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When Lindon comes home…his house has been invaded. It is infused with the smell of perfume, and candles. The interior is very welcoming, despite having been broken in to. There are some candles about, casting the room in warm, faint light. And there is a woman. Also not a woman. There is what is clearly a man…because he has a goatee, and black curled hair, but…also wearing the HELL out of a dress and heels, some sort of undergarment forcing fake curves onto a masculine form. The dress is black and slinky, which goes with the red lips nicely, and it only has spaghetti straps with no effort to hide those broad shoulders. Currently he is sitting sideways in a chair and drinking some wine. If Lindon had any, its his. If he didn't, then the intruder must have brought it with him.
*
Lindon did have a nice Chardonnay he was saving, but there it is. Lindon comes home with a bag of groceries on one arm. He stops short the moment the door closes behind him, and he stares at Maximus for a moment. There's a lot going through his head. The facts and figures as per usual, and a whole lot of confusion over Maximus looking so… in a dress. "What are you doing here?" he says, eyes narroed warily. He just can't seem to look away.
*
Maximus clears his throat. "I told you I would come back." He might not have. He claims it anyway. "To see if you…have had some sort of vision. What were you doing, grocery shopping?" He chuckles like he's amused. "A man of your talents should not have to even cook for himself." He swirls around the special occassion wine. "Obviously you did not move, so…you must have been thinking about me." He makes a few clucking sounds.
*
Lindon walks past Maximus into the kitchen. For now, he opts to just act naturally, not that he ever seems completely comfortable in his skin. "I find living alone is easier for everyone involved," he says as he puts away groceries. "And I have to eat, so." He closes his eyes, one hand on an open cupboard. "I've wondered if you'd come back. I'm afraid to disappoint you, but I'm no more enlightened to your plight than I was before."
*
Maximus does seem disappointed, for sure. He frowns, wrinkling his brows, and makes a low groaning sound. "Is there anything you can do to…prompt…a vision? /Surely/ you know a way to put things in your mind, by now." The royal purrs in a disturbing, seductive tone.
*
"I go out of my way to avoid having them," Lindon says. He puts away the last of his groceries and comes to lean against the doorway leading into the living room so he can watch Maximus. He folds his arms over his chest. "The visions are awful. They turn my mind inside out, make me crazy. I never come back quite the same. So, uh, I try not to have them."
*
Maximus sips his drink slowly, until it is finished. He lifts one leg, then the other, then lays them back down so his heeled feet are crossed in the opposite direction as before. "You are starting to sound defiantly useless…Mr. Lindon. I have a /plight/, you know. And I have offered such generous release from all of that…"
*
Lindon smiles slowly. "Defiantly useless. I like that." It's a serene smile, there's no malice behind it, but a glint of wicked humor shines in his dark eyes. "Do you think you can undo what's been done? It's not something I have, it's what I am." He purses his lips, then says delicately, "You would have to have something tangible to offer me. Something that would make me undo myself for you."
*
Maximus studies Lindon with his steel eyes. "I can make you forget, if you let me. For a while, you would…be just you. Of course you would remember very little, but…your personality would shine through the confusion. I could also offer you what I need your help to create. It would kill you in seconds. No chance of survival." Grim, but he knows that look.
*
Lindon utters a startled, mirthless laugh. "You're offering me death? Am I that pathetic? Even if there's not much of me left, I'm not done with what I've got yet." He shakes his head. "I suppose it's too much to ask for an appeal to my better nature. Some… some respect for my basic humanity. I'm not just a relic, and unless you're not just another spell-slinger who wants to put me on a shelf, I don't know that there's any help I can give you."
*
Maximus makes a sound as he fails to connect with the other man and he swings his feet down to the floor and sits up. "Better nature? You mean the one that is refusing to help? I do not know /what/ you are, but I did mistakenly think you could help. I have no idea what you want."
*
"I want to have mattered." The words come out unbidden, and Lindon covers his mouth under the pretense of rubbing his jaw. He looks away from Maximus, takes a deep, soothing breath, and lets his hand fall away from his face. "I want to be as well as I can be for as long as I can be. If I give myself over to you, you will use me up, and I'll be gone. Do you want to know what I am? Or, God forbid, who?"
*
Maximus rises to his feet and cocks his hips to one side. "In truth…I did not know…I was not aware, that your ability harmed you to use. This is the first of hearing of it. I am not a /heartless/ man. There may yet be other…solutions. I would rather know who you are than what you are." Red lips quirk sideways.
*
Lindon smiles, tentative and slight. "That's a good first step," he says. He steps forward, awkward and uncertain in his skin, like he's still not sure how limbs work. He offers a hand to Maximus. "I'm Lindon Mills. I'm a librarian. I've always just kind of felt better around books. I used to crave knowledge."
