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Earlier in the day, Emma had sent word to Lorna that if she wished to speak she was back from vacation and would be around her office most of the day. The office, like Emma herself was a touch extravagant, with expensive items on the walls and on display, because what was the point of money if you couldn't surround yourself with the finer things.
On the desk in front of her, there was a stack of papers, most of them new admission forms for the fall semester. She didn't seem at all bothered by the work, tedious as it was, there was a cool efficiency in which she completed the reviews.
The door to her office is open.
*
Lorna had been.. absent from the school. It had been abrupt and sudden, to the point that Charles hadn't even been told yet. It had come down to luck that the green haired mutant was around when Emma sent word that she wanted to see her. Lorna had forgotten a few textbooks in the library that she'd need for continuing her studies and had come back for them.
A knock on Emma's office followed before the young mutant poked her head in. "I heard you wanted to see me, Miss Frost?" And oh dear god, what had Lorna done to her hair? The normally green locks were once more dyed. Only this time, instead of a muted brown, it was a brown so dark it was nearly black. The dye job had obviously been rushed, as chunks of green still poked out at odd places. Even worse, it would seem Lorna's choice of outfits had taken a dive as well.
Gone were her nice summer dresses. Now she wore a pair of used looking jeans, and a loose fitting T-shirt. A pair of flip-flops topped it off.
And Lorna's mind? Well. At least on the surface it seemed calm, if a tad nervous to be coming into Emma's office just then.
*
Sensing the arrival of Lorna before hearing or seeing her, Emma was already looking up when Lorna stepped in, her icy blue eyes taking in the changes in the young woman, "You look frightful, darling. That incident with the mind parasite must have troubled you far more deeply than Charles let on."
Gesturing towards the seat with her manicured brows raised skyward in apparent alarm, she said, "Take a seat and tell me about what is at the root of these drastic changes. Green has never been my favorite color, but at least you made it work."
*
Lorna's lips thinned and she moved to sit down in the seat that Emma pointed out to her. "I'm fine, Miss Frost. Thank you. I uhm.. I just came back to get a textbook. I know I'm sure there's papers that I should fill out and I haven't talked to the Professor about it.. but I want to take a year off." Drop out. I want to drop out and never come back here again. Came the mental voice that continued the lie. It was clear that everything wasn't 'fine' by a long shot.
Beyond the surface thoughts was a roiling mass of depression, anger, and hatred. A good portion of it dedicated to herself and to several others. Little Lorna was a hot mess by any measure of it.
"I'm just going to move in with my father." His empty brownstone because he's never actually around but whatever. Came the rest of what Lorna wasn't saying on that topic at least.
*
"Lorna, there is quite a difference between taking a year off, and dropping out." Emma replied to the young woman before her, not even bothering to hide the fact that she was reading her surface thoughts, "Let's take a step back and we can revisit that, if it's truly what's best for you and what you really wish to do."
Lips pursed as she looked towards Lorna, she considered the condition of the young woman before asking, "What's bothering you? Just get it all out, I'm here to listen." Contrary to appearances and snark, she did indeed care as well.
*
Lorna crossed her arms, and her legs, leaning back in the chair. "I don't want to not get a degree, but I don't see .. I can't stay here anymore Miss Frost. I just can't. Okay? I'm trying really, really hard to keep everything together." She blinked rapidly, and tears formed in the corners of her eyes and she tilted her head back to look upwards at the lights in an attempt to keep from crying.
Her chest tightened and she struggled to low her breathing and not lose her composure. It was hard. Her mind was a rumbling of chaos. Of hurt. Of anger. It was a wreck emotionally. Filled in with a bad break up and two weeks of torment at the hands of her kidnappers combined with a sour note of depression. All she wanted was to return to her old life from before. To have her friends and her boyfriend and be happy again.
Her mind flashed to last night, where Kaleb and his twin along with her nephew Vic refused to give her a moment of privacy. She had apologized for anything and everything she could think of…
Anger, hot and fierce and unrelenting snapped into her mind and she had to swallow the bile that rose in her throat. Where she had to take hold of her powers before they were unleashed on the office around her. It was a near thing.
Her control balanced on a knife's edge. And her hands curled into the seat's armrests, denting the leather with her fingernails and making the arms creak.
