1963-11-26 - Advice from Stark
Summary: Tony, once again, tries to get Pepper to stop being so hard on herself.
Related: http://marvel1963mush.wikidot.com/log:1963-11-20-chaos-and-commies-in-stark-industries
Theme Song: None
pepper tony 


It's late. Tony's done his best to make certain Pepper doesn't drown in work in the office, but she has no one to go home to. No *reason* to go home, and no apartment that is functional anyway. But, with all the elevators out, maybe that's best. It's a pain to get upstairs. Most of the working offices have been moved to the first ten floors so people can take the stairs while the elevator repair work continues.

So, that's where Pepper is now, in the lobby, at midnight, supervising repair crews. She's still in her suit from the day and her eyes are red but dry. One can only cry privately in corners for so long, or half sleep for so long. For Pepper, it's been one of the best and worst years of her life. Professionally? By far the best. She's in a job she can make a difference. Personally? She cannot imagine a worse year.

So, she tries to organize. "…Do you boys need coffee? I know the 24 hour work day isn't great, when is the next shift coming in? We just can't let these lifts be down any longer than humanly possible…" Pepper calls to the construction crew. They sort of grumble in her direction. No one enjoys having a woman on site.

*

Tony isn't blind to what Pepper's doing. He saw hints of this with the whole Dracula thing and this behavior isn't much of a surprise. His own erratic hours allow him to see this and while he's been busy with some of the architects and engineers trying to repair (and update) the building, he hasn't forgotten Pepper. He steps in, moving to her side, and glances over the worksite. "You know…if you got some sleep, you'd probably start feeling a little better. I mean, not that you don't have reason to feel terrible because who knew that your mild-mannered janitor was really a homicidal maniac, right?" That probably isn't helping.

Changing subjects. "Anything specific you want in your new place? Two bathrooms? A Sauna? Balcony? Conversation pit?" There's a pause, "Until it's done, why don't you stay in my place?"

*

The woman might not even be hearing him, Pepper doesn't look over to him for the first few moments, until he makes the comment about her boyfriend being a maniac. That earns him a quiet glare over her shoulder, a look of slight betrayal and hurt. She doesn't even verbally fight back. It just hurt to hear. No, it isn't helping. She says nothing more about it and looks back to the crews who have ignored her offer of coffee. Probably because she just brought them coffee an hour ago (the excuse she used to be here) and they actually need to get work done.

The other questions, slightly more reasonable and even kind, get a slightly shaky sigh from her. Pepper just gives a small shake of her head, "No…you know me. I…I don't need anything special. Just a roof and a couch, Tony. Really, that's it. And…I'm not putting you out. Besides, not all of us have a fancy suit to *fly* up to your place. I'm not hiking up sixty floors of stairs to get there every night. I… set up a little cot in the temp offices. That's fine. I'll sleep when I'm tired."

*

"Please don't make me knock you out so you get some sleep, Pepper…" is Tony actually even considering that? "Concussions aren't good things." He reaches to take her lightly by the arm, "Come on. Let these nice guys do their work, ok? If you want some coffee, we can get some, but I think you and your liver would be better off without it right now."

She does have a point about his place and where it's situated in the building. "I can lend you my suit…" he might be almost serious. "Come on, Pepper. At least take my office? There's a bed and a bathroom and I can bring you some clothes and stuff…"

*

"…I haven't been drinking, Tony. That is generally your job between us." Wow, Pepper is in an AWFUL mood. She's so rarely that snappy, especially when she has been so proud of him lately. She's said that too. She's just run ragged, heartbroken, and probably lashing out at anyone near because misery loves company. A heartbeat later, she realizes how mean that was and she takes in a slow breath. "…sorry. You didn't deserve that. You've… been a hell of a lot better lately. I'm sorry." She means that just as much as the cold words a minute ago.

She lets him take her by the arm, stepping away from the crew that is probably relieved to see her go. They know how to do this job way better than she does. She's more business, less construction. She sighs at the question about his office. "Your office is no lower down, Tony. And…I can't use your suit. I'd probably blow something up. I…I can get a hotel, when I need it. God knows you pay me enough." She gives with a little, half hiccuping laugh.

*

Again, she has a point. "I could build you a jet pack?" Now, that -is- said in jest. Tony doesn't seem bothered by her snapping. Maybe he's used to those words coming from…almost everyone else, or maybe he knows she's upset. Or right. Or all of that. "I'm paying for your hotel. Well, the Insurance is. And you -do- need one and pronto. I've seen this before, Pepper. I was there when you came back from Dracula that first time."

