to another? The only possibilities I can think of are… that I am a person who did not deserve them." The sombering tone carries along with each footfall.
*
"Why would someone do this?"
My Jean. It was something that she would have taken notice to if she weren't so worried about him. She didn't know how to answer that, but once she's settled into the spot upon the bench, her arms reach out as to usher him down into the seat next to him. She was the affectionate sort, after all. "No one has the right to judge whether you deserve something or not as important as memories.." She faithfully states. "Though.. there must be some sort of secret that you've found out that they don't want you to remember or tell.." There was a little frown there, her gaze unsettled.
"I.. I think you need to stay here. No.. actually.." She was thinking..
*
His head shakes slowly, "Staying here… when the others who already look at me like some kind of weird outsider, when they know of this… what then?" Gabriel asks towards Jean quietly. "I am disliked and distrusted, it will only become worst when it is revealed." There's a bite on his lower lip as he settles in next to Jean on that bench and looks at his hands, past that his feet. "Maybe I could run, and hide? Try to start something over? Make new memories? I have new ones already… some that I like." He glances then, pointedly, at Jean.
*
"If the others find out, then they'll want to protect you. They won't see you as a person who's in need of babying. Or someone to look out for. They'll see you as any other person who just needs kindness and a helping hand." She nods at this. "They'll see you as a mystery like you do yourself, and they'll want you to solve it. With their help." She grins a little. "It sounds a little selfish but, I think they believe that helping people makes their lives better as well."
The thought of his running and hiding does strike a chord with her. Her own hand reaching out to place in his as he looks to them, squeezing reassuringly. "You run and this will bother you.." But her cheeks turn a little bit red.. "But.. I know who else can help us. With Charles and Ms. Emma Frost together, they can break those walls down and help you remember who you are.."
*
"But is that what is best? What if… what if we find out what I am and it is terrible?" Gabriel asks towards Jean, a frown etching his brow. "I do not wish to sound whiny, or ungrateful. But it is something that troubles me. What if we find out I am some kind of criminal, some disgusting creature. What if I was in that box for a good reason? I .." He trails off then and pushes himself up to his feet, several steps being taken in a nervous pace while his eyes glance at Jean. "You are all I know, Jean. What if we dig up my memories and you hate me?"
*
Jean listens to him. She knows that he doesn't sound whiny or ungrateful. Just worried. In fact, in the face of this small fear, she could appreciate him looking at all sides of the coin. But as she remains settled, there was that look of worry, both hands pressed against her knees as she leans forward as if she were to stand, then draws back ever so slightly. "I.. don't think you could really sway my opinion of you." Jean admits. "I already adore you. You're the most sweetest, kind person that I have ever had the pleasure of meeting." She smiles then, finally rising. "I won't hate you. You have my promise. What's done in the past is the past.. and we'll keep it there and go forward. Okay?"
*
The silence from Gabriel lasts for a long time but then he nods very slowly and turns to look at Jean. "Alright. From when you found me on? I can try that. I will try to keep what we discover from causing change. But it just makes me think maybe it'd be easier to never know. That I could just be you know this sweet person that you met. And go from there." He goes back towards the bench and sits down, looking over at the red head. "Is it terrible that I wish this was simple? That I knew what to say or ask you? To just… make this easier? There are things I want to ask, that I feel I want to ask but I don't know how or even what to ask." Realizing something, his eyes widen a bit. HE was rambling, they ramble to each other now.
*
"I don't think you'd be able to change that no matter what you've known or will know." Jean admits. There was a lightness to his smile, even as he settles again, Jean twisting herself to watch him. She doesn't even realize that he was rambling, it was just an exchange of words that she listens to, and nods whole heartedly. Unlike him? She.. well, rambles back! Things were slowly changing!
"Well no. I wish it was simple too. I wish I could ask you.. 'what do you want to do now' without you asking me what we 'should' do. Like.. I want to say, 'Hey, lets go for a walk', without you thinking of the implications of it. Or I want you to tell me what you want without me guessing or trying to get into your brain to figure it out." D'aw.. rambling!