*
Comfort was offered in the form of Emma using her telepathy to try and soothe Lorna a little bit as she listened, both with her ears and her mind; trying to help the younger woman sort through the chaotic thoughts and emotions.
More importantly, Emma was doing what she could to help offer Lorna a little reprieve, a measure of control that a second person or in this case, a mind could offer.
"Life sucks, my dear, but only if you allow it to. Bad things have happened to you, and to everyone else within these walls. You have potential though, that many of them could only dream of, you're better, and that's something you need to realize if you're ever going to overcome what you're going through." Emma narrowed her eyes at Lorna a little, "I could make you forget all of it, all of the pain, all of the anger, the rage, the sorrow, the sadness. It wouldn't help you grow though, or to rise above all of the shit you've been through."
Resting her hands on her desk and looking deep into Lorna's eyes, she asked, "Are you going to rise above it, darling, or are you going to run away to Daddy's empty home?"
*
Lorna's posture relaxed from the on edge point it had been due to the telepathic hand. At least allowing her the momentary reprieve she needed to mentally shove her emotions back under the rug where she'd ignored them for the past two weeks. She hadn't talked through any of her emotions. Only ignored them with a sharp necessity to keep functioning in her daily life.
She was running from the Insitute because of a boy and she knew what Emma would think of that.
However as Emma started in on her offer, Lorna's expression pinched. Her eyes narrowed and her lips pursed into a thin line. "I don't want anyone else poking around in my head, Miss Frost. Not even you. Maximus already wiped everything from my head once. I'm not in a hurry to go back to that." She exhaled a sharp breath, her posture still. The offer had been nearly word for word what Maximus had offered and what Lorna had once accepted.
Erik had found Lorna after that, and been in a panick. Charles and Emma had arrived home from a date soon after and Charles had put Lorna's head back together again.
Her hands curled into a fist, her features stained pink with a blush of anger.
*
"That's what I thought." Emma replied with the faintest hints of a smile, "So, that means, you are going to have to confront and deal with these issues at some point. Running away won't make them go away, neither will burying them."
Standing from her desk, Emma walked over to a cabinet and removed crystal decanter filled with what appeared to be white wine, "I'm here to do what I can for you, but you need to remain at the Institute. You need to get your degree and you need to learn as much control over your powers as possible."
Removing the top of the decanter, she asked, "What do you think? Should you stay or should you go? There's going to be trouble either way, at least here, you have support."
*
Lorna remained sitting where she was and frowned, "I can't stay here with Kellan, Kaleb and Vic coming here. They have little to no control and they need more help with their powers than I do." She pursed her lips, and there was a spike of hatred, of anger at each of the names. Followed by a wave of misery and hurt. Of longing and sadness.
"My father can help me, Miss Frost when it comes to my powers. I've got plenty of control." She exhaled a breath, her gaze lowering. "Besides, if I'm in the city I can do more for Mutant Town." Which was only ever a small part of the excuse she'd used on her father to leave the school. Of course, as far as Erik knew Lorna only planned to take a year off.
*
"I don't care about Kellan, Kaleb, and Vic. We're here to discuss you, Lorna. You can't always run from people you have issues with, eventually, you have to learn to deal with people. Trust me, I know all too well." Lorna would probably never know how many of the people at the Institute, Emma truly despised and didn't want to deal with or see.
"If you think leaving is best for you and you truly believe your father has time for you, then I cannot stop you." Emma frowned, the disappointment in Lorna's decision to leave the school plain on her face.
*
Lorna fidgeted in her seat, her hands wrung together under Emma's gaze. Her lips pursing into a fine white line. Her heart hammered in her chest, loud in her ears as Emma's disapointment sank into her. "I don't know what talking is going to do Miss Frost. You can see into my head and see how messed up I am. Talking doesn't do anything." Her hands flatened against her lap and she squeezed her eyes shut.
"You want me to talk about how I had someone run through my head like a bull and how they made me help them kidnap mutants? How they were able to force me through test after test? How some group has my DNA and blood and everything else? That it was my biggest fear since my sister was born in the camps and that's how I lost most of my family?" She turned those green eyes upon Emma, her brows pinched.
