1964-05-13 - Hooked On A Feeling
Summary: A search for a missing engagement ring and an attack by an interdimensional crab.
Related: N/A
Theme Song: Shiny - Jermaine Clement
kai loki lambert rogue 


The Boat Basin Cafe is one of those pretty little eateries on the Hudson River, parked alongside the end of 79th Street in a concrete conch. The patio is open-air, sheltered beneath wide umbrellas in signature green, lit by pretty floodlights. The view, of course, is the main reason people squeeze into the coveted tables. People are squeezed in elbow to elbow, but that's what happens in the Boat Basin. Breathtaking glimpses of sunsets streaking the sky are the perfect complement to beers, mouthwatering burgers, and fancier fare for those who want a good meal.

The walkway alongside the river gives a fine place for couples to stroll with an ice cream from a place opened late. Small pleasure-craft float up and down the dark river alongside freighters, specks of buoyant light. Fancy yachts epitomize money and glamour. People smoking and eating, chatting, and adoring one another add to the glitz and glamour. Here's a fancy watch, there's a proposal. The night is in full swing, darkening down, adding an air of intimacy.

*

Lambert is here by himself - eating out at another restaurant is rare, but he is being furtive. Oh, so _terribly_ furtive. Since Namor busted his ribs for serving calimari in his own restaurant, Lambert has been fastidiously avoiding doing it. Partly because he made a deal to seem friendly, partly because Lambert does not have any special healing factor. But that means…that means no buttery-soft calimari with delicate lemon sauces. That means no delightful, sweet white meat. Damn it! To be frank, even here at the Boat Basin Cafe? Lambert is too frightened of random Oceanic Godlings to eat octopus. So here he is, with his elbows neatly off the table, being served a massive crab with garlicky dipping sauce. Lambert sighs in contentment. Yeah. You can't get him here, Namor.

*

Loki has led Kai out here for…other reasons, less romantic and more…/distraction/ from terrible things that may be on Kai's mind. The beach. The intimate air. The surroundings of joy and whispering happiness…the /ice cream/. The brunette approaches the ice cream shop without even asking the gold-haired one, and simply buys two chocolate, and parts with one of them.

*

Kai hasn't had the greatest day. The little dog that usually accompanies him is at home. When asked if he wanted walkies, the dog grunted and fell asleep, so it's just a sad elf and his beloved prince. Who gets a wan smile when the ice cream is handed over. "I don't know what I would do without you," he says. "You've been so good to me today." He keeps his voice low. There are some things that shouldn't be overheard. He perks up a little as he looks into the cafe and says, "Is that Lambert? That's Lambert! He's the one with the Greek Restaurant. Cheating on himself, tch."

*

One of Lambert's ears - always hidden behind his fleecy curls so that it's pointed goatishness is unnoticed, twitches. His hearing is very good, even with them flattened to his hard skull. Oh God. Is that Namor? Can a man not just eat seafood in peace?! He glances up warily, holding a napkin like some sort of protective talisman, and then he glances around trying to spot the Atlantean. But with there no sign, he relaxes again, and swirls his glass of vino. Oh, but cheating is the _best_.

*

Chilled shrimp cocktails are the thing of the day. The menu features fried Rhode Island calamari and lump crab cocktails, but the crisp salads and gourmet sandwiches are much less appealing than the baskets of crispy fries and martini glasses overflowing with fat pink shrimp and marinara sauces sailing by to practically every other table. Behind Lambert sits a couple squeezed into a half table with a bottle of white wine — such a splurge — and one or two curlicues not doused in horseradish-spiked tomato are cause of a ruckus. A tiny ruckus thanks to the brown-haired fellow in a black sportcoat pushing his chair back and signalling one of the waiters. It's an obvious flick of his hand, repeated four or five times. A man comes forward with a rolling cart laden with desserts: a New York cheesecake, jello with whipped cream, a wobbly piece of pie. Strawberries arranged in a crown around chocolate torte.

"Anton, what are you doing?" asks the girl, holding her napkin.

