1964-02-27 - Lesser of Two?
Summary: Bobbi tries to help Pepper out with her Vigor addiction with a temporary solution.
Related: Pepper and Bobbi logs
Theme Song: None
bobbi pepper 


Pepper's apartment, shared with a certain Betty Ross, isn't that far from the Baxter Building. A second floor apartment in a lovely little building off of St. Mark's, it's modest, but nice. Pepper, after getting a phone call from Bobbi, took a day off and invited her over for breakfast. Pepper's not eaten yet, of course, not certain if blood work or the like needs done, but coffee is on and the little apartment smells like it. Pepper is in what would be considered comfortable clothes for her, high waisted slacks and a silk shirt, her hair down and no make up bothered with today, so the lines of her face and too-thin cheekbones can be seen. She smiles as Bobbi rings at the door, opening the front door to the little foyer, "Bobbi, please, come in… it… It's good to see you. Coffee?"

*

Bobbi made her way up to the apartment with quick steps, as she knocked on the door and Pepper opened the door she offered an easy smile. "Hello Miss Potts. I brought something that should at least make things easier for you. I'd like to take your vitals after. Have you taken a dose today already?" She arched a brow as she stepped inside, and moved to settle a suitcase on the table.

Blue eyes scanned the area and over Pepper herself. Then she popped open the suitcase with a click. "It's not a cure just yet. The sequencing for this thing is tricky."

*

The apartment is half used. While it's a two bedroom, there are things which are clearly Pepper's roommates which all are collecting dust. There are but a few very lonely dishes in the sink. The place really barely looks lived in, for whatever reason. Despite Pepper's drawn features, she's smiling, her expression professional and reassuring as ever. "Bobbi, you… You really didn't have to come, you know? I could have met you anywhere. You're already so nice for… for doing this." She tries to sound as put together and proper as possible, even if she's clearly frayed around the edges. She shakes her head at the question of having taken it. "N-no…not yet, Just… some coffee." That would be the shake in her hands.

*

A nod to the seat as Bobbi pulled it out and fiddled with a few elements from within the suitcase. "That's actually perfect. Come on, have a seat and roll up your sleeve. I've got something that might help. Of course I don't have .. I haven't had a way of testing this but it should work. Your blood sample responded positively and the lab rats showed promise. So, well.." She shrugged.

"Not that reassuring I know, but this should help some." She held up a vial between her fingers. "At least make it possible for you to have a fighting chance at cutting back."

*

"…Cutting back?" Those last words make Pepper entirely nervous, a trace of doubt through her pale eyes, but she finally just nods and steps over to the kitchen table, sitting down and carefully rolling up the sleeve of her shirt, exposing that bony, pale arm. She gives Bobbi a slightly more gentle smile, the expression all saying that she's somewhat game for this whole matter. SHe's going to try. "How have you been? Is work still… Quiet?"

*

A shrug as Bobbi fished out a cotton swap and dabbed at Pepper's arm with a quick, precise motion. "Well as quiet as one can expect when you're working with a world wide spy organization. Yeah. I suppose. Likely has something to do with my working myself to near passing out a month or so ago, but who can say? I don't do well when I'm not occupied." She readied the needle, making a face at it.

But science held sway over her dislike, and even fear of needles.

It was different if she wasn't the one getting stabbed.

"I'll have to pester Rogers again soon I think. If this works out for helping you. I've got a bit of a bone to pick with that boy scout. He's too wholesome." She wrinkled her nose as she made to carefully slip the needle into flesh for the injection.

Then it was over and she was placing a bandaid over the bump. "So, it should kick in within thirty minutes and take the edge of everything. At least. I hope."

*

"…Why… why is he too wholesome?" Pepper does ask, with a slightly nervous little chuckle, but is a gentle chuckle also. Happy for some distraction that isn't about whatever cocktail Bobbi is putting in her veins. She forces herself to take in a deeper breath, try to calm her racing pulse. She could handle anything, Pepper Potts, surely she could handle this.

