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It had been a rough few days since Lorna had been well and truly awakened in the medbay. That her mind had been run roughshod by a psonic mutant really hadn't been kept quiet. Her powers were erratic. And more than once she'd accidentally tipped over the flatware, knocked over a lamp, or set the TV flipping through channels when she'd become teary eyed. Yet so far there hadn't been more destruction. If she truly lost control she could easily take out the whole house.
Walking on eggshells was putting it lightly when it came to some of the other students in the house.
The green haired mutant walked around listlessly, still in pajamas, her hair braided back by someone in concern. Her barefeet trod lightly on the wooden floor boards, and more than once she was found curled up at the base of a chair or on steps, crying softly to herself.
For now, it was late morning, and Lorna had slept in past breakfast. But it didn't seem likely she would've eaten it anyways. Depression was a cruel mistress and the fact that she got up at all was a drain on her emotional state. Between a chair and a window, Lorna had crouched down, her knees drawn close and her arms curled up at her chest. This time, at least, she wasn't crying. Just staring out at the opposite wall before her. Silent.
There are a few people that know what Lorna might be going through and feeling. Being kidnapped and tortured sadly isn't as rare as it should be, even among the small number of people that call the Xavier mansion 'home'. Warren Worthington is one of those people, only recently having been returned from the clutches of…someone. Someone who had done horrible things to his body in conjunction with his mind.
Making his way down the hallway from the gym, the blue skinned millionaire rubs at his longish blonde hair with a towel, seemingly coming fresh from a workout. He is dressed in a pair of shorts and an a-frame shirt that loosely covers his torso.
The man formerly known as Angel pauses as he comes across Lorna, his head angling to the side slightly in a quizzical nature as he drapes the towel over the back of his neck, letting it fall over his shoulders. "Lorna, right?" he says in a slightly quieter tone than his normal speaking voice, but not by much. He starts to walk over in her direction, "Yeah…you're her. I only got a good look at you from above. You know, there is a perfectly good chair just next to you."
Lorna shifted, her gaze still lingering on the wall opposite of her, despite the fact that Warren was as lit up as a Christmas tree to her senses. She knew he was there and coming long before her eyes would've told her. The metal of his wings was a constant presence to her senses. Just as Akihiro or Logan's skeletal structure was when they were near.
"..It's too soft." She whispered, finally green eyes darted up to glance his way, not moving from her position otherwise.
"We've met before that. It's okay that you don't remember. My hair was brown. You really only stopped to chat with me over my volunteer work." She shrugged and trailed off, her chin coming to rest against her folded arms.
"Yeah well, my brain hasn't exactly been firing on all cylinders, as Diz might say. I have bits and pieces of things I just can't recall." Warren says with a bit of a roll of his shoulder before reaching a hand up to comb though his damp hair, brushing back away from his face. "Maybe it will come back to me someday, who knows. I guess Charles could probably root around in there and find it, but I am not sure I want those back. I have enough of a constant reminder everytime I look in a mirror."
He takes a couple of steps in her direction, squatting down when he reaches a couple of feet away to look at her more directly in the face without her having to look up at him. "To soft, huh? What, you prefer the whole bed of nails vibe? You don't strike me as a masochist."
Lorna's lips thinned and she picked at the fabric of her pajama pants. Her gaze lowering from the wall as she fell silent for a long moment. The ticking of the hallway clock could be heard mutedly. "..I remember too much." She mumbled, "I saw everything they did." She glanced back up as Waren settled in the space of the hallway, crouching down near her.
Slowly, she shook her head. "No. Besides, the nails wouldn't hurt me. They're iron based alloys and iron just.." She held out her hand and frowned at it. "At least.. normally.." She blinked and looked back to Warren again. "It's too soft because I might fall asleep again. I don't want to."
Warren's lip curls in a slight little smirk that is almost imperceptible. "Ah, so can't remember, and you can't forget. Guess we make a great pair, don't we. Look on the bright side…at least you aren't blue."
He glances at the chair and then back to Lorna, "Yeah, given who your dad is that really isn't much of a surprise I suppose. They probably just flatten and curve to contour to your body and likely make it the most comfortable thing ever."