"Sit, sit," Anton says. He licks his lips. "Barbara, I'm just getting some dessert."

"But you said we couldn't afford dinner," Barbara whispers, blushing behind her napkin.

The server stops. From under one of the arches, a harried chef steps out and tries to get his attention, but the waiter is oblivious.

*

Loki smiles and opens his mouth to say something intimate and quiet, but then…Kai sees something shiny. Or, in this case, something goat-y. He shifts his verdant gaze in that direction and then nods. "We should…give our greetings, closer." Putting a hand on the top of Kai's back for a few paces, he starts towards the other man, guiding, and the entire time, totally judging Lambert from head to toe that he can see of him.

*

Kai gazes up at Loki at the touch. He's not all that great at passing, not when he looks so adoringly at the other man. He licks around where the ice cream meets cone, staving off any drips. Then he starts in on the top. Mmm, ice cream. When the pair draw closer, he rubs a spot of ice cream off the tip of his nose with the back of his hand, and he says, "Hey, Lambert, does your gyro know you're cheating on it with a massive crab?" The banter comes naturally, but there's a lacklusterness to it. He's in mourning. Not that one can tell given how he usually dresses in black anyway. With a nod toward Loki, he adds, "This is my friend. The one I told you about."

*

Lambert's ears move a little, rotating slightly back towards Anton and companion. Dining and dashing is the sort of thing _he_ has a particular dislike for. Rent for a kitchen does not just pay itself automatically, after all. He half-glances back, swirling his own glass of wine, and looking at the shrimp cocktails. In ten years, those suckers will be _drowned_ with thousand island dressing and people will wonder where they went wrong. Now, though, they are quite the thing. He is surreptitious about trying to listen, and then he looks up as Kai arrives with a Loki. Lambert waves to Kai, with one bandaged hand "Why, hello - and no, shhh. Don't tell Saganaki. She's a jealous mistress." He flashes a brief - very brief - grin. Have to hide those slightly too sharp teeth "Nothing bad, I hope?" Lambert asks Loki with bright eyes, mischief in them. Then his glance goes to the pie. Mmmm. Delicious pie. Lambert sighs happily "Come and join me," he suggests to them "I will buy you coffee to go with your icecreams afterwards."

*

"Nothing bad at all, actually. Simply…that we should dine with you and that we should meet. So, now, the quest is complete and by far the easiest I have lately conquered." Loki just pours on a sort of diplomatic charm, a lilt to his voice that simply INSISTS that this go well. If Kai has lost one friend tonight, he will not have drama with another one.

*

The cart rolls to a stop just short of Lambert, pushed by the waiter. He nods to Barbara and Anton, then gestuers. "Today's special is the fresh chocolate strawberry gateau for two. The lady's choice?"

Barbara flashes a wide-eyed look and a sunny smile. She skims a look askance, sensing something about the situation. Kai might recognize her nervousness for what it is. "Yes. The cake would be wonderful, I think. Just a piece?"

Anton is half up and half out of the seat, hovering over the table. Boyish uncertainty clamours against his obvious rush, especially with more people getting close. He checks his wrist three times and nods.

The cake is set down in front of the pretty brunette. A flourish leaves the strawberries gleaming around a chocolate satin bed. Anton goes down on one knee. "Barbara, I'm not a man of many words." Coughing into his sleeve, he reaches for a berry. "Will you marry… Where… where's the ring?"

The server freezes and stares at the top of Lambert's head. Across the way, the chef is busy waving his hand still. He mouths, "Wait!" but far, far too late.

About that point, the sunset blur on the Hudson River begins to seethe and melt into a puddle that at least sets off Loki's senses as completely off. The boats moored in the basin start to bob about frantically at their quays, while the pleasure craft throw light off another glittering light. Is it a sub? Is it a serenely sailing boat that finally turned on her lights?

No. Not quite.