"…And… thirty minutes? That means I… I need to wait 30 minutes to take it again?" Pepper asks, a bit softer, more wary. The tone of her voice is that of someone who is half worried she might die between now and then, or at least be sick for it all.

*

A glance was spared for Pepper as Bobbi capped the needle in a safe plastic container and sealed it away. "Nope, thirty minutes to take full effect. Then it should last you a while. I didn't exactly have a scale for your weight so I had to guess based on your clothing size and medical charts that were on file at your doctor's office last time. Plus to account for how much weight you've lost.." She wiggled her fingers.

"It should work as a sort of build up. The more doses of this you have, should help your system combat the need for vigor. Boost your systems that were already weak. Seeing as it seems to attack your own body's need for other cravings, this should work at blocking those addictive sensors in your brain. At least in theory." She shrugged, snapping the suitcase shut.

"Also, I say he's too wholesome because he's seriously nice to look at, but too much of a damn boy scout to oggle properly. And the office is sorely in short supply of eye candy these days."

*

The redhead still looks wary, her fingertips shaking more noticably. But, as Bobbi finishes with the needle, she grabs her arms back and folds them across her chest, trying to keep herself almost hugged in tight, hide all that shaking, steady around what touchstones she has. She takes in a deeper breath, sinking shoulders back into her chair, "You'll forgive me if I don't offer to pour you coffee. But… help yourself. Truly. There's milk in the fridge, sugar on the table…" Pepper offers warmly, trying to be the best hostess possible. "… 30 minutes. I… I'll wait and see. I can do that, at least." SHe affirms quietly.

Then the commentary about Steve happens and Pepper actually does laugh. Half breathless, weak, but it's a laugh, "..Mm…I see… my old boss was the opposite. Tony. IT's still a problem."

*

Bobbi was fetching out a notepad, scribbling down a few things with a quick hand as she glanced back to Pepper. "Sure, coffee sounds good. I like it black. So no need to raid your fridge just yet." She went to pour herself some coffee and then returned in due order.

"Let me know if things start to kick in earlier, it's possible I gave you a slightly larger dose than your body weight would require. So it might kick in earlier. Like I said, first human trial. It'll get easier as time goes on. Or it should." She shrugged and then flashed a grin.

"Oh, man, I would love to oogle Rogers properly. But hell. The guy has the nicest blue eyes and he looks like a puppy. I can't enjoy objectifying that. I mean seriously. It's an issue." She grinned wickedly, sipping at her drink.

"And as far as Tony Stark, mmm, girl. It's the 60s. You're allowed to look."

*

If there was much heat left in Pepper to blush, she'd probably be blushing right hard at the moment. She just clears her throat a bit circumspectly, shaking her head, "Oh, ah… I… I did more than… Look. If you want to get some… stress out? Well, Tony is not a bad option, I'll tell you that." Pepper offers Bobbi, only half teasing, even if a little color has actually managed to creep into her cheeks.

She then unfolds her arms, reaching unsteady fingertips for the coffee mug she poured for herself earlier. Maybe she can, at least, get some of that coffee down.

*

A laugh at that, and Bobbi shook her head. "Oh, well, well, some fire to you yet!" She flashed a grin, and settled in opposite of Pepper with her hands clasped around her mug. Blue eyes studying the other woman with critical attention of a scientist in the field.

"So, how was it? I mean, he is pretty well known for having a flavor of the week. Was it worth it? I mean, I knew a few German politicans that were playboys but they were all glitz and no umph." She made a crude gesture and winked, laughter coating her voice.

*

Why did Pepper bring this up? The redhead now slightly looks like she might wish to go and die. She clears her throat, that faint blush climbing up to her ears. She parts her lips, hovering on the edge of words she cannot quite find. Finally, Bobbi's commentary about politicians gets a shake of her head. "N-no… no… He wasn't like that. He… it… He was quite… talented. I'd give a proper recommendation for a… a good weekend. Just not a… life partner, you know?"