He smirks, a bit more noticeable this time. "So you are on the 'I can't sleep because if I do I will have nightmares' road. Why don't you just have Charles or Jean suppress the memories? Obviously it can be done…" he says as he taps his own temple, "…so if you really don't want to remember…don't."
He shrugs again, moving to sit down on the floor form his squatting position "So…Met your sister yesterday. She is…unique."
Lorna shrugged, turning her gaze back to her bended knees as she picked at the seam of her pants. Her brows furrowed and she swallowed a hard lump in her throat. Kaleb had been kidnapped with her. He should've been here. He should've understood… her mind snapped back equal measure of reasons why that was stupid and she winced, and glanced back to Warren. "I wouldn't touch the nails. I emit magnetic fields constantly. It's how my father can find me." She bit her lower lip again and shrugged weakly.
"Uncle Charlie won't suppress my memories. He said it's not right to do. He said that people have to work through the bad stuff or they'll never cope." She'd gone down the path of memory erasure before. As he sat properly and mentioned her sister her brows furrowed sharply.
"Wanda? .. yeah.." She shrugged again, and reached up to twist her braided hair between her fingers. "..Wanda .. went through.. erm.. well.. a lot.."
Warren shrugs "Same difference. Fine, for you we will make an exception to the normal torture rules. We will just use wooden stakes instead of iron nails. Problem solved. No more comfortable sleep, and you will keep getting poked in uncomfortable places so that your mind will be more focused on that than what is in your head."
Warren crosses his legs and places his elbows on his knees, folding his hands into his lap. "Charles is right, you know. He's pretty good for that kind of shit, as much as it tends to grate on your nerves at times. 'Warren, you're still alive and that is what matters. Warren, you can still fly, what does it matter that you don't have your wings anymore. Warren, just because you are blue doesn't mean you can't lead a normal productive life'…are all things he would probably say to me, if I talked to him. Which is why I haven't, because…fuck that." He glances at Lorna, "Um…sorry. Language, I know. Another thing Charles would admonish me for I am sure."
"As far as Wanda, I only me there for a brief moment. I didn't get a long conversation with her, but…yeah. It seemed like it."
Lorna watched as Warren more or less mimicked her posture and she propped her chin up with the palm of her hand. She was silent for a beat, considering everything he said as she exhaled a sigh and pursed her lips. "You're angry." She mumbled, considering him. Her brows pinched and distress colored her features for a moment.
Warren could likely feel the instant change in the air, or at least his wings could. The magnetic fields around Lorna shifted with her mood if she wasn't careful. Though there wasn't any pulling or pushing. Just a slight pressure in the air.
Her eyes closed and she inhaled slowly, before exhaling again. The pressure lessing as she calmed her frazzled emotions. ".. Wanda was born in the camps." She offered softly, "It was an experiment." It was easier for her to talk about her family. What they'd gone through than her own torment. So much easier.
"Of course I am angry!" Warren says incredulously. "I was abducted, taken somewhere for months, had my wings amputated, and had metallic abominations grafted onto me. I should be angry!" His yellow eyes take on a more orange tinge as they start to shift to a redder color. Lorna can feel the wings in his back twitch slightly against the pressure, the scrape of metal on metal as they slightly make motions towards emerging from his back. "Everyone says it is ok to be angry, but not let the anger control me." He snarls slightly, his upper lip curling back from his teeth "A lot easier said than done, but I'll tell you what, I'd rather be angry than sitting on the floor moping. Anger at least pushes you to do something. You should get angry. Speaking of, where is Kaleb. I suppose I owe him a thank you for getting me out, from what I have been told."
As you talk about Wanda, Warren nods. "And that right there proves another point, which is someone always has gotten it worse than you. Unless you are dead, you can still fight back."
Lorna flinched but otherwise didn't seem to visibly react at Warren's angry words, she remained sitting. Then her eyes turned away and she glanced down at her knees, biting her lower lip. ".." She whispered nonsense, rubbing at her eyes as tears welled up there.
Sniffled hard again, rubbed at her watery eyes.
Anger may have its place, and that place is very, very close to the surface for Warren these days…but Warren before his change was also compassionate. The 'Angel' persona wasn't only based on looks, so when Lorna's eyes start to fill with tears, Warren's personality tones down, his eyes flicking back to the neutral yellow.
