1964-04-12 - Welcome to Earth
Summary: After a week on Earth, Starfire tries to get Ford to help her seek asylum. Ford tries to get her skirt off. Neither one really succeeds.
Related: None
Theme Song: None
ford starfire 


After about a week on Earth Starfire has finally recovered from her trip. Now it's time to present her request to the Earth leaders at the UN…. If she can ever find her way to it. She floats along the street, trying her best to request directions, but seems to be getting a lot of 'Die mutie' responses or flat out ignored. It may not help her starting line is usually "Hello new Earth friend!" in a variety of languages from around the world.

*

Ford himself has taken this evening to enjoy the night air on the Brooklyn docks. Parking his blue Ford 300 on the water's edge, sitting on the hood of his car, Ford looks up at the waning moon before perking up. The sound of one of the local residents telling a mutie to kick the bucket has him up off his car in a moment, and sprinting at superhuman speeds towards the disturbance the following one.
What he sees isn't what he expects. A floating… orange girl? Taking a moment to admire that physique of hers, apparently not deterred by the orange skin, Ford listens to her greet another bystander in French, who just disregards her. No way to treat a lady at all! "<Excuse me, miss! You having a bit of trouble?>" he asked, walking casually up to her and nodding politely and speaking impressive French himself. If a tad breathy. "<Sorry for the… rude residents here. New York is a bit of a staging ground for a lot of things going on. Not everyone's as friendly as I am.>" He offered a hand. "<Name's Ford. Best mechanic in New York. So… do you plan to tell me your name, or are you gonna make me guess~?>"

*

As Ford approaches Starfire starts to say 'Hello' this time in Mongolian and then stops as he speaks up in French. <Oh! Is this the right Earth language for this city? I am Starfire Princess of the planet Tamaran and I was wondering if you could tell me where I would find the United Nations? I wish to talk to Earth leaders about requesting asylum.> She hovers just over half a foot above the ground, turning to give a friendly wave to the rude citizen making to cross the street to get away.

*

Ford smiled, stopping only to give the rude citizen a kick of a pebble after him before turning back to Starfire. "Oh, if you're looking for the right language around these parts, you'll want English. I just happened to hear you speak in French…" He smirked as he transitioned briefly back to the language. "<And I've always been a sucker for the romance languages~>"
He arched a brow at her comment about being from another planet, called Tamaran. "Ahhhhh… huh… a princess from another world?" He smirked, chuckling and shaking his head. "You know what? Were this any other city, I would have a hard time believing that… but I've seen guys in red and yellow armor flying around shooting squid robots, so… I'll buy that. For now." He tilted his head. "So, you're wanting to talk to the UN too? Man, you're like… the third person I've met this past month wanting that… sorry to say, I'm just a mechanic. Not sure how much I'll be able to help. Not that they're even meeting this time of night. You'll probably have to wait for the morning to even have a chance…"

*

"What is a romance language?" Starfire replies, switching to English without trouble. "I seem to have acquired many languages from someone Earth people call 'The Superman'. Unfortunately I am having the problems knowing which are for this planet and where." She shrugs. "I am happy to wait outside until they are available." There is a brief frown "Why would someone be firing squid robots into the sky? Is that not wasteful? …. And forgive me for asking but what is a squid?"

*

Ford stared back at Starfire for a moment, before trying to bite back a laugh… and failing. Miserably. He burst into laughter at Starfire's questions before shaking his head and catching his breath. "Hoooooohohoh… boy, you really ARE from another planet! I… I think perhaps leaving you alone is a poor idea. Come on. I couldn't possibly leave a lady out in the cold. You can crash- er, you can rest at my place until morning." Ford offered, waving her towards his car at the water's edge. "Sounds like you met Superman… he's supposed to be an alien like yourself, but from a planet called… erm… was it 'Kribtin'? I forget… but, even if you wait at the UN, there's no guarantee they'll be there in the morning. Like I said, I'm just a mechanic, so my knowledge of global politics is… limited…"

*

Starfire blinks a few times. "You live inside one of those 'cars' I have seen many of?" she wonders, floating a little closer to inspect it. "It seems very small inside. Cold does not bother my people, we are able to travel between worlds without starships." As if to demonstrate she floats up a little higher, then flies over to Fords car. "I believe he called it Krypton, although it is not a planet my people are familiar with. We have not travelled widely in the last few centuries."