*

Kai has to restrain himself from just slipping an arm around Loki in comfortable companionability. It's a constant struggle in public. Someday, maybe, but not today. Glancing toward Barbara and Anton, he gives the former a small smile and a reflexive wink. Then Anton proposes. There it is. Kai leans his shoulder against Loki's lightly, and he says, "Bertie here has great food, and he lets me play guitar there." Then the boats are bobbing, and Loki can feel him tense as he looks toward the water. Is it a sub? Are the Ruskies here to kill another one of his friends?

*

Lambert says to Loki "You should! At my restaurant - tell me the sort of thing you like, and I'll see what I can do!" There is, alas, no sign at all that he has much idea of what 'Loki' means as a name. He just seems to be cheerily reacting as if he had been introduced to a new friend. And then he says "My quests are less exciting - mostly around -" He is about to comment, when he sees the cake, the proposal, and the…lack of a ring. Oh, uh. Hmm? He is looking up now at the chef, and Lambert clears his throat "Oh dear!" Under his breath he asides to the two "This would never happen at _my_ restaurant." Mostly because there are only three staff at the tiny place. There is something happening out on the water, but Lambert is digging in his pockets. No, noting that can be used as a ring. Damnit. The satyr-man looks slightly forlorn. Romance being quashed? That's terrible!

*

Loki changes his grip to be more firm on Kai's shoulder, and then he reaches out to grab for Lambert's arm as well. "There is something coming." Suddenly ominous and serious. "If it is a wave…there is nothing we can do for these people." Which suggests there is something he can do for their trio.

*

Deep indigo makes for excellent natural concealment in the dirty Hudson. Foaming wavelets crest against the crab's shell and it jauntily marches up the embankment. Most boats wouldn't barge through other boats, especially nicely tied up ones. However, one big dripping segmented leg appears out of the water to submerge a particularly ugly sailboat called LUCKY CHARM and then another tip feels around before landing down between two more. Given the thing is at least the size of a barge, it's no mere crustacean coming to check out the dessert cart. Water streams off its shell and the behemoth getting closer and closer is clearly very tall, sufficiently so that it stands well over the terrace despite being in the basin. Eyestalks wobble around, iridescent green eyes peering at all the interesting sights.

Like diners clutching their hamburgers and their shrimp cocktails in numb fingers. A few seats collapse as New Yorkers decide now is the best time to run. Cue horrified shrieks and shouts about paying tabs, as the exodus nearest to the waterfront begins.

Anton stares with burning focus on the server, who is trying not to get the chef's eye. The man in a white apron wades through the stunned masses making their exit. "I don't know where it went!" shouts the pastry chef. "It was there when the tray was loaded, but Merle said he didn't see it on the way out."

Barbara is busy staring in wonder at Anton, and the crab is staring most curiously at everything, cracking concrete and sloshing around. The statically chirpy crackle originating from it sounds like a babbly giggle from a lamb at the bottom of the sea.

*

It says something about Kai, something profound, that his first instinct is to run toward the crab, not away. It's a good thing he's in Loki's grasp or he'd be in trouble. "We have to do something," he whispers intently, "these people can be saved!" He looks to Lambert. "What can you do besides cook? Grab a shell-cracker. We've got work to do."

*

"But - what -" says Lambert to Loki "A tidal wav-" He really is more concerned about the botched engagement. Until he spots the crab. As Kai speaks, Lambert does something. He delicately takes the napkin off his neck, and carefully drapes it over the half eaten crab shell on his plate, hiding it completely.

*

Loki widens his eyes. "Ah…yes, actually…a massive beast is preferrable to a wave we can do nothing about. Though, by what I am seeing…this will be a formidable enemy. Not of this realm…" He lets go of the men, though he does look with some concern for the two of them. He brushes his hand along Kai's shoulder. "It seems to have a collection on its back. Give it no reason to see something it wants." He speaks it generally, but he looks meaningfully at Kai. You know…the guy that glows for a living and has a shiny golden apple.