He doesn't let go of her arm. In fact, he tries to pull her a little closer as if into a hug. "Tell me what you need, Pepper. A Vacation, a Boy toy, a good long scream, a truckload of ice cream…it's your's."

*

It's impossible to be mad at Tony when he's sweet. For as selfish, wild and thoughtless as he can be — and god knows he can ABSOLUTELY be all of those things — he's also remarkably good at just being caring when he wants to be. Pepper's managed to hold most of her ragged, destroyed emotions back in the face of no one really caring. They just expect her to carry on and work, as she always does. But when he pulls her into his chest, she can't quite fight it any more. Slowly, her smaller, softer frame sinks in against him, head resting next to that glowing heart of his.

It's not continuous, but a slow, ragged sort of sob catches her breath as she leans there. She's trying so hard not to cry. She's failing. "…I just need to go back to… Saturday. God… Tony… I'm..so good at work… why… Why am I so bad at… everything else?" She rasps out.

*

Tony just holds Pepper for as long as she needs it…he may not be so caring about other relationships in his life, but Pepper is different. She always has been. "You wouldn't be able to stop what happened, Pepper. And, I hate to say it, he might have been using you to get into this place. To get whatever it was he rampaged for. We almost had him, Captain America and I, but he was good. Really good. People like that…they don't let their guards down for even special people like you. You're too good for him."

*

The thought of him using her was even worse, but after a heartbeat or two, she shakes her head faintly. "N-no…I mean…maybe it started like that? I don't know. But…he came and got me. From Dracula. From that mess. I…I knew he could do that stuff because he did it with those creatures and god, it was terrifying, and yes… he's good. Frighteningly so. But… he used it to protect me. He didn't have to do that. I just don't know why now. I…don't understand." Pepper whispers faintly, against the softness of his shirt. That probably makes it even worse, simply not knowing WHY. Just being left alone with a burned apartment and empty bed. A few more silent tears soak into the fabric of his expensive buttondown.

*

"Sometimes people go to extreme lengths, Pepper…" and Tony would have tried to save her as well except he didn't know she was missing until she got back. "If not now, it would have happened eventually. What if you two took it further? What if you were married…and had a kid or something…and then this happened? Wouldn't that be worse?" A hand tries to lightly rub her back, "I know you cared for him, Pepper, but…nice people don't try to kill people." And he definitely tried.

*

What does she say to that? Pepper knows he's right, no matter how much her brain and heart are screaming in denial. She knows. So she just nods mutely, her head turning, face burying against him as she tries to drown a few of those ragged breaths that come. She won't sob in his arms again. She's done that too often this year. But she can't stop quiet tears. One of her small, slender arms comes up, wrapping around his waist, tugging him just a touch closer. Finally, after what seems like far too long a time and a quite dampened shirt, she whispers quietly, "…what do I do now? You…should fire me, you know… for bringing a man like that in here…"

*

Tony will step in as she pulls him closer and just continue to hold her. When she finally starts talking again, he glances down at her, "Now? Now you need to rest. And pamper yourself. And eat ice cream or drink. Or both. Together." Hmmm, that could be a new trend! There's a bit of a grin, "Fire you? Not gonna happen. First of all, I can't blame you for hiring a pretty face. I've done so more than enough times and that's pretty much all they have." The steno pool has a high rate of turnover. "Secondly, you didn't hire him knowing that he'd break the building. Thirdly, it gives me a chance to do some updating." His grin widens, "And when you're ready, you can start thinking about what you want your new place to look like. The sooner that happens the sooner we can get it ready for you again."

*

Someone else making the plans for her, even if they aren't plans she's all that good at following, does help a little. Pepper pulls back enough to look up to him with those puffy red eyes, her free hand still resting over that glow of his heart, keeping the closer connection there because she needs something to be a touchstone or she might actually start screaming and just not stop. It's been that hellish of a year. She swallows back against her tight throat as she watches his handsome face.

"…I…I mean it, Tony. I don't need anything special…J-just…Just make it like it was before. I'm not fancy. I just… I'm me… And… work *is* pampering myself, generally…" Pepper has a poor idea of what self care means.

*

There's a little sigh as Pepper looks up to him and he reaches out to brush some of that bright hair from her face. Sometimes it just sucks to be the nice, friendzoned guy. But now certainly isn't the time to be gushy or emotional. Not for him. "All right, pink it is. And if you don't take some time off, I will physically carry you to a remote spa that doesn't have any telephones and pick you up in two weeks."