*

"Wha? No, no, I meant… I meant take the car back to my apartment." Ford explained, shaking his head. Boy… this was going to take some doing… "Well… maybe not, but it's the principle of the thing. Besides, do your people not need to eat? Because I can make a good hamburger, if you're hungry."
Ford snapped his fingers at the mention of Krypton. "KRYPTON! That's it! Thank you. Couldn't recall it for the life of me… wait, so… your people can traverse space without ships… but you don't explore it? Don't you get… I dunno, bored? Being stuck on your homeworld?" He paused a moment to consider that. "…is that why you're here? To get off the rock?" His smirk widened. "Or was it that you heard the most handsome man in the universe was here on Earth, and you just HAD to see if that was true~?"

*

Starfire lands by the car, pauses and leans as if to pick it up. "I can take your car if you are tired? I have not yet tried eating Earth foods. My people can live off light," she sighs. "There has been war for many years. I was banished to protect the people of my world. Our system is not like yours though, we have several sentient races living on the different worlds." She pauses, then smiles. "Besides, it takes a very long time to travel between star systems.. Months I think is your word? It took me half an orbit of this planet around your sun to get here."

*

Ford blinked as Starfire leaned over to pick it up. "WAIT! No no no, you get in the car! Yeesh, what is it with out of towners and wanting to pick up cars?" Ford asked. That happened with Diana too… he should probably find her. She could be in trouble… "Yeah, well… the sun's not out, so I guess it's either snack on starlight, or a burger. You game?" He opened the driver's side door and ducked into the car, reaching over to open the door for Starfire. "…I suppose that makes some sense. Heck, we haven't even visited our own moon yet, and I've heard that's the closest thing too us… though I hear talk of a space program."

*

"They don't look very comfortable? Perhaps we all assume they are for the storage of goods," Starfire offers helpfully, very carefully getting into the car and doing her utmost best not to accidentally tear the door off when she shuts it. "I am willing to try this 'burger' of which you speak. I wonder, how do you input your destination? Voice controls? I would offer to take you to the moon, but I do not think you would enjoy the trip."

*

"Hey! My baby is smooth as butter…" Ford replied, apparently not taking the "used for storage" comment too well. "How… well, you take the key… push it in the slot… turn it, and…" Ford started the ignition as the car rumbled to life, humming a bit as he pressed the gas lightly before shifting the gears. "See? You just gotta know where you want to go, and steer her there."

Ford snickered as he shook his head. "I imagine not. They say space is no place for us humans. On account of the lack of air. So… color me surprised you can breath in space. Not that I have much urge to go to the moon. Earth has plenty of good stuff to explore as it is."

*

"Oh no, I only breath to produce sound within an atmosphere. I was unaware that you had children," Starfire twists to check the back seat. "Is it a mark of pride to have smooth young? Earth culture /is/ fascinating. There is much to see and do, food and drinks to taste. Lots more than on your moon which is quite boring."

*

"Wh- oh, no. Not yet. I meant the car is my baby." He said, patting the wheel. "It's a saying. Like, a… metaphor? I guess? It's a turn of phrase. You talk about something as if it were… something, but that's meant to symbolize what it means to you. Like… an inneundo…. though not nearly as fun, if you ask me~" Ford replied, turning the wheel and bringing the car around the corner.

"Yeah. We've not got to the moon yet. Well, us humans, anyways. So most likely, you'll find all the action down here on Earth." He smirked a bit wider. "Now, if you want a point of pride for Earth males, it'd be having a…" He paused a moment, grimacing a bit and glancing at Starfire. "Okay, before I explain that, I should ask, about how old are you?" Another pause. "…in Earth years, I should clarify."