*

Kai snaps up a nearby shellcracker and presses it into Lambert's hand. "Go for the eyes. I believe in you," he tells him. The look he gives Loki is hapless and innocent. He'd never! Though he can't do much about the golden hair. It's attached. As he sizes up their otherworldly foe, he takes another lick off his ice cream cone. He's not throwing that thing away, damn it. It's chocolate. "I can hit it with waves," he says. "Knock boats into it, keep it distracted."

*

Facing a giant crab might be a problem. Especially one with walking legs individually thick around as Loki and Kai together. Lokai? It shuffles up onto the ribbon of concrete for the waterfront pedestrian route and then proceeds to march right into the Bay Basin Cafe like it had a reservation. Joke's on the giant hermit crab. They don't take reservations.

Anton grabs Barbara by the wrist, his confidence brutally shaken, pulling her bodily away from the dessert cart. She casts a wide-eyed look over her shoulder. "W-was this your surprise? Anton, this isn't funny!"

The stalwart server near the men loses his composure and rips off his black smock, stamping on it. "I quit. I won't serve that or any other mutant. Our cheesecake is purchased from DeMarco's bakery!" And with that, he runs along with the throng making its exodus through four archways, all of which are glorious chokepoints.

Other diners hide under tables. They cower behind chairs, two industrious students pulling together several to make a barrier, chair-legs out. The crab ignores this all, shuffling around left and right, moving in curious circles after something. Those green eyes peer separately from one either, one stalk staring over the section to its left and the other straight ahead. Piles of water spill off its hindtail, and several nacreous bits of junk flail around behind it. Like a handsome, soggy striped awning; a shining chain, an anchor stuck to the side. All the things atop it might look like craggy bits of a shell, and in some way they are. Though how on earth it shellacked a theatre marquee sign to itself, well, that's a story for another time.

"Where's the ring?" hisses Anton at the chef. The chef throws his hands up.

*

"Is that…blue shagpile carpet up there?" demands Lambert, who seems to find it of some personal offence. And then he looks at Loki, and he opens his mouth, then closes it. Lambert eyes the shellcracker in his hand, and then he says "Er. Well, I can _get_ up there just fine. But I'd prefer to headbutt it, frankly." He tucks the cracker into his back pocket, and then he says "Maybe it's not malevolent? I mean, maybe it just wants some garlic sauce? Er, if we can get it drunk - and me - it will probably do what I want. Does anyone have five thousand litres of beer?" He runs his fingers through his curly hair, and his pointed elfy-goat ears pop out as Lambert tugs on them "I can climb or get up just about anythin'," he tells Kai and Loki "But…seriously, what if it's just looking for a mate? Or something?" And then the crab is there, and Lambert stares at it. Well, heck. This is not _his_ restaurant.

"Welcome to the -" What is it called again?! "Bay - Cafe! Would you like to know the specials?" says the chef, who adds "Er, this venue asks that you not smoke inside."

*

Headbutting a crab at least as tall as a two storey house may be a bit of a challenge, but not an impossible one.

*

Loki nods faintly to Lambert as he offers and then attempts to negotiate with it. Since the fellow seems to be able to handle himself, and confident, Loki trusts him in that regard, while he looks around for a sturdier weapon. He settles on a boardwalk lamp, long, tall, thin, hooked at the top and dangling a light like an angler fish. Its a little long, but Loki rips it off the dock and railing anyway. Ironic that it looks like a giant fishhook.

*

"We can try to lure it back to the ocean," Kai says. "Look at all the shinies on that thing, though." Kay starts picking out his souvenirs in advance as he looks the creature over. "All right, I'll steer it away from the restaurant." Didn't Loki just tell him not to do anything to draw its attention? Kai flashes Loki a smile and tells him, "You're brilliant." It's the first real smile he's had today. One more lick of ice cream then he slips away. He doesn't go running for the creature. He's a bit brighter than that. Rather, he jogs down the beach a bit, looking for something to hide behind, but from where he's not too far from the water.