*

"…I'll go crazy there, Tony. You know I will. I'll drive the staff nuts in two days and they'll be begging you to take me back." Pepper offers with a crackled little laugh, even if it's not a joke. She really would go nuts being stuck with only her head and 'relaxing' things. Instinctively, her head does tilt into the brush of his fingertips. Trusting. She can trust him, entirely. Probably the only person in the world right now and that means so much. Her fingertips squeeze against his lower ribs, a gentle touch of gratitude and need at the same moment.

*

Tony would normally be more than happy to take advantage of such a moment, but this is Pepper. "Ok, but you need to take some time. Even if it's a couple of days. I'll put you up at the…" he has to thing a moment, "Waldorf-Astoria. You're going to get a personal stylist to take you shopping. You'll get a personal chef to bring you meals." Before she protests, he offers, "It'll just be for a couple of days. I want you to try and sleep."

*

A bittersweet smile crosses her lips, even if she still looks like sleep isn't the most thrilling thing to her. And it is late. No one was going to be up to give her a massage this time of night. She finally remembers who she is, who THEY are, and shakily pulls back. Holding onto him so tight was probably not good for a secretary. Now with a free hand, she reaches the base of her palm up to her eyes and carefully pushes away the moisture on her cheeks. "…I am…so sorry, Tony. I've…got to look a mess. Sleep is just… hard. I dunno.. maybe I need to try pills or something." It's the 60s. Pills are great for everything!

*

"Yeah, you do," Tony isn't going to beat around the bush, "But you have good reason. I know sleep is hard, but going insane because you refuse to sleep is even harder. It happens, you know. Like, it's a real thing." He can even spout the medical reasons for it if that will help. "Take some pills if you need to. I promise that if you get some sleep, you'll feel a little better." Not great, but at least a little.

*

Another hand rubs across her face, tiredly, trying to debate through going to a hotel and being alone or humbling herself and actually taking him up on his offer of his place. Pepper looks torn for a few heartbeats, even if he might not realize why. She just gives him a quiet nod, finally, "…you're right…I know…" Pepper might never say that again to Tony! But she's said it now. She just sighs and leans forward, her head resting on his shoulder again, not in a crying way but in a totally exhausted, mind and soul way. "…maybe I'll take your couch tonight…find a hotel in the morning."

*

Too bad there aren't people to bear witness to the fact that he was right! For once! He'll even try not to blatantly revel in those two words. It may come up another time when they're arguing over something, but for now he lets it quietly go. He'll gloat later. Tony blinks as her forehead rests on his shoulder but he nods, "You'll get more than the couch, Pepper. You deserve at least that. I'll have the hotel set up for you when you wake up. Need me to go find some sleeping pills for you?" Surely someone might have them and be open, right?

*

"…Dunno. Maybe." Pepper pulls her head back with a weak smile and looks up to him, "…is it weird of me to… be kinda proud you don't have'em on hand? They're not good for you. I'm glad you don't use'em." But Pepper is really considering it now. Exhaustion is all too evident in her features now that she's cried it out and found some level of safety or stability in his arms. It's bad when someone is going to Tony Stark for stability, but that's her life now. "…I will need a ride up, though. If I have to take those stairs, I think I'll be takin' a nap somewhere on the 15th floor."

*

"They don't mix well with the booze and I sort of like staying, you know, alive." Tony may drink like a fish, but he's not stupid. "Oh, I was definitely planning on giving you a ride up…and down in the morning. Unless you want to walk down, in which case, more power to you." There's even a lopsided sort of grin. "Come on. Let me get the suit on and then I'll put you to bed. If you want some booze to help, you can have it, and I'll get you those pills in the morning."

*

"…Sounds like a smart idea. When'd you get so smart?" Pepper asks with a drowsy sort of hiccuping chuckle. But at least she's smiling. And she looks a little steadier and more sane than she did an hour ago, so this is definitely progress. She reaches her hand up to his shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze, "…thank you, Tony. You…you're better to me than any boss should be, you know? Hell, than any friend should be…"

*

"Eh…birth," is offered to the first question. "I got lucky." Tony then smirks and glances at his shoulder as it's squeezed, "Well, you're the best Secretary I've ever had. It's not like I could easily replace you, so…gotta do what I can to make sure you stay." Or something. Because she just got dumped by a two-faced murderer and her apartment was blown up. Now isn't the time to say anything more.

*

"…Mmph… still… Thanks, Tony. Really." One more squeeze to his shoulder and she gently lets him go so he can get that suit and they can head up. She may actually sleep tonight, a miracle in and of itself.

*

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