|
  |
Duke is in the far end of the scrap yard, felling trees, when Coz comes loping up to him. It's late, the sky is dark and the moon is low. Coz barks imperiously, his breath curling in the icy air.
"Oh? I'm coming." Duke buries the axe in a stump while he pulls on his flannel shirt. He retrieves the axe, then follows the dog up to the garage. Liv's motorcycle is parked out front and she's sprawled on one of his couches, her face hidden under a tangle of her pale blonde hair. Duke hangs the axe up on its pegs before he goes to check on her.
"Liv?" He crouches down by the couch and gently smooths back her hair. "It's cold. You can't sleep in the cold."
*
"I slept fine in Bastogne." Liv's response might sound more haughty and impressive if she wasn't saying it into the sofa cushion, which muffles the words into near-indecipherableness.
Reluctantly, Liv turns her head, but otherwise remains sprawled right where she is. She looks absolutely miserable.
"Tell me you had a good day," Liv says flatly. "Please."
*
"I fought too many poltergeists and shot a radio and a car. But a green woman helped me out and she'll be around, I think. She's new here. But it doesn't matter." Duke kisses her forehead. "Whatever it was, it's good now. It was just a day before. But you're sad, so maybe it's not good."
Coz hangs his head over the arm of the couch and whines mournfully.
"Do you want to be less sad?"
*
The kiss to her forehead gives Liv some pause. Or maybe it's the details of Duke's day, all poltergeists and green women.
No, it was definitely the kiss.
"I would love to be less sad," Liv mumbles, and grudgingly, she pushes herself up to kneel on the sofa. It makes it easier for her to reach over and ruffle Coz's ears with both of her hands.
*
"We could go for a drive." Duke straightens up but he strokes Liv's hair again, then tucks it behind her ear before kissing the top of her head. "I made you something. Well. I thought of something." He walks over to clean Tex off while he speaks. "And I made something. But they go together. It's a present only I don't have anything to actually give you so I suppose…it's a gift, but not one you can hold. You can keep it, though."
Tex's headlights light up and it rumbles to life. It sounds quite happy at the moment, if it's possible to tell the difference. Coz is excited at the idea of going for a drive. He barks at Liv, tail wagging madly. Yes, let's go in the car!
*
Liv looks almost wary as she slides to her feet, peering after Duke with an odd expression on her face. He made something. A present that she cannot hold, but she can keep. And it involves a ride in Tex. There are only so many options here, and this leaves her feeling a bit flustered.
"I don't… are you sure?" Liv asks slowly, giving Coz a brief look before she takes a few hesitant steps towards the car.
*
"If you want to go, I'm sure. While I remember this time. I should have remembered before. I'll be right back." Duke disappears down into the bunker and is gone for a minute or two.
Downstairs, at his desk, he's been working on something — it's almost complete. He shrugs into his jacket and tucks a pen into one pocket, a bottle of pitch-black ink into another. There's something wrapped in an oiled cloth that he picks up and tucks into a gold box. It's not terribly big but it does look old and priceless. He's had the box since he doesn't remember when. The contents, he's been working on for the last month. He returns, taking the stairs two at a time, and stops only to grab a carrier from the fridge that has six bottles of his latest batch of beer in it.
"One more thing." He puts the beer in Tex's trunk, then gets a shovel that he drops in next to the beer. Tex's trunk thumps shut of its own accord. "I'll get you a treat when we're back," Duke promises.
*
While Duke fetches what he needs, Liv just waits next to the passenger door, still looking wary and uncertain. But of course she'll go. It's Duke. When he asks, she always goes. Hell, when Tex asks, she always goes.
Liv peers suspiciously at Duke when he makes his way back but, predictably, she eases the passenger door open in order to climb in. "I don't know what you three are planning," she whispers to the car. "But whatever happens when we get there, we are never speaking of this. Do you understand me?"
*
"If you want." Duke slides into the driver's seat. His expression is mild. He puts the box in his lap, then takes a map out of the glove compartment. Whatever it's folded to show, it's not New York City. There's a red circle on it. He drops it on top of the box in his lap, then pats the steering wheel to get Tex moving. "We can speak or not speak about anything. You know that." He doesn't make any other comment as he pulls out of the garage. There's a brief stop to let Coz hop out and close the gate, then they're driving again.
It's cold but the night is clear. There's little traffic and they make it to the nearest freeway without incident.