*

The giant blue crab shuffles forward, crushing a table and casting off a chair from its way. Poking around the furniture only serves to leave exposed diners shrieking and cowering, hands over their head. One of them, a man about forty, gets pulled out and the eyestalks pivot very curiously upon him.

"I don't wanna die! Take Bobby, take Bobby, anyone but me!" cries the diner, holding up his hands above his head. The huge pincer easily spans his waist, and the crab turns him sideways, giving him a good little shake.

"Don't kill meeeee!" sounds really stupid when a crab steals your belt. The surprising care the crab uses to pull off the leather strap is significant, and the oval metal buckle shines in the air. The man is put down, and the buckle stuck to its enormous shell among the other nacreous goo.

It continues on its path, pushing along a few more tables in a building flood of debris in the direction of Lambert's table. The dessert cart shines down there. Bottles of wine crash to the ground, forming a trail of glassy tears to follow.

Noisy chittering continues, up and down, pitch wobbling all over. Fully on the terrace by now, the giant crab is the terrace for all it matters. The not-quite-engaged couple are hidden behind a pillar, and the chef is still yelling, "I don't know where it went! This rush! Where is that useless waiter?"

A curious turn shuffles another chair. It goes flying at Loki. Hey, being big as a house means the turning circle of a house. It peers at the elf. It chitters noisily again.

*

"Alright, that thing can't talk," decides Lambert, who is oblivious to things like: Polynesian languages and Gods Not Caring About Mortals. He turns, and is about to comment something to Loki when he spots that the man has just. Ripped up a _lamp post_. Lambert's mouth falls open. How strong do you have to be to do that?! "It likes shiny things!" he calls out to Loki "I think!" Which Lambert has none of. He jumps up to the top of a table with surprising agility, then bounds twice over a few others towards Kai "Everyone out - run, run! Just run away! Argh - you'll get hurt with all this stuff - just - " Wait. Did that crab murder the pie? Lambert hesitates for a moment with a fragmentary edge of profound grief on his face. Oh, oh pie. Lambert dashes for the shiniest thing in the local area - Kai - and he waves his arms "Hey, glow-bug! Light it up! -"

*

Loki shifts his shoulders, holding the hooked lamp post and he watches verrrry carefully as Kai runs off, and Lambert does too. No pressure, Loki. Just…two important people at stake if you don't come through on your end of this deal. He waits for the crab to be distracted by Kai and Lambert, waiting to attack the crab from behind with his hook of doom. Of course he can't fly, so…he's going to have to climb it. "There are legends of me defeating worse…" he encourages himself.

*

Kai looks at Lambert. Looks at Loki. "Sorry, mate!" he calls out to the latter, and he starts to glow, silvery pale moonlight bathing him in a shimmering aura. "Hey!" he calls to the crab, waving his arms. "Hey, over here, fella. Come get the shiny!" Then he runs for the docks. The further he can get toward the water, the better, right? "Bertie, you'd better headbutt it good!" he calls as he makes a break for it.

*

Those big green eyes glow like animated gas. The clickety-click of its mouth clearly vocalizes something, more like the concept of "WHERE!?" in blinding bright letters, over and over, for anyone capable of comprehending the crab's interdimensional language.

It nudges away another table, throwing one of those empty cocktail glasses on the ground. Shrimp are summarily pounded flat, and a dish of butter smashed. One pincer gets atop the row of brick arches folding in the terrace, and how that looks to people on the other side at street level is immediately clarified: "The Soviets are invading us with a mechanical crab, Laura. Run!"

But then Kai is glowing. The crab perks. Literally stops sweeping its pincer around the top of the brick wall and ignores Lambert entirely, rotating around lickety-split. The big ol' post in its way earning a brief survey. One pincer snaps around the makeshift hook and lifts it up, carrying along the man who holds it unless Loki decides to get free. Otherwise he's being hauled along by an eagerly galloping crab shouting "WHERE?! YOU HAVE A SHINY! WHERE WHERE WHERE?!" at the shrill of a broken tornado siren.