*
Gabriel listens attentively, head tilting at points as his eyes match his expression of focus. Then he holds up his hands in a helpless shrug and blushes some. "I don't know what is right, what is appropriate." A frown grows then towards her and he drops his voice, "I don't want to upset you, or anyone else for that matter by not knowing. I know when I'm hungry, I know when I want to just run, or when I want to scream. When I want to just sit and listen to you or when…" He blushes just barely as his eyes avert. "This is just a matter of not knowing. But you'll help me learn."
*
"Well, all you have to do is ask, really." She reaches out to take his hand, pulling it into her lap as she slips closer. Now they were shoulder to shoulder, their hands the joining along with the touching of their shoulders, her gaze falling away to rest upon the grass. "I have an idea." She says, after all.
"I'll help you learn, but you have to ask. Like.. if you want to know something, no matter what it is, just ask. I'll bring you tons of books to read too. And if you have a question, ask! If I can't answer it, we'll just figure it out together. And if we don't know, we just don't know."
*
Gabe is quiet for a bit, "Why do I think of you, even when I should be concerned about these other things? It's been only a short time since you found me, but yet I am … You are most of my thoughts. It should not be such." Which he's right about, of sorts. He settles in a bit more, shoulder to her shoulder, hand in her lap and looking at Jean trying not to look embarrassed and managing. "Should I not be focused on other things?"
*
"I.. don't know." Jean answers honestly, blushing. She couldn't even look to him right now, her gaze remaining leveled, planted upon the grass. But her hand squeezes his tightly, as her shoulders lift faintly. "You said that.. I am the only thing you know, right?" She finally looks to him then, then away. "Maybe that's why." And yet, she still smiles, her head nodding slightly. "Yes, I mean, it's okay to think of a person, to focus on a person and focus on other things. Our minds are great that way. We can worry about other things while worrying about others. And I'm sure, when you meet more people, you'll focus on them too."
*
"Oh, I see. That… that makes sense." Gabriel affirms and nods slowly towards her. He seems a bit hesitant, his emotions feeling disappointed for some reason, but also relieved. How can he feel both relieved and disappointed over that. "I guess then that I just need to meet more people?" There's no eye contact, he continues to look away now, awkwardly for a few moments until he stands up abruptly, taking a few steps before looking up to the sky in silence.
*
"Well.. yes." Jean says, contemplating staying seated for a while before she stands behind him. She takes a little step closer, her head tilting slightly. "Everyone needs friends. I mean, one or two. If I could just keep you to myself, I would." She smiles faintly. "What if you want to do something I don't want to do, and you want to be with someone instead of me? Like.." She takes a step closer, reaching out to grab his hand so that she could go around him.
"Say, you want to go and get some beers. But I don't drink alcohol much like that. And you immediately think of Logan, because Logan loves beers. You ask him, and he'll go with you." She nods faintly, hoping she's explaining that well. "Friends."
*
His hands taken again by Jean, Gabriel finds himself looking down at her with a warm smile, it just comes to his lips so easily when she does those things. If he knew how goofy it was, he'd probably slap himself, but he doesn't know yet. "Oh, so you meant you want me to know people to do things with, as long as you don't want to do them with me?" Gabriel asks before he moves some, arms almost slipping around Jean at her waist. "I feel like you do not want me to be apart, to be away."
*
The smile was met with one of her own. And a reddening of cheeks. He was so.. well…
Though, his question does gain him an odd look, one eye squinted, the other looking up towards the sky before he scoops her against him, which makes her break out into a light laugh. "Sort of! Or like, if you get tired of talking to me and you want to talk to someone else! Or.. if you don't want to do things with me either, because I'm either smothering you or need some space." Though, he has a point, her smile fading just a little. "No. I don't." Her shoulders lift in an apologetic shrug. "You make me feel like I'm important."
*
"You are important." Gabriel says quietly. "You are the only person I know, the only person I trust… my only friend…" The last has him trailing off before he adds, "And I think that even if I knew everyone possible, I might still think that way. So yes, you are very important, to me." His shoulders lift a bit and he takes a nice calming breath. "I am grateful for you Jean. You help me cope with this."
*
There were really no words that would compact with his. There was no question to answer, no soft rebuttal, no lesson to be taught. Heck, she couldn't even babble. He kind of spoke poetry. Kind of. But they both were a bunch of emotionally dumb, bumbling idiots among the most put together sort. But that just sounded really pretty to her.