"You're the one who knows where we're going for sure," he tells Tex. Coz barks in his ear, hanging his head over the back of the seat. "And you, too, but you aren't driving." Duke offers Liv his hand. "Ready?"
*
Liv hadn't meant for Duke to hear that. Only Tex. But she stands by it, even if she looks extra-flustered now. She tugs the door shut and buckles up, peering down at the map with mild curiosity when Duke retrieves it. But it's less interesting than the box. Hrrrrnh.
"Honestly? Not really," Liv sighs, reaching over to take Duke's hand. "But let's go all the same."
*
They're already driving the speed limit on the freeway when Duke puts his foot down and Tex's engine roars. They pass the hundred-mile-per-hour mark, the world blurs and stretches, and then shreds entirely. Duke has one hand on the wheel, and one hand on Liv's, he keeps them driving steadily as they plunge through a narrow canyon of cold green fire that clings to Tex even as they take a long, slow curve that leads them into somewhere indigo where the sky is below them and the road is above them — the cobblestone road set with skulls — and then they're through and the planes coalesce and shred around them over and over until at last they are speeding through a dry gully under a blue-black sky studded with stars.
Tex slows, Coz pants quietly in the back seat, the wipers flick on to clear a few stray ashes of the damned from the windshield. Duke is quiet as Tex comes to a halt, then he looks at the stars.
"I think we're here."
*
This is not the first time Liv's gone for a drive in Tex. It's been a long time, perhaps, but she actually seems quite calm when the car speeds up and everything outside is replaced by green fire. This is, quite possibly, the most normal thing she has experienced all week.
When they finally roll to a stop, Liv just gives Duke a quietly amused look and lightly squeezes his hand. "I suppose we'd better get out and check, shouldn't we?" she sighs, reaching down to undo her safety belt. "Come on, then."
*
"If Tex says it's right, then it's right." Duke gets out of the car, map and box in hand, then goes to get the shovel out of the trunk. "We tried it a couple times, we came out here each time. It matches what I found in what was left in one of my books."
It really is nowhere. There's scrub and stone and sand, distant hills, and the stars. The wind is cool and wild, like before a storm but there's no rain coming. Not here. It's dry as bone. There's five large stones, the cracked remains of an outcropping, and Duke heads that way.
"Come on," he says, leading the way into the meager shelter of the stones.
*
A whole lot of nothing and scrub is not what Liv had been expecting. The fact that they apparently need to do something now that they're here, though - that follows.
Liv casts a look up towards the stars, absently hugging her suit jacket closed around herself, then drops her chin and trudges along in Duke's wake. The stones get a curious look, her brow furrowed.
"Where exactly are we?"
*
"I think this is where I go after I die," Duke says, as though that's perfectly normal. He leans on the shovel, box propped against his hip, watching her while the wind plays with his hair. The moon is high enough that it washes everything in a white, milky glow. Liv can see him almost as clearly as though it was day.
"I didn't want you to lose me, if you didn't want to. So we looked for it. It matches some of what I wrote about and Tex remembered how to get here, and Coz. They were here before — they always find me. So. I wanted you to come, in case you lost them, too."
*
That actually makes Liv stop. She blinks slowly and gives the stars a much more thoughtful look, immediately seeking out any constellations in order to try and figure out, geographically, where the hell they actually are. The outback? American southwest? Only so many places look like this.
"…oh. I see. That's… thank you." Liv takes a breath and looks over to offer Duke a very small smile, arms still hugging her jacket shut. "Maybe I should leave something here, so you can find me if it happens again?"
*
"I have a map. This place, they call it the Sonoran Desert. And this." Duke jams the shovel in the earth so he can open the box and unwrap what's in there. A new journal — already filled. "I wrote down everything I could find," he says, coming over to her. Tex rumbles closer, headlights up to make it easier to see. He lifts the journal out and gives it to her.
"The next blank page is there, where the bookmark is, there are a few left. I brought a pen, and ink. You can write in it if you want," he offers. "I thought you'd want to yell at me for being dead, at least. And anything else you wanted me to know for sure." He gives her a little smile. "I don't want to forget again. Coz will remind me where to dig." Coz whines, butting against Duke's knee.
*
Sonoran Desert, okay, Liv knows where that is. She has half a mind, after the day she's had, to pick a direction and just start walking in order to really narrow it down more precisely. Maybe the time away would do her some good. Surely noone at SHIELD could give her a bad time if she was 'dropped off' in the middle of nowhere. Shit happens.
