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The past couple of months had proven busy for Josh and Daire. There was a lot going on at the community center, Daire had been working at the Eight Ball and playing some music with Jay, and had recently taken on some more missions with the X-Men, and there had barely been much time to breathe for either with all the various things they were both up to. Daire had just gone to the Congo and turned around and immediately went back out to Iceland and was just getting home, severely jet-lagged and a little worse for wear.
The door opens and Daire comes into the apartment, his bag over his shoulder and moving a bit stiffly. He goes to his room and drops his bag in there on the floor and leaves it there for the time being before he comes back out and makes his way over to the fridge. Oh blessed fridge. Is there a beer in ye?
There are always beers in the fridge. They aren't especially expensive beers or anything, but they're is beer. The quality varies: more often then not its something donated and not picked out by Josh or anyone in particular, but for Josh, that sort of charity is a way of life. Hearing someone in the outer room, Josh wakens from a nap he was having, and yawning, wanders out of his room. Besides his hair looking mussed— and blond— he looks just like he did in college. Tan, fit. Not gold. He hasn't really aged a day since then, though its not been a lot of years or anything, but still. He's not gold. "Oh, hey, Dai. How'd the thing go?" he asks with a light smile.
Expensive beer is for people with discerning tastes, which Daire really doesn't have. Cheap beer is good. He grabs one of the beers and gets it open in time to hear Josh come out. Turning away from the fridge he nearly drops the bottle, which slides, and then he grabs it in a vague fumble and a wince before he sets it down on the counter and he blinks, "You're not gold!" Because he seriously wasn't expecting that. I mean, he'd always hoped that Josh would find a way to not be gold, because he seemed to struggle with it so much, but he suspected they'd need to do some crazy ritual mumbo jumbo or at least retrieve some lizard spit from the amazon. He hadn't expected it to happen while he was away. He splits a broad grin and the beer is forgotten. Instead, he heads right over to Josh and gives him a big hug, a hug which hurts but he so doesn't care right now.
"It… just happened, this morning. I woke up… just… me." Josh sounds a little embarassed about that, and embarassment doesn't really suit him much, but he can't help but laugh at the bear hug— well, as much as his limited lung capacity in the hug allows for laughing. He returns the hug, though, "Heeey, so. Best I can figure coming back from the dead was just a more intense version of color swapping then I had experienced before." Still, there's a huge lack of tension in him at the prospect. "But how was the mission? Everyone okay?" He sounds a little worried. Missions are dangerous, after all.
"That's amazing," Daire says, smiling a little bit at the embarassing and drawing back a little just to look at Josh. "You're gorgeous in any color, but I'm really happy for you.. I know it was hard." He just can't stop grinning, though he does loosen the hug so that Josh can breathe a little easier. It's not hard to feel the bandages wrapped around Daire's torso beneath his shirt in that hug, though. "We should go out and celebrate." Then he pauses and says, "Oh.. yeah, we're all okay. It was a little hairy there. Two teens, one that could marionette people and the other who could warp and twist their abilities and make them into monstrous versions of themselves.. we need to go back and find the one that got away, but we did get one of them safely back."
"It's the little things: buying clothes. Those things are what was really hard." Josh nods his head a bit, but seems not inclined to let Daire and this hugging get away from him much, but he does frown. He tilts his head to the side a moment, sensing the damage which causes him to frown. He doesn't hesitate a moment before a golden light spreads out of his skin and flows forward, in the same instant his skin turning gold once more even as he wills the wounds closed. "We can go out and celebrate tomorrow, you're hurt." he exclaims in shock and horror, "You should have said something right away!"
Daire begins to nod when Josh mentions the shopping and then he sees the golden shimmering starting to manifest and he says, "No no no you just… Josh!" But it's too late, he can feel the healing washing over him, and the pain just vanishes, and with it the gouges from those claws that had, remarkably, not hit bone or sliced through bone for that matter, and had only torn flesh open. But all of it vanishes as Josh's healing washes over him. He reaches up and brushes his thumb against Josh's cheek before leaning in to kiss him, briefly before drawing back and saying, "It was fine. It was bandaged… Wire got control of Logan but he managed to regain control just as he hit me and he pulled back. It would have been a lot more uncomfortable otherwise." He smiles a little faintly. "Besides, your news was much cooler."
