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And with Crystal's exit, Medusa and Blackagar are left alone on the island. The redheaded woman is studying Blackagar expectantly, letting the tropical breeze stir her hair as she studies him. "You wished to speak with me?" she inquires softly.
*
Blackagar inclines his head at Medusa and starts to walk to the cliffside where he lowers himself down and sits with feet hanging over the edge to look off of it. The motion he gave was an invitation and his posture and mind reflect the same. «It's not your fault you know. It's me.»
*
Medusa obligingly moves to take a seat next to him. The breeze is stronger here, and cooler, so her hair unfurls like a banner to serve as something of a windbreaker for them both. She lets out a soft laugh. "You know, I've had an opportunity over the years to witness how humans interact. 'It's not you, it's me.' is something one says to another when they wish to part ways."
*
Blackagar's chest lifts in what would be a laugh, were he to make sounds. «That is not where this is going. I am simply stating that there are a lot of things I am working through. I was fully prepared to just live, away from all of this. I feel… odd that I have feelings I suppose.»
*
"Why is that odd?" Medusa seems gnuinely surprised. "There is still human in Inhuman. Of course you have feelings. No one ever expected otherwise. The point of your learning control wasn't to suppress them, but to be able to deal with them in a way that would allow you to do so safely." There's a pause. "What kind of feelings are you having?"
*
At that Blackagar shakes his head a bit and then glances at Medusa and then back to the water. «Did you .. meet anyone during the years apart? Anyone that caught your interest?»
*
She lets out a sigh. "No one…important. Not really. Flirtation, perhaps interest. But you were always in the back of my mind." She shifts her seated position so she's looking at her profile. "There's something I think you don't understand. It has been almost ten years since we've seen each other, but I don't think you realized that what I felt for you has been within me since we were children. Yes, our fate was arranged for us, but that never troubled for me. I learned how to understand you. A flick of your finger, a dart of your eyes, a twitch at the corner of your mouth, and I know exactly what you're saying. Do you know how intimately one must come to know a person to do that?" She purses her lips together. "But it feels now like you take it for granted. We argue, you want distance, to 'get to know each other'. You want us to operate with human expectations between us, but want the chains of our traditions in all over things. I may be able to understand what you say, but I don't know what you want anymore. I thought perhaps I could find a way for you to be king without any bloodshed, if I didn't matter to you any longer."
*
«It is not that I want distance. Or really time. I just… In a similar way there was flirtation, interest.. feelings. I have struggled with how to express this to you, this fact that while we apart, even though I did nothing I considered doing things. That… it is very confusing to me Medusa. It is not like I was given a lot of chance to learn how to interact with people afterall.» He pauses then for a long moment before glancing at her. «Is it really for the best that someone who has no real talent for dealing with people be leading them?»
*
"You had ten years." Medusa reminds him gently. "It's not as if you weren't trained from the time you were exposed to the Mists." The corner of her mouth purses. "Did it not occur to you that one of the reasons we were paired was for us to be a partnership? You are not in this alone. You never were, but I couldn't seem to make that clear to you."
*
«Even with those years, I sought solitude.» Blackagar responds to Medusa, still looking out over the ocean. «I didn't even share my name with but a handful of people in my travels before I settled into the mountains for peace and learning.» His chest lifts again, like it would be a sigh. «It is one thing to say I am not alone, it is another to not feel alone.»
*
"I don't know how else to make you understand that." she says frankly. "What do you want, Blackagar? Because as much as I know you, as well as I know how to be your voice, your desires have eluded me."
*
«I want to not be the only one to make decisions all the time.» His eyes glance over at Medusa, eyebrow quirking to indicate he means her. «I'd like for you to make your desires, what you want, known as well rather than always expecting me to be the one to express them.»
*
"I have done nothing but express my desires." Medusa insists. "And it feels as if you have kept me at arm's length, and that I have had to beg for any semblance of affection or desire for you." She leans back, regarding him askance. "When Crystal and I have tried to convince you of a particular path, you grow angry. When we try to participate in decision making, you make a point of reminding us who is king. You're the one who insisted we try to re-learn who we are to each other. Make up your mind. Do you want me as your wife, your queen, the mother of your children? Will we rule Attilan together? Because these are all the things I ever wanted, and I am tired of fighting with you."
*
«Has it occurred to you that perhaps I don't know what I want? That I went from one life to another in a matter of days without any time to prepare or transition? I have spent a decade away from this only to be thrust back into it. I know you want things to just be the way they were supposed to be. But I do not think it works that way. I'm not the same person I was ten years ago. And neither are you.»