One pincer still available. It's used to helpfully bash things out of the way, like power line pole and a tray full of salad. Leaves fly into the air. "«Shiny! Shinies are beautiful!»"

*

Lambert runs out, following Kai, bounding along. He clears a wooden pylon neatly, and then vaults over a fallen table. Over his shoulder he spots Loki, being dangled on that lamp post, and Lambert says to Kai "I don't…know if I can get through…something _that_ strong!" He has headbutted all kinds of things, but he does not have horns like his Grandfather… Lambert skids along, until he can turn, stop, and then begin running back at the massive crab, head lowered. He is intending to run straight up its massive legs with jumps and acrobatic bounds to try to smack it between the eyes with his preternaturally hard head.

*

Loki is hefted up and was NOT expecting that. He does hold on. Its his weapon, his ONLY weapon at the moment. So, the grab has a hook and a dangling Loki. Now…the godling is smart, too, and since the crab has collected so many wonderful glittery things, he does look down at that shiny shell to see if there's something cooler, like..excaliber, or…a spear. "Oh…whoa….whoa…."

*

The shell of the house-sized crustacean contains a marquee sign, multiple street signs in myriad languages, piles of coinage, the belt buckle, and heaps upon heaps of random jewelry. It has a sculpture of a metal duck. Over there might be a chromed bumper and a gate that practically glows with magic — anti-corroding. The spear of destiny? No, that's just a lovely Lucerne axe stolen from one of the Pope's guards. A can opener. Things Loki might be puzzled to see the use of. No Excalibur, alas, but he can find at least forty-three mirrors.

*

…and a frying pan.

*

Kai calls out, "You be careful with him!" when he sees that Loki is being dangled. "He's my shiny!" He waves his arms. "Over here, let's all just be calm and reasonable." He hisses an aside to Lambert, "Knock him silly." Then Kai starts patting down his pockets. What does he have? Hmm. A few coins. Those are shiny. Gum wrappers. Those are shiny. He uncrumples them. "Look, you can have these if you leave this city alone!" He waves them, and they glint off his light. Still, he's the shiniest thing there at the moment.

*

The satyric creature manages to kick off a parasol-covered table and hit the crab in the joint of the knee, head on. Nowhere _near_ the eyes. _Clonk_ he goes, bouncing off and landing back on his feet with a low skid. He bounces off back towards Kai, flailing. Lambert does not have allspeak. Lambert just says to Kai "Er, he's awful _big_. Wait. I think he's got a weakness." Lambert suddenly yells shrilly "FOR FIFTY THOUSAND LITRES OF GARLIC BUTTER, DO YOU HAVE ANY?!"

*

Coins, bah. Shiny light show and glittery hair do a crab's dreams make. It sweeps around the hook bit while gesticulating the way that giant crabs do. For almost everyone, the clicking picks up in tempo, staccato noises squealing in vibrations. For the Asgardian and ljosalf: "Where is the shiny!? Where? Show! The shiny is mine, BRIGHT SHINY HELLO." It runs around in a circle and destroys some premium concrete, ripping out a retaining wall without even trying when Lambert bonks off a highly armoured appendage. The problem with crustaceans: they're all hard shell.

Another umbrella snaps and goes down as the exciteable giant sea-spider searches around. Its pincers go airborne — Loki on pole with it — when Lambert shouts incoherent little sounds. Green eyes flash back down at the smaller man. "PRETTY SHINY! My shiny is for me, where are you? O PRECIOUS SHINY, MY LOVE FOR ME!"

Meanwhile, in the crushed assemblage of furniture, Barbara is peeking over the table. "He's so majestic! Look at him!"

Anton's mouth is a flat line, his eyes narrowed. Debris of a broken meal is scattered all over him, and a fork sticks up from his dark hair. He brushes off the crumbs.

*

Loki can hear what the crab is saying and from what happened earlier, he puzzles out what he thinks could be…the whole reason the crab has come. "Do you think?" he yells at Lambert and Kai, "That it wants an engagement ring? The ring went missing, and…maybe that woman can summon giant crabs when she's distressed about something! Maybe this is a lady crab and she just wants her ring! I don't know. Lambert, propose to it!"