"I will not have you in pain if it is in my power to prevent, even if it means I have to always be gold." Josh says softly, but with a certain intensity to his voice, "I won't see you scarred and risking infection where I can set it aside with a thought. I won't have it, Dai." He frowns a moment, "Logan, the guy with the claws? The adamantium claws? I don't know anything about adamantium except from the rumors steel is more or less warm butter, and bone isn't even a challenge. It could have been way more then uncomfortable." He tightens arms around Daire, frowning. Its not that he finds his news cooler, but he finds Daire's news more dire. "For — strangers — I might hold back a bit, do traditional medicine when its all that's needed, but if you think I'm going to let you or my friends heal naturally you're out of your mind." But therew as a kiss, even if brief, so he smiles.
Daire tilts his head a little and his smile softens. He reaches up and brushes his fingertips through Josh's gold-again hair, taking in that intensity. "Thank you," he says, then, quietly, "It's nice not to hurt." He chuckles a little bit and says, "I managed to change before he hit me, too, which helped, so what little he hit was stoneskinned at the time." He says, "So, uncomfortable may be an understatement.." Maybe, just a little. He was very fortunate. He tightens his arms around Josh again, though a little more gently this time rather than the intensity of that first hug. "I knew you would heal it eventually, I just figured a few minutes wouldn't hurt anything."
"You might endure it, but it would hurt you." Josh says softly, leaning forward to rest a forehead against Daire's own, his now blue eyes peering at him a bit blearily given the closeness, "I don't know if I've ever explained it — but the depth of my understanding of what hurts someone might as well be me feeling their hurts: its not that I feel the pain of those I touch, but I experence it so viscerally and in such detail I might as well. There's no use or need acting strong, I know. The thought of just leaving you there to suffer for minutes when I could alleviate it in moments is unthinkable. Especially for someone I care about. From what is said around school, where it comes to metal, Erik is in sense and control master — that is me and flesh." He shrugs a bit there, "But good, you changed before. I… am actually thankful I wasn't on this particular mission. If someone could turn my gift to ill purpose?" He frowns a bit. "The black is so very much easier then the gold."
Daire smiles a little crookedly as he looks into the blue eyes that he remembers from college, even if they are very close. He doesn't mind that very close one bit, taking in a slow breath and letting it out then nodding just slightly, "Okay, I know I promised to let you touch me if I had to change near you, so that I wouldn't feel that pain. I'll try not to keep injuries from you, even for a few minutes, when you can remove them. I'm not used to not just.. taking whatever I can bear. But I promise to just let you take care of me." His lips quirk a little bit at that. Though his expression sobers a bit and he nods, "Yeah.. it got a little messy and it could have gotten a lot more messy, but, everyone came back alright. I was the only one who even got hit this time around. And in this particular case, I think it's good that you weren't there."
"Hey, I didn't ask for a lot of promises, Dai. I trust you. I just want you to understand that for me I can't… ignore it, when I know about it. And I'm starting to feel an idea of it at a distance— but its not reliable, yet." Josh smiles and shakes his head, but he does reluctantly pull away, "But the important bit is you survived and got home. Hm. I don't think I've spread around enough around the school what should be done in… emergency situations. Like, you know, fatal situations." He takes a breath that sounds a bit pained, and heads for the fridge, "I don't want people to feel they can rely on me in that way— there's limits— but I don't want anyone to die I can't pull back. There's a certain… balance I'm not sure how to…well, balance."
"I know you didn't ask for them," Daire says, letting Josh pull away a little bit reluctantly. Though he does pull off his shirt for a moment and unwinds the bandges around his chest, a little uncomfortable now that he no longer needs them. His skin is entirely unmarred in any way, completely healed. He drops the bandages in the trash and then pulls his shirt back on, running fingers through his hair to at least contain the unruly mess before he reaches over for his forgotten beer, lifting it and taking a swallow from the bottle. "Maybe let a few people know just to.. in case of emergency, please get people back here and as fast as possible… you don't really need to outline entirely why.. but a few people knowing, maybe like.. those who fly us around places. Not sure how to balance that, either."
Josh looks as Daire strips himself of a shirt: of course he looks. He grabs a beer from the fridge though, pulling off the cap with a nearby remover, and he nods over to Daire, expression for a moment serious while he's not gawking. "What needs to happen is… people understand they get the body to me as soon as possible— and if 'soon' isn't quick, then put it on ice if possible. I can pull someone back after a few days even if they're put on ice soon enough— its a question of how much decay has ben allowed to set into the body. When someone dies their body isn't really dead: most cells are alive for hours still, just the *system* is broken down. Restarting that system isn't really that hard, all on its own. But over time, bacteria begin spreading— its called 'decomposition', but what it is is the remains begin to be eaten and regurgitated. *That* is what I can't heal: if decay is allowed to continue then not enough of the original body is even *there* anymore. I can pull someone back if its been… a day. Maybe two— maybe. Longer, there's too much decay. Unless someone has thought to preserve the body." This is sooo the grimdark of all grimdark conversations.