*

Starfire scratches her head. "While I am able to obtain the meaning of words through physical contact unfortunately it is not a true telepathic ability that allows me to acquire the context for metaphors." She turns back to look at the front of the car, poking and prodding at various non-essential things infront of the passenger seat. "It is quite hard to account for the exact differences in orbital mechanics without a computational device. Do you have one available which I may borrow? If not I shall try and estimate."

*

"…that is a strange power. I mean, I've come across odd ones… but the ability to learn vocabulary through contact is… up there." Ford said, looking back before shaking his head. "I'm afraid I lack one of those. A rough guess… or, I suppose, a more accurate question would be, are you matured for your kind? Because explaining a point of pride for human males is kind of an adult thing. I mean… it's necessary for context, but… also… adult… you know?" He glanced over at Starfire again, before forcing his eyes off her figure and back on the road. "I mean, you look like it. I don't know if you've had the chance to observe, but you look an awful lot like pretty well developed human females, so… I have to ask, because looks can decieve."

*

After a few moments counting on her fingers Starfire tentatively responds "I estimate I am around twenty orbits of this planet around the sun in age. My people live to be around six hundred orbits? It is hard to be exact. My tutors always said I was very mature, but then it would not do for a Princess to act like a royal zorrgnarg."

*

"Okay, good, then you're old enough." Ford replied, smirking. "Well, see- wait, 600!? Good lord, you're like… a little kid, then, aren't you?!" Ford asked, taking the moment at the stop light to look at her again. Well… no, she certainly didn't look it. "Ermmmm… well… I suppose you're mature… I guess. Okay, see, here's how it works… human males are after human females cause…" Ford launched into a general overview of human reproduction for Starfire… more specifically, the actual action of doing so. "…and about 9 months, later, the female gives birth to a little kid."
He smirked. "Now… my point for all of that is that for human males, a point of pride would be having a large… 'reproductive limb'. You catch my drift?"

*

Starfire nods along to the, perhaps overly graphic, introduction to Human biology. "Is that so you may display them as part of courtship ritual or greeting? Or as a means by which you assert social dominance with other males? I do not wish to seem rude but these limbs do not sound especially well suited for combat."

*

Ford tries to keep things scientific and objective in his explanation… but every so often, he slips into innuendo and chuckles a bit. "Those limbs are NOT for combat, sweetheart. It's for love making. And… yeah, it's a way of asserting dominance… but most don't just whip it out on meeting each other. It's… pretty much purely for the ladies. At least, mine is, anyways." He smirked a bit before continuing both the drive and his lecture. "As a general rule, the bigger, the better… for women, anyways. I wouldn't know how it works on Tamaran, but down here? Size matters. On several levels~"
Ford pulled into a burger joint and into a parking spot. "You know? I was planning on making the burgers myself. But I think you should experience Louie's fantastic food. You'll love it."

*

"Ahh I see. Some sort of ritual appraisal process then. Although if that is the case I do not understand your gender specific garments, as the clothing worn by female Humans would allow for easier access to that region," Starfire nods again with, certainly somewhat misplaced, understanding. "If size is used to denote value does that mean the statue I have seen outside the city is of the ruler of your country? It is the biggest statue I have seen on the planet so far… Also it occurs to me I have no currency with which to repay you for your kindness. I currently do not even have a grubfar with me!"

*

Ford smiled, chuckling as he shook his head. "You and me both. Well, for the ladies, the idea is to show off their physicality… much like that nice outfit of yours~" Ford said, daring a sidelong glance before continuing. "For guys, it's more about showing off… well, everything that we can do. We guys have to be able to provide security and protection for the ladies to raise their future kids. So, for the gals, it's about finding someone who can put them and the little ones in nice clothes. For guys… well, obviously, taking them off~"
At her question about repaying him for his kindness, Ford went quiet, apparently trying to grapple with whether or not he should actually say what's on his mind. Finally, he smiled widely, leaning over a bit. "Weeeeeeell… if you really want to know~ Perhaps you come back with me to my place after dinner… and I show you human mating rituals firsthand~"

*

Starfire frowns. "So females engage in feats of strength while the males show they can do domestic tasks," she muses, letting herself out of the car. "I am unsure how Earth culture works, but I would not want to intrude upon the mating ritual you have planned with your partner by watching."