*

A nod, and Bobbi reached out with one hand to scribble a few notes, while the other lifted her cup to her lips to sip at her coffee. "Oh boy do I know that. Trust me. I'm one of those girls. Not exactly a good idea for my type to get into anything other than that. That whole not existing as a person beyond the black books and not actually having a birth certificate, social or anything …" She shrugged.

"Yeah, so. Not the girl to bring home to the parents. Stark is just a bit too much in the lime light for me too. No good for a spy to get pictured with a playboy." She sighed and shrugged. "Too bad. My last fling was before work got crazy."

*

While Pepper didn't actually plan to play hookup for her boyfriend, her head tilts a bit, levelling eyes in Bobbi's direction, "Actually, dating someone in the limelight is a good way to get lost. You get looped in with another slew of girls. No one focuses on the face. Tony is happy for all the attention. It… might not be bad for you. And he is a fun time. Not a bad guy, if a bit… science obsessed. You two might actually hit it off." Pepper admits with a bittersweet, pale sort of smile. Something in her misses her boss, that much is clear.

*

A snort at that, and Bobbi shook her head a smile curving at her lips. "Paper trails are not good when you've got a record already. Trust me. Unless there was a job that required me to go poking around." She rolled her eyes, and smiled. She pushed up her sleeve, eyeing her watch and then scribbled down a few notes.

"Lovely, it looks like that took about half the time I was hoping for. Your color has improved too. Your shaking has lessened too. Marvelous." She shoved her hair back from her face, furiously scribbling notes.

Then she was holding out a hand toward Pepper. "May I take your pulse?"

*

"Of… of course. Go ahead. I'm yours." Pepper offers with a weak half smile. Yes, she's still slightly shaking, but it's ever so slight, and she doesn't look near ready to run and puke as she was feeling half the morning. If she could even get down to one dose a day, that would be enough. She takes a breath and offers her thin arm to the woman, skin a bit clammy, but probably not near so bad as it was this morning. The steroid cocktail has helped, no doubt.

*

Bobbi paused her heckling conversation again to take the red head's pulse, and then caefully took more notes. A pleased sound escaping her. "Mm, better than I expected. I'll see if I can't turn this into something easier for you to take on your own. It's made specifically to you though. So just because it's helping you, doesn't necessarily mean it'll work with others. Okay? No offering to share." She arched a brow as she gestured to the suitcase.

"You also have to tell me immediately if you need more than the previous doses. There's always a chance your body might build a tolerance for it. So I need you to tell me right away if that's the case. I will monitor you as best I can, but I can't be here every dose."

*

A slight nod is given in turn to that. "I…I think… I'll take it gentle. Maybe go down to one dose a day to start?" Still the addict brain. Even if her body is levelling out a bit more than she had been, the brain tells her how much she might still need it. Want it. It's going to be impossibly hard to quit cold turkey, but this seems to be helping. "And…Bobbi…I owe you my life, probably. If there is anything I can ever do…"

*

Bobbi simply sat, a single eyebrow rising as she sipped at her coffee and studied Pepper with those critically sharp blue eyes. Unruffled by the deeply personal and honest thank-you. "Whatever you think you need to do to function. If you think you need one dose in a 24 hour period, then that's halving what you were taking before. That's a pretty significant leap." She nodded once, and scribbled something else down.

"I'd like to see you get down to needing one every other day, and progressing from there. It is swapping one drug for another, I know. Which in and of itself is dangerous. It's much like doctors treating current addictions. But I suppose, better the devil you know and all. Plus this isn't made by possibly the Russians. So there's that. Locally grown steriods." She rolled her eyes and persed her lips.

"I'd like to get you off both some day, but you also have to realize it's possible that might not happen. Some addicts of other drugs remain that way for life. And that's not their fault either. Different bodies and personalities react differently with these sorts of things."