Daire leans back against the kitchen counter, freed of bandages, breathing alittle more comfortably, and finally drinking his beer which is kind of relaxing after the past couple of days. The darkness of the conversation doesn't even seem to phase him. Daire is a pragmatist, and discussing the practical nature of dealing with such things in a hypothetical is easy. Were it someone he loved that they were talking aboutin an actual situation? Totally different story, but mostly he looks thoughtful considering it in an abstract sense. "Yeah, I remember you mentioned that to me before, about the timing and all. So I guess the question just becomes, how many people do you want to know and what do you want them to know."
Josh leans against a counter too, nearby, sipping his beer. He is silent for a long moment, "If I bring someone back, I might go into a coma for a day. If I bring two, maybe a week. There becomes the danger: I don't think I can die from any level of trauma, but if I don't drink water for a week?" He shakes his head slowly, "If I call three back… I've never called three before. I don't know how long I would be laid helpless. of couse this all depends on how much it takes the individual healing. But there is a cost, and its possible that sooner or later there won't be anything left to sustain me." He shrugs, at this, "So on the balance question, its not how many know… Its twofold. On the one hand, if anyone outside our team learns I can do this, I'll be kidnapped within a day and forced until I can't be forced anymore. For our team, though, its… its about what is asked of me. If someone is going to be lost, can I ever say no, regardless of the cost?"
Daire is quiet as he listens, studying some point on the cheap linoleum floor as he considers the ramifications. He knew of the cost to Josh personally for healing, and he suspected that the cost for something like ressurrection would be high, though he wasn't quite sure how high. The reality of it starts to settle in and his expression falls to something thoughtful, pensive, even. The beer is set back down and he just rests his hands on the edge of the counter to either side of him. He's silent for a long time before he says, "Yes, let's not let you get kidnapped. I'm against this. And I can understand that… though.. if it ever comes down to me or you, I want you to let me go." He looks over to Josh then and says, "Losing you like that.. wouldn't be something I could deal with. And your gift is so much more important to keep in this world. I mean, just so you know, how I'd feel about that."
This… is a dire conversation. Josh is silent for a long moment, regarding Daire, his head tilted slightly, his expression serious. Would you do the same if I asked it of you?" he asks in a voice that is more breath and softness then words, "To let me go if saving me would endanger your very life?" There's a certain challenge in his expression as he regards Daire. "Tell me true, because if you think I have more value to this world then your own then you are undervaluing yourself, and asking me to be a banker counting the value of a life over the possibility of the living?" He shakes his head slowly, "I don't think I want that responsibility, Dai. I don't think I can live with it. To be the one who decides who is worth living and who is not worth living." He shakes his head slowly, "But no amount of healing must kill me. I might bear a cost, but its a cost payable. I might need help: IV fluids and vitamins, for example. But if I risk saving someone, I risk the maybe that I don't recover against the certainty they die — do you ask me to value my own life's maybe so high?"
Daire looks back over to Josh, and it's clear to see his thoughts crumble a bit in the face of what Josh has to say, some of what he had thought at first challenged, and found wanting. "No," Daire says finally with a shake of his head, "No, you're right. I just.. it scares me," he admits. "But no, I would never put that responsibility on you, to make that kind of call over value of life. Sorry, I.. didn't think that all the way through." He takes in a deep breath and lets it out slowly. Finally he shakes his head and then says, "You'd have help if you needed it." Then his attention returns to the floor for a time, thoughts turning over in his head.
Setting aside his beer, Josh steps in close to Daire, and lifts a hand up to cup his chin and urge his eyes up from that looking at teh floor, "We do what we can." he says, firmly, "You can be strong. I can heal. I don't like the idea of failing you— I am, believe me, in no way for dying for anyone. But I do what I can. I could no more not try to heal you then you could put your life on the line to save me, I expect. Its not even about our gifts, different though they are. When I see someone, I have to help them. I know the cost and pay it, willingly. But I can't be that guy who decides if my value is more then someone elses." He pauses, "But I know this. Noo matter what I do, I won't die from doing it. So if I push forward and heal too much— I might die, but only if someone doesn't have my back." Josh smiles, "So don't worry about me-verses-you: instead promise to have my back. I'll fall into a coma, I'll need fluids, nutrition. If we need to do it, we can train people on what that regimen needs at the Institute. There's a cost but I don't need to die— if someone has my back. I trust you, Dai, you'll have my back."