*

"Erm… actually, that's backwards. Guys are meant to be the physical ones. The ladies do the domestic stuff. By phsyical, I mean… their figures~ But it's best if a guy can do the strength and the domestic. Proves he can do it all for the lady, if need be." Ford took another chance to eye up Starfire before blinking and shaking his head. "N-no, I… I don't have one. I did, but… haven't seen her in a while. So… perhaps you'd like to fill in for her~" He smiled, before considering a moment. "Erm… maybe you wouldn't. If you don't have the proper… shall we say, physiology."

*

"If your mate has gone missing why are you not looking for her?" Starfire wonders innocently. "Is that what you were doing before we met? If you need help I could ask the Superman if he will try locate her for you. He seemed to be able to move very quickly and could search a large area in a short space of time."

*

"No, no, please. It's…" Ford leaned back in the driver's seat and frowned a bit, leaning to one side. "It's… it's complicated. Let's put it that way. More Earth politics than I could properly explain to you right now. Suffice to say… she's gone underground a bit, leaving me with no gal to keep me warm at night." He paused, starting to get the hang of explaining his turn of phrases to Starfire. "Have sex. That means she and I were having sex. And I was gonna try to see if you'd be up to it… but perhaps 'Princess of an Alien Planet' is a bit of a lofty goal for a simple mechanic, yeah?"

*

Starfire tilts her head. "She is hiding in a tunnel for political reasons? That seems very complicated." She glances at a nearby manhole cover. "I do not believe you could best me in the ritual test of strength. Although it is a flattering offer! However I fear I would likely damage you. From what I have gathered most Humans are quite… delicate compared to the species I am used to."

*

Ford looked about ready to correct her on her phrasing, but realized that, again, trying to explain it properly would be a bit challenging. "Yeah, close enough." Ford replied, offering a shrug. It was true! "No, no, I mean… erm… you know what? Nevermind. I think you'd get lost with the process anyways. Just as well." He smiled, looking out at the menu on the ordering board for a moment before pressing the button to summon a waitress on skates. "Two burgers and fries. Make it… erm, one coke, one water." As the waitress left, sparing Starfire a curious glance, Ford chuckled. "Fair enough. But I'm unique… I'm willing to bet I could take whatever you could dish out~ I AM pretty amazing, after all…"

*

It takes a moment before Starfire understands she's not supposed to have got out of the car. Awkwardly she gets back in again. "I do not think it would be safe to find out," she points out. "I could tear this vehicle apart with my hands quite easily, although I will not as I suspect it would upset you, however I am unsure if most regular Humans would be able to do such a thing. What is a coke?"

*

"You want to know a secret? …so can I~" Ford replied. "And I don't mean take it apart part by part. I could pick this thing up and hurl it… proooooobably back to where we started, if I wound up a bit." Is… is he being serious? "But, I appreciate you not tearing up my car. She's a good car, after all. But you're right. Most humans can't do what I do… but I'm not most humans~"
"A coke is a soda. Like a bubbly drink. Hard to describe. I'll let you try it yourself. I'm going to guess you don't have those on Tamaran, am I right?"

*

"We have many foods and beverages on Tamaran. It is very vibrant and full of life compared to many places on your planet. Like an Earth jungle only covering all of the land," Starfire explains with a wistful expression. "I already miss it. I have not tasted Glorrk in many lunar orbits. I wonder if I could recreate it using Earth fungus… I am getting distracted, sorry, I hope you are not most Humans. That would be very confusing if one person was also many other people."