*
"You just said you wanted me to express my desires." Medusa's hair begins to writhe in reflection of her frustration. "I told you, and now you chide me for it." She gestures haplessly. "We are an impasse." she declares. Moving to get to her feet. "Why don't I just go to Attilan and offer myself to Maximus in exchange for giving you the throne? At least I know how he feels, insane as he might be, and it would take him out of power."
*
«Why don't you and your sister just go relenquish to him and rule as you both see fit alongside Maximus, since it is clear that is what you want.» Blackagar's own frustration nearly boiling over. He casts his eyes at the woman before pushing himself up off the ground as well. «What you want is the city, you could care less about how it happens. You could care less about me.»
*
Her hair stops writhing and does this…thing, coiling up and straightening but so fast that it cracks the air around it like a bullwhip. "If that was what we wanted, we would have done it without you. We wanted you. I gave my heart to you! But you're the one who's fought every step, you've kept me at arm's length. You don't want me, I cannot force you to love me. But you are king of Attilan, not Maximus."
*
«I am king of nothing.» Blackagar counters to Medusa. «And if you both had wanted me…» He just turns and shakes his head, going to the edge of the water and looking out across the ocean. «You do not understand. When every decision you make is a mistake, then how can you be expected to be a ruler? It is not logical.»
*
"Until you decide what you want to do one way or another, there is nothing more I can offer you." Medusa says. "I don't know what you want, you claim you don't know what you want, and then you grow angry at me because I never knew to begin with. You complain that your decisions are bad, and that we do not help you, but when we offer council you chide us and remind us you are king. I don't think the problem is Crystal, or me. Find a narrative and stick to it, Blackagar. Coward or king."
*
Blackagar's eyes shoot towards Medusa then, fury in them. Cold hard fury. «Leave my sight.» His attention then goes back to the ocean, to the solace he finds there.
*
"Close your eyes, and you won't see me." Medusa counters. "Turn your back, as you have done for a decade. There is no love in you. Not for me, not for Attilan, not for yourself."
*
«You're right. There is no love in me, it's beens squashed clean away.» Blackagar snaps back at Medusa, turning to face her now and taking a purposeful stride. «Do you want to see how little love I don't have anymore? For anything? Ask me to and I'll simply rip this planet into two. Would that make you feel good? To finally get to feel even more high and mighty? To feel more perfect? Do you not know what it is to be broken over and over again? That it takes a toll? You want to speak of no love? You have no sympathy. I find kindness from strangers more so. You and your sister… just… you want to just use me to get what you want.»
*
"Sympathy. You want sympathy." she echoes. "You left us. We needed you. I needed you. And you left us! Do I want to go home? Of course I want to go home, but I want to go home with you! The things I did over the years to survive, becoming a criminal, losing myself because of my anger and abandoning my own sister because I didn't know how to escape my own pain…and when we found you, I've been trying, desperatly trying to be what you need. Do you know what it is to have the person you have carried in your heart tell you they don't love you anymore? Tell me what you want, but if you don't know, don't resent me for not knowing either. What do you want from me? Me, Medusa? Just me?!"
*
«What part of I don't know do you not understand?» Blackagar repeats again. «Do you not get this? I have lived alone, in the mountains, for the better part of a decade and you expect me to, like a switch, flip over and change immediately? How about some acknowledgement that this is difficult for me? How about that for starters?»
*
"Is that all you want?" Medusa replies wearily. "For us to acknowledge that this is difficult for you? I'm sorry we haven't in a way that satisfies you. It's a difficult time for all of us." She lifts a hand, lets it fall, and just sinks to the ground, on her knees and looking away from him.
*
«It is time you accept, I am not who you want me to be. I am not who you think I should be.» Blackagar says after long moments of silence. «I am sorry that I cannot meet your expectations of perfection, for I am not. You would have been better off to leave me in that village for the eternity I had planned of solitude. I am not your King. That man is long dead. He died when his parents died. Go find your sister. Tell her it is over. That I am returning to the village where you drug me up. At least that way… that way you will be able to move on. Because I cannot continue this endless circle. You may hear the words I speak but you do not understand me.»
*
Medusa rises to her feet, not bothering to hide the complete and utter look of betrayal and hurt on her face, literally flinching at the last of them. Her hands tighten into fists, and then without a word, she turns away. "Lockjaw!" she calls out, striding away from Blackagar. "Take me home."