Daire looks up at the touch and meets Josh's eyes again with those luminescent green ones of his own. He listens, nodding a little bit in agreement. He would put his life on the line to save Josh without a second thought, and he knows without a doubt that Josh would try to heal him. He doesn't say anything else immediately though, not until Josh finishes and then he says, "I will always have your back. Always. I want to learn what would need to be done, with whoever else you teach, so that I can know how to do it if it has to be done. I want to be confident that I could help."
Josh nods his head, smiling, "Yeah, I knew you'd say that." He takes a long, slow breath and lets it out just as slowly, "Yeah, what you need to know is basic first-aid and emergency trauma medication— which mostly amounts to three rules. One: do not under any circumstances pull any foreign object out, no matter what anyone says: that knife in the neck might be all that's keeping them alive. Two, apply pressure. Three, cold is good— especially as a last ditch measure, but if someone is cold and dead they aren't dead if I can get to them while they're still cold."
"Well, I know that first rule from TV," Daire says with a faint chuckle, because it's true. "Don't pull things out; leave them where they are." To the second, he nods, and to the third, a slightly more grim expression but another nod. He says, "Though I more meant that I wanted to know how to help you in the event you get overtaxed. But yes, also knowing how to help in the field to do some basic things to get people back in relatively one piece is definitely something that I'd like to know how to do." He smiles a little bit. "When I'm not busy acting as a shield or trying to talk kids down from roofs."
"Oh, right." Josh laughs and shakes his head, "Mostly… if you don't have acccess to medical care— where I can't reliably be— its a question of like… Broth and water. Drip by drip into my mouth, its likely to be annoying but that'll at least keep me from starving to death or dying of thirst while I recooperate. It won't likely be more then a couple days so there's no huge urgency, except the water, but the broth— will help keep things from going to difficult territory. There, uh, might be some… unpleasantness we will not discuss. Really, I wonder if we can find a nurse that's hirable." He winces a bit at that.
Daire nods his head and says, "Hydration and enough nutrition to keep you going, and perhaps some help from a nurse." He smiles a little then and brushes his fingertips along Josh's once more gold jaw and says, "Okay, I think we've had enough talk about grim things for right now, and what to do in cases of emergency. We'll put some plans in place for that. But for now, I'm just really glad to be home, and really happy for you that the gold isn't permanent. So let's talk about something a little lighter for a little bit." He chuckles then, "Not that I don't think these are important conversations to have but.. it got real grim in here real fast."
Leaning into the touch at his jaw, Josh's golden eyes go half-lidden, and he grins, "It did go deep into the grimdark." he accepts with a slight nod of his head, "And truth be told its only been as bad as that being an issue once. Even when I push things I almost never have more then a day's downtime." But he pulls away again with some reluctance, and instead rubs at his eyes and heads towards the kitchen, "But yeah, we don't have to keep it in the worst case scenario all the time. On the positive side, I'm not sure that those things are even needed. My ability to self-heal is instinctual."
"Little bit," he chuckles. He listens then, nodding a bit and says, "That is a positive," as Josh wanders off toward the kitchen. Daire wanders over to the couch and he plops himself down on it, stretching out his legs. He lets his head rest back against the back of the couch and closes his eyes for a moment or two, having spent the better part of the lasdt few days either flying or running around. "So, what should we go out and do tomorrow? Because we're going out.. and we're doing a thing. There will be celebrating."
"I heard of this place…" Josh suggests thoughtfully, "Lux. Supposedly, its fancy. Alternatively, we go to the beach again, and this time make a point to really go into the swim thing. Alternatively, we go to a mall. We buy things and laugh with people. I don't know." He grins, "I've been so focused on the fact that I can't go anywhere that thinking up where to go is..problematic."
Daire opens his eyes and glances over toward Josh with a grin, "Okay, so tomorrow during the day we should go out to the beach while the weather's still warm enough before it gets too cold. Then we should head out to Lux in the evening." He grins. "We can go shopping pretty much any time." Stretching a little bit, he considers, "I like the idea of finding some outside stuff to do. I've gotten a lot more comfortable being out and around, myself." He then remembers something, "I let Kai draw a picture of me for his art show."