*
Maximus takes his hand, and shakes it. "I am Maximus Boltagon…deposed ruler of Attilan. Madman to some." He quirks his lips. "So…what happened to you, then? A love of books does not create powered people…"
*
"It's nice to meet you, Attilan. As a part-time madman, I can't really judge." He comes over to sit on the couch beside where Maximus was a moment ago. "A sorcerer miscast a spell. It was meant to capture a huge body of knowledge, maybe all knowledge for all I know, into an object. He missed, and the bolt of magical lightning hit me instead. I was in a coma for eight days, and when I came out of it…" He shrugs. "It's part of me now. He died in the casting, and I've just tried to cope as best I can."
*
"Were you the wizard's…apprentice? Lover? Family member?" Maximus asks curiously, seeking more drama than probably exists in the revelation. Now that Lindon has sat himself down, he wanders the room, slowly, casually.
*
"I was a guy walking home from the library," Lindon says. He watches Maximus, dark eyes following him. "That's what makes it extra sad, don't you think? I never should have been involved, but Fate's a bitch, isn't it?" He utters a mirthless laugh, shaking his head. "That's just it. I could've just gone on being a nobody if I hadn't gone to the library that day."
*
"Would you have wanted to be a nobody forever? Surely not. No one wishes complete obscurity. Inside you…doesn't any part of you…thrill at the idea of being special, wondrous?" Maximus arches both brows, unable to imagine a life where he is an ignored nothing.
*
Lindon clasps his hands together, and he stares into the middle distance as he thinks. It's a tougher question than it seems. "I was content," he says. "I had a career doing what I love, I was getting settled in to a new city. I thought maybe someday there'd be a wife and kids. Normal stuff. If that's all I'd known, I would've thought it was enough. Now that I know what I know? I can't imagine being that guy anymore. This thing in my head, it want to exist. It wants to be what it is, and what it is is unique. So, I don't know. You tell me."
*
"You believe that you…and the ability, are separate. That's interesting. I have no idea what is true. You mentioned earlier that its destroying you. And now you say you cannot have a normal life of any sort because of it. And you don't embrace it. Hmm. But if you did embrace it, maybe you would become something completely different. That's a hard decision to make. Of course…if I were you…" Maximus spins to face Lindon with a dynamic move, "I would get really drunk and just go for it." He grins crookedly. "But, some say I am already Mad."
*
Lindon makes a so-so waggle with his hand. "I'm not that man anymore. There's a point where we're fused into one. I don't feel like I have an Archive, I feel like I am the Archive." He rubs at the back of his neck and says, "I don't know, man. I think maybe it's not accepting me. The knowledge doesn't know how to be human. It has no idea about human frailties or how to exist in a human psyche." He eyes Max, then shakes his head with a quiet snort. "If I go for it, there's no coming back. Lindon Mills will be gone. It would be a spectacular suicide. If I could control the visions. I can't. I can't do magic."
*
Maximus ehhhhs…" Maximus comes over to sit beside Lindon again with a dramatic flop. "I think you stand more of a chance than that. After all, once you have all the knowledge, ever, then, you also understand how to beat it? Maybe?" He offers a little glimmer of hope."
*
"I won't remember why I want to," Lindon says sadly. He shifts a little so he can face Maximus, studying his features intently. "Aren't you supposed to be here to study the world, anyway?" Oops, there's a little slip, and Lindon can't remember if he'd heard it or if he Knows it. "Look, I really would help you if I had any control over these visions and if they weren't slowly eroding my sanity. Maybe if I chose someone, they could bring about a vision, but I can't promise it would be what you're looking for."
*
"No, it likely would not. Keep what you have of your sanity. But, you know, you really should not avoid wizards. They may be your only hope of getting all of that information OUT of your head." Maximus smiles faintly. "I am studying the world." He insists.
*
"You're studying it to get what you can from it," Lindon says, though it's not a terribly strong accusation. There's almost humor there, almost. "I don't want to get rid of it, though. I want it to stop trying to get rid of me. If we could fuse seamlessly and I could still be at least a fraction of the man I was. I just want to, like, remember my sister's name without having to write it down, or to know if I had any pets growing up, or what my parents looked like. I know they died, but I have no idea how. I used to. And, you know? For the right reasons and the right person? I would give some of it up and show them what they want to see."
*
Maximus stares at Lindon and some of his own madness fades away, becoming softer around the edges, "I know that, deep down, you sympathize with an exiled King, and that you want to help me. You want me to say the right things, so that you will be convinced. But, the truth is, that the cost to you is too great…and you have been used by others, and I would rather you did not help me. I can find another way."
*
"I want to be able to do the right thing," Lindon says quietly. "The fact you think the cost is too great tells me you're not a monster. Look, if… if I can find something on terrigenesis that might not need a vision, I'll tell you whatever I can. I know what it feels like to be on the outside of where you belong. If I can't help myself, maybe I can still help someone else."