*

Loki dangles, still, for a little, and then tries to jump onto the back of the crab, trying to land with the most stability on all fours.

*

"Maybe we can bribe him with it," Kai calls back. Then, to Lambert, "Go get the ring," he says. "Barbara will survive the loss." He watches Loki land, and he whistles low, impressed. The theory the dark prince states doesn't get so much as a raised brow from Kai. It wouldn't even be the weirdest thing he's heard this week. "The ring!" he says again. "I'll keep him distracted." Glowing away, he waves his arms. "Hey there! I'm shiny! Look how shiny!" He jumps up and down. Shiny and moving!

*

The fact is, she is probably too fickle for Anton, and Lambert would assure him of that if he could. Might say that a woman who wants a giant crustacean should probably head to mutant town, for a start - there might be others there? Lambert stares up at the crackling, crickling language "Uhhh," he says, rubbing his temples. He is not the least hurt himself, with the way his skull is formed. Lambert considers, then starts bouncing up and down on his legs, ready to try again - and then he hears Loki. Lambert hesitates. He has no idea who Loki is - a 'nice misunderstood guy', according to Kai. So, you know. Trustworthy. "They _lost_ the ring!" he gestures back to the helpless chef, and then he hesitates, and he slides his Grandfather's ring - marked with the sign of the Olympians. It has no intrinsic power, as far as he knows, but Lambert glances at Kai "…uhhhhh." He pauses, then he holds it up "Err…I don't know you. And this is crazy? BUT HERE'S A RING - MARRY ME MAYBE?!"

*

"SHINY! Yes. SHINY! Where? Oh my pretty!" It turns halfway and eyes the one corner of the cafe it hasn't clobbered. Those archways might need some investigation, where twenty people are hiding between all four of them. Kai is very close to losing its attention as it reaches out the unoccupied front claw to shuffle about, poking about the nearest-most just in case shiny lives in that corner.

The crab's other pincer is waved around to gesticulate, or because it finds the notion of having umbrellas around offensive. "VERY SHINY HERE? WHAT? THIS IS NOT A SPARKLY, STAY YOU TWO-LEGS." Either way, Loki is going to have to climb up the lampstand and over the pincer or throw himself onto its broad back. Does he dare get through the giant clacker? Otherwise he is swung through the air, the animated reaction to someone apparently making itself known to him — Allspeak is wonderful for that — thrilled. The landing may be neat but he's still at risk of a giant metal lamppost he ripped free impaling him randomly on accident.

To Lambert and rest of the world, chittering and dancing on its claw-points is really quite terrifying no doubt.

Unfortunately for Loki, that nacreous stuff all over the crab's broad shell glues the shining clutter to its body. The iridescent blue extrusions are worse than goo: industrial strength glue, effectively, but thick and transparent to allow for the greatest appreciation of its collection!

And there's Lambert offering a pretty shiny. One stalk peers at it. Its mouth clitter-chatters, and blows out a cloud of blue-indigo glitter all over Kai. All those legs do a dance. "FOR ME? YES! HAPPY SHINY DAY."

Lambert Crabhusband's proposal is accepted. Even if it's still feeling around for something.

*

"Find it!" Kai says, but then there's the proposal, and he stares at Lambert. "What?!" He coughs up a puff of glitter. "Lucky you, congratulations, you weirdo! Find the ring! Look in the kitchen!" Hell, he starts yelling at the crab, "Look in the kitchen! Be careful, don't hurt anyone!"

*

"Find - what - I mean, didn't someone -" Didn't the waiter steal it? Oh man, what _is_ happening? Lambert stares up at the horrifying, terrifying animal. Okay. Whatever. That. Means? Who knows! Lambert turns and dives back towards the kitchens frantically to look for the engagement ring. He has, unfortunately for the supernaturals around, started giggling in fear. Because this entire scenario is nothing like what he had expected his lunch to go like.

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