1964-07-30 - The Inevitable Conversation
Summary: Lindon and Maximus discuss the state of them.
Related: None
Theme Song: None
maximus lindon 

Lindon has called ahead to say he's bringing dinner. Lamont is off doing something tonight, and Lindon more and more tries to get out rather than being alone. How utterly unlike him. He's brought groceries, tucked on one arm as he lets himself in, though he knocks first before he opens the door. "It's Lindon," he calls. One must not sneak up on brooding kings.

A depressed Maximus is quite a thing. He is dressed in a gown, but he's not making any effort to pass, with a stubble on his face, and his hair just…all disheveled like he hasnt bothered to try to fix it today, some bits are still slicked back from last night's excursion. He's watching TV, his lips red, with overdone make-up on his eyes. He KNOWS he's not going out today. This is a 'fuck the world' sort of look for the nutjob. "Its YOUR apartment…" he calls back, singsong.

"You're my guest," Lindon says as he steps in, and he smiles at the poor, depressed Inhuman. "I thought you might like some dinner, so I brought over the makings of a proper shepherd's pie." He's Irish Catholic. Take away the Catholic and there's still the Irish. "How are you feeling?" he asks, giving Maximus and his ensemble an uncertain look.

"Shitty. Do you know that literally every decent person in this town is taken? This is a ridiculous situation. i want to go home. And my brother…saw him…no hug, nothing. Just…/fussed at me/. UGH. I am miserable. I tell you…" Maximus closes his eyes and frowns. "Whatever Shepherd's pie is…I assume it will be good. I…appreciate that."

"Fussing can be a sign of affection," Lindon says. He sets out the ingredients, washes his hands, then get to cooking. "It's delicious," he says. "Stewed lamb covered with mashed potatoes and baked until it's all nice and tender." He slices up the lamb shank, and he thinks. After a moment, he says, "There are decent sorts out there, and, I mean, /I/ think you're interesting and attractive, so I don't see why someone wouldn't like you that way."

"Yes, but you are also taken. I am incredibly aware of it, believe me." Maximus grumbles. Then he throws his heel at the TV to get it to change channels.

"Well, yes but Lamont has an interesting idea of what that means. He thinks it's selfish to say you can only have affection for one person. He has his affair and I…" He grins a little despite himself. "I might have strayed a little. He doesn't mind." He grimaces as the heel whacks the TV. "Do you want me to change that?"

That gets Maximus' attention and he turns to look at Lindon there in the kitchen. "/You/ strayed? You…took a different lover." He lids his eyes, considering it. "Who? I almost don't believe you." He taunts.

Lindon glances up at Maximus, and he's got a secretive smile. "You probably don't know him. He's a doctor. We're friends, and then we exchanged letters, and there's just something fundamentally romantic about exchanging letters, I think. Then we met to discuss a few things, and one thing led to another." His cheeks color, and he turns his attention back to making dinner, slicing up carrots for the dish.

"And what do you do…when he wants to take you on a boating trip, or move to Paris? Then what do you do? Tell him that..oh…so sorry, I actualy like this other fellow a lot better than you?" Maximus frowns.

"There's an understanding of prior commitments," Lindon says. "He may find a permanent lover he wants to become monogamous with, and I'll understand. He might move to Paris, and I'll still write letters. He understands I'm with Lamont. It's a different kind of relationship." His cheeks are crimson, and he pays a lot of attention to what he's cooking.

Maximus gets up and moves towards the TV to change the channel on his own. "I suppose…if that's the arrangement ahead of time. I am afraid that I like you too well. I would certainly become too attached." Red lips smile faintly.

Lindon blinks a few times and looks at Maximus. "You like me?" he asks. He's always the last to know these things. He starts assembling things in the pot, cooking what needs cooked first. It smells savory, with fresh herbs chopped in. "I had no idea," he says, and he grins despite himself. "I like you, too. I understand if, I mean whatever you want…" So awkward. "I don't think you'd get too attached."

"Do you? Just…not as much as you like Lamont. I think my ego may be too large for that to not be a heartbreak." Max leans on the counter, casually, just a big, hot mess. "I like you too much…thats why I need to move out."

Lindon claims he understands whatever Maximus wants, but he looks away, and his big dark eyes give him the look of a kicked puppy. "Oh," he says. He stops what he's doing (mashing potatoes in this case), and just stands there for a bit. "Oh," he murmurs. "I hate to see you go."

Maximus starts to color in his own face as he looks at Lindon and his face falls to a very relaxed, expression. He can feel his chest tighten up. "I do not have…good luck. I keep…no, it makes sense. I want what other people also want. Good taste, they call it."