*
"No. I am a monster." Maximus lifts his chin and draws in a deep breath. His eyes flick to Lindon and look the man up and down. "I know that you already know. I never mentioned it." He claims to Lindon, and folds his arms across his chest.
*
"I know what it is," Lindon agrees. He sits rather still as he watches Maximus. "I know what it is. I know what you are, why you're here, what you want. Given some time, I might be able to tell you more about where the answers lie. I might even have some of them." He frowns faintly, his gaze going a little unfocused. "I have every reason to tell you to get out," he says, "and to change the locks or just move or whatever. But you're right. I do sympathize with you, and I want to help. It's not even Stockholm syndrome. Just an instinct." Perhaps that Maximus is dangerous to refuse, which isn't mutually exclusive from compassion.
*
"Your instincts are…completely wrong. You should not help me. I am feeling…a momentary lapse in being absorbed in my people's fate. You need to escape your own fate, to lose yourself, somehow. You need a wizard. I know one. Someone who can possibly pull all of that out of you." Max may just be being dramatic now. It rings a bit of that.
*
"Maybe I'm escaping my fate by losing myself in yours," Lindon says quietly. "If my instincts were good, I never would've taken that route home from the library that night." He leans back, continuing to study Maximus. His stance is oddly relaxed, all things considered. "I try to avoid wizards," he says. "But go on, who do you know?"
*
"Dr Strange. But. Honestly? its his wife or…" Max presses his lips together briefly as he speaks of Wanda, "/whatever she is/, that I think could help you. She does magic differently and more freely than he does. And she's intrigued by the unique and interesting. Maybe, instead of taking away your gift, she could just somehow protect your personality from it."
*
"Strange, yes, we've met." Lindon says, then his features soften as he adds, "And Wanda, yes. She's an intriguing woman, don't you think? It didn't occur to ask her if she could help me. I just…" He smiles a little, then drops his gaze and shakes his head. "I was just honored to meet her." He sighs, pinches the bridge of his nose, and adds, "Strange mentioned finding a, uh, master." How humiliating to say it aloud. "But I don't think he's interested in the part."
*
"Oh, by the council-leader's balls, no…/not/ a master. Why on earth would you want to do that to yourself? UGH. No. They are BOTH of them completely incapable of such a task. Not for any useful thing. Wanda is vague and detatched, and Strange has so many rules and moral limitations that he could never be truly honest with you about your capabilities. No, you just need the ability to figure it out without hurting yourself. I do think Wanda could help with that." Maximus suddenly animates against Lindon getting a master. he must really dislike them!
*
Lindon scowls as he says, "It's not my fault this thing thinks in those terms. Trust me, the idea doesn't make me rest easy, but it's there in my head, and it's persistent. It's this urge I'm fighting all the time, because I don't particularly want to be anyone's anything, and that goes triple for wizards." It must be so much fun to be at such odds with oneself all the time. He exhales sharply, rubs his eyes, and says, "I could ask Wanda what she can do to help. Part of me wants this, though. Ugh, I hate how confusing this is."
*
Maximus points at Lindon. "Just…let me in for one moment, and I swear that I can help you. I truly can. Forget about everything else and let me just give you one day of peace."
*
Lindon considers Maximus. "All right, I'm willing to try it. But you need to know, I don't have control over the noise. I'm not trying to keep anyone out, it's just a side effect." He sits up, and he beckons Maximus closer. "Let me see if I can quiet it down enough to for you to slip in." This is a bad idea. He knows it's a bad idea. He also has these self-destructive moments.
*
Maximus gives it a fair effort…to try to get in and just…wipe it. Its an assault attempt, rather than the same muscle to control. And when it doesn't even remotely work, he winces and brings his hand up to his head. "Nnnnnf…no…you, or it, fights frustratingly hard. It usually is not difficult at all. Lindon. I am going to leave. Its best, right now."
*
Lindon settles back and he sighs, part relief, part frustration. "All right. I'm sorry to be so difficult." Except he's not. Not usually. But seeing Maximus in such a state does give him a twinge of guilt. "I hope you find what you're looking for. Even though that might not be the best wish for the rest of the world."
*
"I know what I am looking for and I know it exists. Maybe it is you, maybe it is not, but I will find it, or I will invent it. Either way…I win. I always win. Even when I lose, I win." Maximus flashes a vague grin at Lindon. "I left the number of my new place on your kitchen counter. In case you get desperate." For what, he doesn't say.
*
Lindon smiles, a serene thing, really. When he's in self-destruct mode, someone like Maximus is his dream come true. "I know you will, Maximus," he says. Then his glance strays toward the kitchen. "If I move, I'll call you. I don't think it'll be you I'm running from."