"Thank you." She says quietly, at least completing the half hug he holds upon her with a hug of her own. "That really means a lot to me."
*
"I did not mean it to. It was just what I was thinking." Gabe offers but certainly doesn't reject the hug or the sentiments beyond that. After a few moments he speaks further. "Should we head back to the cabin? I will need to eat soon I think and spend some time thinking over what we have learned today. Despite this all, I am still very nervous."
*
"Those are good thoughts." Jean says quietly. "Sometimes, it's good to say them aloud. The good ones. You never really know if the other person needs to hear it, or if they're feeling sad." She hugs him tighter, then slowly steps away, both hands soon shoved into her pockets. "Yes. I'll walk you to the cabin and prepare you a meal. But then I have to go, there are a few things I need to take care of today."
*
Gabe opens his mouth to say something but stops, nodding his head. "Yes, of course." He manages to make a smile and then he starts to slowly lead his way towards the path that leads to Logan's cabin where he stays. "What would you like to do, the next time we are able to do such together?"
*
Jean frowns a little, "What were you going to say?" She wasn't going to let that one go easily, even if she couldn't read his mind. But she walks with him instead, his question giving her a great deal of thought. "Well, I wouldn't mind you meeting some friends of mine. Maybe we can have a picnic in the park, before it gets really, really cold."
*
"Oh, It just… I forget that you have other things to do than me." Gabriel says with a bit of an embarrassed look. "It was a reminder is all that there are things that are going on besides just me. That is all." He shrugs a little, embarrassed from the self focus. "Meeting people would be good. But how are you going to introduce me to them? As the person you found in a box?"
*
"Oh.. I mean.. you'll have that someday too.." Jean stammers out. She could feel his embarrasment, but does nothing to reassure him. "Uh.. you could come with me if you like?" Her shoulders shrug faintly though, his words were a damn good question. Just how in the world was she going to introduce him? "Uh.. I'll say.. 'Hi! This is Gabriel. Gabriel.. meet..' or something like that." She didn't know if she should call him a friend, she.. rather adores him.
*
Gabriel nods his head to Jean and smiles, "That should work by way of introducing me. It makes a lot more sense than to simply say 'This is a man I found in a box.'" It's a really weak attempt at a joke and he pauses to give her a gentle nudge mid step, slowly falling to a stop. "No, I don't need to come with you. You need to continue life right?"
*
"Yes! I mean, I can't tell everyone that I met you because you fell out of a box naked. Do you know how many looks that would give us?" The little gentle nudge has her laughing, a laugh that carries off with a few snorts, her hands reaching up to pinch her nose shut until her giggling passes on. "Yes. I need to continue life.. but it doesn't hurt for you to be in it. Does it?" But she wasn't going to fight, she just continues on towards the cabin. "Soon, you'll be leaving me behind. And you know what? That'll be okay. I'll always be here when you return."
*
"Why would I leave you behind?" Gabriel asks Jean, sounding very confused by that. "I do not intend to leave you behind, or depart, unless you wish me to." He looks at her, following along now with a furrowed brow.
*
"Well, like what I said before? When you have friends. And you want to do something I don't want to do with those friends. And you guys go off, do whatever it is you want. And when you come back, I will be here." She was counting on her fingers for some odd reason, then glances back towards him. "And I won't wish you to depart. Unless I want some alone time.." She frowns a little. "..sometimes my powers act up, and it's best that I'm alone when they do. Just so I don't hurt anyone, or try to."
*
"I am afraid that I might hurt someone, but I will not be that afraid to stay away I think. Unless we find out I need to, I guess. But until that time, I do not want to be away. To go off and do whatever I want. And I do not want you to be afraid of hurting me." Gabriel now, it is his turn, to reach out to take Jean's hand into his own and hold it while walking towards the cabin.
*
"Don't be silly. I don't think you'll stay away even if you need to." When he takes her hand, she holds it tight, taking that moment to lean against his arm, soon drawing it around her shoulder as she laces her own around his waist. "Okay. You asked for it, buddy. Don't be all bitchy when you wake up pinned to the wall or the bed flying in middair.." And then, she continues to babble. Probably recounting one of the times she set off alarms in the mental hospital. It's.. all rather silly sounding!
*