*

Ford stared at Starfire for a little while, before smiling and shaking his head. Yeah. Getting to any sort of base with her was going to be a challenge. She was simply too innocent for any of his plights to work. Most of his conversational language alone was lost on her. She was simply too new to the planet… not that he blamed her. But perhaps… better to seek other opportunities elsewhere. "Something tells me when you bite into a hamburger, you'll be missing 'Glorrk' a little less."
Speaking of which, the waitress rolled back to the car with the burgers and fries in a pair of baskets, along with two drinks, one of which was dark and fizzing bubbles still. Ford handed the soda to Starfire, as well as a basket of food, and picked up his own burger. "Eat up. This ones on me." Pause. "…means I'll pay for it. Don't worry about paying it back."

*

"Someday I shall repay your kindness with a traditional Tamaranean feast," Starfire promises earnestly. Who knows what table manners Ford was expecting to see from an alien princess, but on Tamaran it's considered polite to finish a meal as fast as possible. Anything less is rude to your host! And so in a few huge bites she gulps down the burger, wrapper napkins and all. Then proceeds to drain the coke all at once. She doesn't need to pause for breath after all! Once the drink and the burger are done she picks up the ketchup and mustard bottles and eats those too for good measure. "This yellow beverage is delicious! The red one and the coke are a little sweet, but the yellow is delightfully tangy."

*

Ford watched in silence as he chewed on his first bite of burger, watching Starfire practically inhale her food. He raised a finger to stop her from drinking the ketchup and mustard, but the effort seemed in vain as she was finished before he could even address it. "Those… those weren't… you know what? Glad to hear you like 'em. I'll be sure to get you a bigger bottle of the mustard next time. So, ah… I take it quick eating is a custom on Tamaran?"

*

Starfire takes a huge bite out of the mustard bottle. "Oh, is it unusual on Earth?" she wonders. "Back on home it would be considered impolite not to fight for a larger share of the meal. It would also be a sign that someone is no longer strong enough to be a warrior. If you can't fight for the best parts of a meal then how could you fight your enemy?" She chews at the bottle some more. "I am beginning to think the container is not also edible..?"

*

"N…no, it's not." Ford replied, reaching over and taking the bottle from her. "Here on Earth, you take time and savor the meal. Enjoy it. Rushing through is kinda… messy. Makes you look crude and uncultured. Then again, I like a ravenous lady~" Pause. "Sorry, more innuendo. It's… kind of a habit of mine. Most Earth girls would get that I'm implying… erm, nevermind." Ford took enough bite of his burger, before offering a bite to Starfire. "Here. Take a bite and chew it. Slowly. Savor it. Enjoy it. Work it with your mouth a bit and appreciate the flavor before finally swallowing."
…so was that innuendo too, or…?

*

"I am not ravenous, I can live on light alone for a very long time if I need to. Solid food and drinks are considered a recreational and sometimes ceremonial activity," Kori points out earnestly, taking time to savor and enjoy… the rest of mustard. Ensuring none is wasted. She even swallows the plastic she had bitten off. "It would feel very rude to eat your burger as well. I would not wish to break with Earth customs any more than I have done."

*

"No, I was… nevermind…" Ford said, sighing and taking another bite of his burger and shaking his head. "You'll figure it out in due time. Perhaps around other humans. Not that I don't mind trying to teach ya, but… perhaps you need a better teacher than me?" Ford pondered that a bit. "…ah, well, perhaps the folks at the UN can help you tomorrow. For tonight… you can stay at my place." Should keep her out of trouble, hopefully.

*

Starfire nods cheerfully. "Oh I do not intend to be in 'the trouble'. Unless I have been tracked to this world, but do not worry that is very unlikely. Space is very large you see. I also took several precautions to ensure I was safe."

*

Ford nodded, taking another bite of his burger and offering Starfire a few fries. "Well, then, lemme finish my food and pay and we'll be on our way, m'kay?" Ford smiled, before chomping off another chunk of burger.

Unless otherwise stated, the content of this page is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 License