"I'm sorry." he says, reaching a hand out to place on her shoulder. "I lost my temper, which seems to be happening more and more often. Might be a side effect of whatever it is they did to me. I don't know. I shouldn't take it out on you."
He sighs, reaching up to take the towel from his shoulder and offer it over to Lorna. "…and I am sorry about Kaleb."
Lorna's sniffling slowed and halted as she noticed that Warren was calming too. She rubbed at her eyes and a weak laugh escaped her. "..I just keep crying these days." She mumbled, her breathing shaky as she glanced down at her hands. "I hate it." She shook her head and as he offered the towel she shot him a watery smile and accepted it. She rubbed her face of tears and exhaled a heavy breath.
"So…stop." says Warren matter of factly. "You don't have to sit here crying. Nobody is forcing you. You have the ability to stand up, brush off your PJS and lift your chin up. You are the only one that can."
He takes the towel back, slinging it over a shoulder. "Same thing goes for Kaleb. If you love him, fight for him. Go after him. If you don't, then move on and find someone else. I'm not the best person to be asking about relationship advice though. I seem to be between one or more of them more often than not…so I could be wrong."
He nods, "I'm afraid my rage is my own. Sounds like you got rid of it though, so you should at least be happy about that?"
Lorna shot Warren a look, "Can you stop feeling angry?" She whispered, "Can you stop how you feel and just move on with your life? I don't … I can't just stop. That is not how things work, Warren. I might.. I might be okay one moment and then the next someone says or does something and I can't stop crying." She exhaled a shaky breath, and pressed her fingers against her temple again.
"… And Kaleb doesn't want to be near me. I think we're through." She bit her lower lip, and turned her gaze downwards she let her hands fall, a sigh following.
"I don't know, Lorna. I haven't tried to stop." says matter of factly. "It might be that simple, it might not be, but until I decide to actually try I will never know."
"As far as Kaleb, I know one thing…you are through if you don't try. The ball is in your court on that one. If he isn't going to fight for it, and you aren't willing to fight for it, then you might as well put it down."
Warren shifts a bit, stretching his leg out a bit. "Maybe that's what is wrong with me. Who knows. Jean or Charles haven't been poking around in here, and I don't know that I want them too."
Lorna exhaled a sigh as she considered Warren for a moment. Perhaps the most attention she had focused on anything since she'd returned. "..How do you bring yourself to care anymore?" She whispered, her head tilting to the side as she looked him over. ".. I.. I just.. it's hard to care anymore." She dragged her hands through her hair as she looked down at her feet, her toes curling against the hardwood floor.
"It just seems so pointless these days."
Warren smirks. "Revenge."
He says the word plan and simple, like it carries all the weight in the world. "I'm going to find the people that did this to me, and I am going to…well, lets just say I am not going to be polite and invite them to tea. If I didn't have that on my mind, I probably wouldn't care about anything. One thing that isn't going to help you care though, is sitting here thinking about what will make you care. If you don't care about Kaleb, then find something else to focus on. If you just sit here, though, they won. They may not have gotten all they wanted from you, but they won."
Lorna stared at him for a long moment, "Is that going to make you feel better?" She tilted her head, "My father has been hunting the Nazis that took him and killed my grandparents for years. That tortured him. He's never around anymore because he's .. I guess he's doing that. I haven't even seen him since he rescued me." She pursed her lips together.
"I don't think it makes him feel any better. It won't stop people from doing what the Nazis did. It won't save anyone. Or bring them back. It's all just … it keeps going regardless." She frowned, her brows furrowing. "So I guess.. I just don't see the point in trying."
Warren shrugs a shoulder, and looks down at the floor. "Honestly? I don't know, Lorna. The reality is that you are probably right. In the long run, it won't do me a lick of good…but you asked how I was bringing myself to care, and that is what I am using. That may change in time. Maybe I will find something to replace it with, like love or some other emotion to fill the void…but for right now, it's revenge."
He stands from the floor, "So, I guess you need to find what is your 'revenge' emotion…the one that you want to use to fuel the desire to go on. Nobody can do that for you. Good luck with that."
That being said, Warren strides off down the hallway towards the doors that lead to the back yard, tossing the towel into her lap as he starts to take his first steps. "Here, keep this. In case you just decide to just give up and sit there and cry."