Without thinking, Liv reaches out to accept the journal and blinks twice, peering down at it. "This… you really want me to write in here?" she asks, giving Duke a very uncertain look. "Duke. That is a lot of trust to put in me. Are you really sure?"
*
"Yes." Duke takes the pen and the ink out of his pockets, offers her the pen, then opens the ink. He pauses to look at her, shaking his hair out of his face as the wind tugs it around. "You…you are already written in me. I just can't remember. I want you to put it on the paper, so when I come back, I see it. Every time. I always want to see it. I never want to forget you, Liv."
*
It is probably good that Liv already thought to basically threaten Tex away from ever speaking of this again, because she seems too stunned to even think to do so now. Her mouth works silently for a moment before she takes a quick step forward, ignoring the offered pen and ink to instead wrap her arms around Duke's neck and give him a fierce hug.
*
Duke makes a startled noise but manages not to drop anything when he hugs Liv back. He presses his face into her hair and holds onto her for as long as she'll allow it. He wasn't sure what to expect — perhaps a pragmatic "of course, this is a good idea" — and was pleased with himself for thinking of it. Hugs like this are…good. Not expected, but good.
*
Liv certainly doesn't seem inclined to let go of him anytime soon. The most she does is drop one arm to cling around his shoulders rather than his neck so she can tuck her chin over his shoulder more comfortably.
"Stupid man," Liv murmurs, her voice warm and full of affection. "I don't know if tonight is the right night for me to be committing anything to paper like this. But. I can at least get started."
*
"You can always help me write another book," Duke offers, turning his head enough to kiss her cheek, because that seems like the thing to do. Coz certainly gives kisses in important situations. "And we can come back and put it here with the first. I would like that."
*
"Maybe I'll just write one of my own, let you bury it as a companion piece," Liv says with a laugh, returning the kiss to her cheek by pressing one against his. "Though it would have an awful lot of swearing in it. Especially this chapter."
*
"I don't care. All the swearing, the yelling, all of it, I want all that." Duke tucks the ink and pen back in his pockets so he can cup Liv's face in his hands when he pulls back to look her in the eyes. "If I could, I would remember. I don't want to forget a minute of you. I don't understand but it doesn't go away. Sometimes it feels like my life is sleeping when when you're not in it, and then you come around and I start living again. You don't know what it's like to know I'll forget it, that it'll slide through my fingers no matter what I do."
*
Liv meets his eyes with a genuinely surprised arch of her eyebrows, loosening her hold around his neck enough to lean back. And then he just keeps talking, and she will never admit that she is having to blink back tears. It never happened. Definitely not right now, and she is definitely not trying to look away to hide it from him.
"You have no idea how that sounds, do you?" Liv asks, a nervous laugh coloring her voice. No, he can't possibly know. He's not a romantic sort of man. He's… Duke. And she's her. Time to start the parrying: "Was that beer I saw you put in the trunk? Let's open some up and I'll see if inspiration strikes."
*
"It sounds like a true thing." Duke is sure of that. He kisses her on the forehead, then lets her go. "Here." He leaves the pen and the ink on Tex's hood. "I made that ink so it won't fade. I'll get the beer, then Coz can help me dig."
Helping! Coz barks happily, then dances over to the shovel. Yes, he's going to help dig, which he is very professional at doing. He is also excellent at burying things, which is why he's here, of course.
*
Liv's pretty good at digging, too. She takes a quick step back when he lets go and looks down at the dirt beneath her feet, hugging the book to her chest like a lifeline. There are no tears in her eyes and she is most assuredly, most definitely, not. blushing.
She startles slightly when Coz barks, closing her eyes for a moment and taking in a very slow, deep breath to calm her nerves. Then, slowly, Liv moves over to retrieve the pen and ink from Tex's hood.
Hell. What the hell is she going to write..?
*
"You can look at the rest of it, if you want." Duke brings Liv a beer and leave it, open, on the hood. He doesn't make any other comment, just smiles at her and then goes to help Coz dig a hole for that gold box.
If Liv wants to flip back a few pages, maybe a few more after that, there's a very good likeness of her. And another. And another of her and Coz. Duke always learns how to draw, at some point, because it's good information storage and he needs to be able to draw plants, locations, animals, and more for his records. He's drawn her in painstaking detail, down to her braids placed exactly right. Of course. Because it's information.
The rest of the book is closely written, so much information, and maps and more pictures. There's a sense that comes from the book that the language is not any language Liv has ever seen. It's not the same as using her usual skills, making the translation.