*

Pepper listens to those words quietly, her brow tightening at the reassurance about going down to one every other day. She just mutely nods, taking it all in, though her lips press into a deeper frown, exhausted and skeptical, especially as Bobbi goes on about her never getting free. Her throat tightens, shoulders straightening, eyes levelling at Bobbi for many heartbeats. She says nothing, trying to drink that in, actually face that she might never get free from this. She breathes in slowly through her nose. "…I… I guess. I… I'm not that kind of person, Bobbi. I know it looks like I am…I know the person you've ever known here is the… addict. The mess. I might seem weak… but I'm not."

*

Bobbi flattens her hands against the table as she sets the mug aside. "Let's get one thing straight, Miss Potts, Pepper. There's nothing weak about it. It's a chemical reaction that your body has no control over. That drug, Vigor? There are a lot of people addicted to it. People that pride themselves on self control and discipline. You're not alone. It's a brutal piece of work. And there's nothing wrong if you replace that for what I've been working with." She exhales a slow breath and closing her eyes briefly.

"Think of it like an illness. If you catch cancer, it's not your fault. You didn't do anything 'wrong' or 'right'. You just have to do what you can to keep living. This thing is attacking the cells in your brain on a chemical level. It's not like logic or will power comes into this." She tapped her fingers against the table top.

"And I'm being as honest as I can with you. Because it's possible that your body might have been damaged by it. Enough that it craves something regardless. I just hope to make it lesser, something that won't kill you. Trust me. I've thrown my head at the wall trying to figure out a way out of it. I've looked at this thing under a microscope and it's a load of work."

*

The redhead listens to Bobbi quietly, moisture in her eyes that she doesn't quite let herself cry, but the woman is the first, dead honest, complete expert that has actually spoken to Pepper frankly about it all. Pep is intelligent, one of the sharpest in business, and seeing the writing on the wall like this is hard. Even if she appreciates it, it's hard. She finally gives a slow nod, dragging in a deeper, slightly shaking breath as she sinks back in her chair, "…Thank you, Bobbi. I… I understand. You have been… too good to me. Far better than I deserve." Pepper's voice, crackled with tears, not cravings, admits softly.

*

Bobbi sighed, shifting as she pushed away from the table and came around to settle a hand on Pepper's shoulder. "Hey, shh.. it's okay. I swear I'll try my best. I might not have been able to re-create the super-soldier serum, but damned if I didn't get the closest. That's gotta count for something, huh? After all, I'd be out of a job if I hadn't. And I promise that I'm not going to give up okay?" She breathed, her voice soft.

"But I am a realist, and I don't want you to think this road will be quick or sudden. I don't have magic or anything. I'm only human."

*

"N-no…No, Bobbi, you… don't say that. Don't act like that. You've been the best person I've met in a real darn long time, and just… So sweet, and you don't understand just how much I appreciate you being honest like that because I prefer it. Honesty, that is… Prefer to know, then I can work on a game plan. Pretty words don't mean anything when they're not true." Pepper's small, cool hand comes up to tightly squeeze at Bobbi's palm. "And I very much think if anyone can do it… You can. You're one of the most brilliant women I've ever met. I… I just… have some… Processing to do, is all."

*

A nod and a smile, and Bobbi leaned back to return to her seat. "I like to be honest when I can. You'd be surprised how much it means to someone like me to be able to offer something honestly.." She laughed and slowly shook her head. She certainly hadn't told Pepper why she'd taken up the woman's plight. Nor the fact that the Winter Soldier had held her at gun point over it.

No need to burden the poor woman further.

"Also, thanks for the compliment. I'm gonna have to remember that the next time someone gets smart with the coffee maker at work." She grinned, and finger gunned toward Pepper as she leaned back.

"Now, I'll ask you a series of questions.. and I'll need you to be as accurate as you can. Just so I can try to measure how you feel.." She would continue like that for some time. Interjecting a few jokes along the way when it would seem that the redhead was getting down. Eventually though, after the first hour or two, Bobbi would excuse herself and retreat back to the Shield Headquarters to work with data.

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