Lindon swallows hard, and he nods a little. "I understand," he says quietly. "I… I want to tell you it's not a matter of someone mattering more or less, just that it's different, but yes, at the end of the day I will go back to Lamont. It's not fair to you, but when you move out, that will be the end of it, won't it? Will you ever want to see me again?" He looks so lost, poor thing. He resumes making the shepherd's pie, though. No reason to let all that food go to waste.

Maximus leans heavier on the counter. "Is there some reason I would not wish to see you again? I am only protecting myself, Lindon. And, honestly, had I another lover, then it would not be a problem. Perhaps…you should find me a date."

Lindon laughs a little, helplessly, and he says, "Someone you'll take on because he's more available." He puts the pot in the oven so it can bake properly. He washes his hands, dries them, and then he finds himself with nothing else to do but lean against the counter next to Maximus. "If I knew anyone in my life outside of a small handful, I would find you a date. Because I care about you."

"What about your…single…new lover? What's /he/ like?" Maximus taunts again, waggling his brows.

Lindon smiles a little, nudging Maximus with his shoulder. "He's secretive," he says. "But he's intelligent, sophisticated, though he's a bit of a loner. We met at a bar one night by chance, and a couple days later we went for a walk and got to know each other. He's… different. Rather pale. I think he's handsome."

"Pale secret-keeper?" Maximus seems skeptical. "Well, I am glad you found him to be attractive enough to finally get some use out of your sexual freedom." He feels that clenching in his chest again. "How long before the pie is done?"

"It will be about an hour," Lindon says. He glances at Maximus, that sad puppy look in those big brown eyes. "He pursued me," he says, "and I… It felt nice to be chased. Realistically, we're good friends. He has no aspirations." He's not sure what else to say.

Sad puppy look? Its hardly fair. "That must be nice…to be pursued. I think its my hair." Maximus flicks his messy hair with a toss of his head. "Like I told your lover though, I will get there. I just need to be more…helpless, and shy, like you."

Lindon says, "I'm not…" But even he can hear it in his tone, and he glances aside. Shy. "I think your hair look fine," he says. "You and Lamont spoke?" He licks his dry lips, then murmurs, "I'll make us tea," He's not sure he trusts his idle hands, so he reaches for the tea kettle.

"Yes, I went to talk to him because I wanted to be sure that he was…honest…and cared about you as much as you care about him. I had to know that, so that I could sort of…let go. Otherwise, if I had found him lacking, I would have absolutely tried to steal you." Maximus grins a little. "What are friends for?"

Lindon smiles, sadly, and nods. He puts on the kettle. "I wish it didn't have to be so absolute. I know I'm a poor substitute for a real lover, but I could live with being a poor substitute. I had no idea your feelings for me were so strong. I thought that maybe if you wanted to spend a little time, to slake your temporary loneliness. I didn't know there was something deeper."

|ROLL| Maximus +rolls 1d20 for: 3

Maximus cracks a little, when Lindon says he didn't know. "But I warned you…over and over, that you were flirting, and being attractive. How could you not know that I was attracted to you?" His steel eyes grow bright. "How…how can you look sad…when you have…not one, but two lovers?! And you want me too…in some sort of…harem. A harem of you getting everything that you ever wanted. Ahhh…I am so jealous of you, I want YOUR life. And you are upset that you just don't have one extra substitute lover for when you are feeling like…what? I do not even know what gap I fill that Lamont is incapable of. We are actually a lot alike."

"I thought it was offending you because you didn't like it," Lindon says. "Didn't like me." He shakes his head. "That's not what I want." He's trying to hold it together, because he's a man, damn it, and men don't have feelings this deep. He leans on the counter and takes several deep breaths. There's a tremor in his voice, and he can't bring himself to look at Maximus as he says, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you so unhappy. I just… I have no excuse. I'm a horrible person."

Maximus swallows and then reaches out to try and grab Lindon's shoulder, so that he can turn him to look at him. If he can manage it, he leans in and tries to kiss the sadface right on the mouth. "Why do you feel like this? Why's the one person taht wants me…only sort of wants me?"

Lindon is taken by surprise easily enough, and he doesn't think, he just responds to the kiss by trying to draw it out. "It's not sort of," he says unsteadily. "I've had this ridiculous crush on you for ages. Even when you're telling me how terrible I am, I only want to take care of you. You're not some substitute for Lamont. You're you and you're intense, and I think about you all the time."

Maximus stands close to him, frowning, staring at the other man. He's obviously thinking about it, and…waffling, trying to war with temporarily getting what he wants, only if he knows it'll make it harder in the end. "You're doing it again." He finally says, softly.

Lindon smiles just a little. "Yeah?" he says. He tentatively raises a hand to cup Maximus' cheek. "Do you want me to stop?" He's not used to thinking too far into the future, to be honest. He's still wrapping his head around the idea he might have one. "All I know is there's no one else like you."