*
Not. Crying.
Liv knows better than to sit on Tex's hood, so she sinks down to sit in the dirt in front of his bumper instead, the book open in her lap. "Not. One. Word," she quietly hisses to the car, hurriedly dragging a hand over her eyes. If she's going to write anything, she's going to need to be able to see.
And she's going to need at least one beer in her first. Chug first, then write. That seems like a good idea that she will in no way ever concievably come to regret.
*
Duke and Coz dig a deep hole in the hard-packed earth by the stones. It's slow going and apparently they have a difference of opinion about how it should proceed. Duke may be intelligent, and ultimately immortal, but he is still having a serious discussion with an out-sized mastiff about how to dig a hole in the middle of nowhere.
This is not a place you'd want to be reborn. There is literally nothing for hundreds of miles around. It's cold in the winter and blistering in the summer, and it almost never rains here by the look of it. There's no sign that there's any water source nearby. But this is it. Somehow, Duke comes back here. Probably with nothing. Knowing nothing. And, still, he manages to get back to the world with the help of his dog and his demon. And, maybe some day, Liv.
*
It takes time — long enough for the dog to win the argument — but eventually, Liv's shoes come crunching through the dirt and rocks to join the pair of them. She just thrusts the book out towards Duke, pointedly looking anywhere else but at him.
"Here. Just. Take it and bury it before I change my mind," Liv mutters quickly, glaring down at the ground like this is all its fault.
*
"Thank you." Duke doesn't ask what she wrote, he just wraps the book back up in its cloth, tucks it in its box, and closes the lid. He reaches down into the hole to put it at the bottom, then gets out of the way for Coz to start filling it in. He'll tamp it down after the first foot or so of earth is back in. He picks up his beer and comes over to put his arm around Liv's shoulders. "Want another?" He gestures with the bottle.
*
"I want about ten, but I work tomorrow. So. One more." Liv sighs quietly and leans into Duke's side, reaching up to rub at her face with both hands. Lord. What an emotionally exhausting day.
*
"Are you staying?" Duke asks as he goes to get them each another beer. "With me, I mean. Tonight." He comes back with her beer and holds it out to her. "You look like you need to stay."
*
Trailing along after him, Liv tries not to frown as she considers the question. "I… no. I'd better just go home," she murmurs lowly, accepting the bottle without looking up. "Otherwise, I'd say or do something I can't take back, and this isn't the day to be doing that."
*
"You could always not come around for ten years if you do," Duke suggests. "It'd be like it never happened." He almost manages to keep a straight face, then he laughs.
*
"It would never work. Coz and Tex know where I live." Liv gives Duke a light pat on the arm before she moves to the passenger side of the car. She's not ready to leave yet, but the seat is more comfortable than the ground, and it's nice if she just leaves the door wide open.
*
Duke helps Coz by tamping down the earth with his boots, then leaves the dog to finish up. He comes over to perch on Tex's hood, on her side of the car, not really looking at her for a little while. When he does shake back his hair and turn to look at her, he says, "I want to make things better for you, you know that, right? And I want you to stay. Whenever you want to stay, if it helps. I forget to say that because it's just…true. But you should know."
*
Liv offers him a reassuring smile from her seat, both hands wrapped around her drink. "I know. I'm not going anywhere, Duke," she promises. "And if I did decide to leave the city, I'd make you come with me. Don't worry."
*
"We can go anywhere you want. Anywhere. We'll go with you. You don't have to start over alone." Duke puts his beer down on Tex's hood before he goes to finish up with Coz. He lifts a large rock with relative ease, then sets it down on the spot. Satisfied, he collects the shovel and directs the dog back to the car before picking up his beer. Coz hops into the back seat and leans forward to snuffle Liv's ear.
"I'll take you home," Duke says, tossing the shovel in the trunk. He takes something out of his jacket as he slides back into the driver's seat. The map. "When you think you can find it again, burn that." Last thing he wants is to come back to life only to have someone kill him dead again. "Ready to go?"
*
Coz gets a smooch on the nose for his trouble before Liv reaches for her seatbelt, trusting Tex to get the door himself. He's a strong, independent car who don't need no (wo)man, after all.
She accepts the map from Duke with another slightly odd expression, but she nods and immediately folds it up, carefully tucking it away into her jacket for safekeeping. "Of course. Thank you."
Liv doesn't wait for Duke to offer his hand this time. She just reaches over and takes it.
"Let's go."
*