Maximus closes his eyes when Lindon touches him. "Thank you. I have been in a terrible mood all day. This helps some. You do have to stop, Lindon. I made a promise. Perhaps Lamont senses how you care. He seemed…nervous. But, I have tried to take someone away, and it did not work. All people wonder what it would be like to have the grass on the other side of the fence, but if you are happy, perhaps it will be better, not just for me, but for both of us, once there is more space between us. I have managed to be friends with Strange."

Lindon lets his hand drop, and he nods, lowering his gaze. "I'm going to miss you," he says quietly. His eyes glitter wetly, but he turns away before any tears can threaten to fall. Men don't cry. The kettle startles to whistle, and he turns it off, fumbling for tea cups in the cupboard. "I'm glad you're friends again," he says trying to converse with a rasp in his voice.

"I am having a hard time understanding this. Its very confusing to me." Maximus takes a step back and his breath comes a little quicker. "Why do you care so much when…you have someone you…also. I get…physical things. But this is different. I'm not like you. I have a mind that is…fractured, and unstable. I would /definitely/ fall so completely and so hard that…I would ruin your life, Lindon." He puts his hands on the counter to keep them to himself.

"I don't understand how the heart works," Lindon says. "I can tell you it's all hormonal, but what causes these reactions, I don't know. I care about you. Caring about Lamont doesn't make me suddenly stop caring about other people. Set the physical aside, I like you. A lot. If this would hurt you, then what can I do? I can't contribute to that. Not if I really care about you. If it breaks my heart, that's my own selfishness."

"How about you give me some time to find my own Lamont, hmm? I am not leaving tomorrow. I need to…find someone that no one will miss an dsteal their apartment, as I did the last one." Maximus replies. "Maybe you'll change your mind…" He grabs a cloth to wipe his lipstick off on it.

Lindon wipes his mouth with the back of his hand to take up the lipstick that smeared from their kiss. "Do what you have to do," he says quietly. "I can just leave this all here. Check it in an hour, it should be done." Tea is on the counter, and he starts to clean up. "I don't know what my mind is going to do. Right now, I just want to forget I ever said a word."

Maximus frowns again. "And I feel like an idiot, so…that makes two of us." The former King turns around to head back to the couch, to sulk in his own sulky way.

"You're not an idiot," Lindon says. "I am. We had a good friendship, but I just had to open my big mouth. Because I'm selfish, and I don't think." He doesn't think. Him. All he is is a big brain with no concept of how to handle emotion, but he still has the huge inconvenience of having it. "And now I've hurt you, and I've made it awkward, and you haven't done anything wrong. You're the only one between us with any sense."

"We still have a friendship. I don't understand why you can't get it, Lindon. Every day…I fall more for you. I already told Lamont. I already decided to move out because its getting worse. It has…you are just you. That's all. And I am an idiot, for not…being able to control where my feelings go. You obviously like me too, but…its not what I can live with. I don't want to be in love with someone, to whom I am merely second place. That's terrible." Maximus rubs at his face.

"I know that now," Lindon says. "I can see how you'd feel like second best. I don't know what to tell you. Of course you have my friendship, but I'm mortified that, what you said about a harem, that that's what you think of me." Oh yes, Catholic boy had held on fast to all that blame cast at him earlier. "I'm not leaving because I don't care about you. I'm leaving because I can't conscience inflicting myself on you."

"This is your apartment. Why would you leave at all? That does not make any sense. This is why I am single, I suppose, because I spout off things. If all you hear is that, echoing in your ears, instead of the other things I have said…then I guess I've done a fine job of giving you some things to dislike me over. Just…let me know when the pie is done and we'll start over. What a fucking mess." Maximus's words seem…disjointed, like stream of consciousness rather than being anything well thought out or even…related. "I'd kill myself, but then who would everyone insult and disrespect? And who would save my brother from…himself. Even /that/ idiot has managed to get himself a girlfriend. Idiot. UGH. Tra-fucking-la."

Lindon shakes his head and says, "I don't dislike you." What he doesn't say is he wants to go somewhere to cry like a big fat baby where no one — even Lamont — will ever, ever know. "It's myself I've never been overly fond of." He closes his eyes, takes a few deep breaths. Then he takes up Maximus' tea and brings it to him. "Please don't kill yourself," he says calmly. "I would be very upset."

Aside from seeming upset, Maximus' feelings are wrapped up real tight, and its hard to know what he's really thinking. He can tell that Lindon is upset too, about the whole thing, and he brims with a weird sort of frustration. "Everyone else is fond of you though, so…there's that." He takes the tea and adjusts his gown on his legs so that he can see more comfortably.

Lindon says nothing to that, only offering a small smile. "Let me get dinner finished," he says quietly, and he goes to put together something he can call dessert later. It keeps his hands busy, and it gives him some distance to compose himself. He can get his feelings under wraps with a little time and distraction. It makes dinner go a heck of a lot better.

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