"What good does it do to tell you that I can't spell a night through without nightmares? That I hate myself and nearly everyone around me. How I hate being sad and crying because once I start I can't stop? How I lost my second boyfriend and several friends because I'm mental?" She shook her head and her shoulders collapsed as she leaned forward, dragging her hands over her features.
"What's the point of any of it?"
*
"I keep hearing you say you're messed up or broken, but all I see is a gifted young woman in front of me, who cannot see herself, for what she is." Emma said to Lorna before taking a sip of her wine and moving back to her desk, "Friends and lovers, they will come and go, darling. That's just part of life, not just part of growing up."
"I can't tell you what the point of it all though is, nobody can for certain. You just have to find a path and follow it, or spend your life trying to find something akin to a path. If you feel your path is leaving the Institute, I can't profess to know you better, than you know yourself." The glass was set down on her desk as she watched Lorna curiously.
*
Lorna crossed her arms, her shoulders rising. "It's either that I'm mental and crazy, and something's wrong with me or I'm just that horrible a person." She muttered, her hands curling into fists. Her chest tightened and she exhaled a shaky breath. "I don't know what my path is, Miss Frost. I don't know if what I'm doing is right or what I should do."
Her hands pressed against her cheeks and she sagged back into the chair. "I wanted to get my degree. I wanted to be the first person in my family to get a degree. My father never went to school. My sister and brother never got the chance…" She exhaled another gusty sigh and shook her head.
"But I don't see how I can stay here and still function.. I feel like I can do more at Mutant Town than staying here and just.. just pretend as if everything is the same. That everything is okay and that I'm fine. When it's not and I'm not."
*
"From where I am sitting, it sounds like you know what your path is. Now, that degree, that education doesn't need to come from this school, true, but.." Emma frowned a little, "There's no reason to leave this place, because of others. This may be a hard pill to swallow, but you need to put yourself first and not worry about the opinions and thoughts of others. Which I might add? Is much harder when you can hear everyone's thoughts, so you have an advantage I never had in that regard."
The wine glass was picked up once again and swirled around a little as Emma narrowed her eyes a bit, "There's no need to pretend anything, things are different, they will never be the same again." Sighing just a little, Emma took another drink of her wine before stating firmly, "Give it another shot, Lorna. I believe you can do it, you just need to believe in yourself."
*
Lorna bit her lower lop again, uncurling her hands as they sank down to her lap again. "From what I've been told, Miss Frost.. putting myself first is all I'm good at doing." Harsh words had rung hard and cold in her mind, worse than they had been meant possibly, but they aligned with what horrible things she'd heard in her head for two weeks straight.
Her hands folded together, knitting fingers between her hands and undoing them only to fold them. "..I don't think I believe in much anymore, Miss Frost. I just know that I'm angry and hurt. And nothing makes sense to me anymore." She whispered and then slowly turned her gaze back toward the telepath before her.
"I .. I don't know. I'll think about coming back. But regardless I don't think I'm ready to take classes this fall full time. I want to stay busy.. and sitting still just.. it makes things harder to deal with."
*
"I hope that you learn to believe in yourself again, Lorna. I really do." Emma said with a frown as she stood up from her desk and walked over to Lorna, offering her a hug, "Please try and think on things some more before you speak with Charles."
If Lorna, didn't accept the hug, which was a rare thing for Emma to offer, she was non-fussed about it, "If there's anything I can do for you Lorna, do not hesitate to ask. I'm sorry that I wasn't here to help you when all of this trouble started." She truly was.
*
Lorna accepted the hug, she was an affectionate person. One that enjoyed contact with others, and sought comfort in embraces just as much as she expressed joy from it. She sighed softly, her eyes slipping shut as she held onto Emma for a long moment before letting go. "It's not your fault, Miss Frost. You didn't know." She mumbled, and looked down at her lap as she considered what to tell 'Uncle Charlie'.
After all, she had managed to pack a few boxes and driven off without the Professor stopping her. How much did he already know?
"I don't know if I'll believe in myself anymore in anyway that most consider good…" She trailed off, self-loathing hanging thickly around her to the point that even a nontelepath could've noticed.
"But thanks for the offer.. I know you'd do anything you could to help me." She forced a smile at that, because it was true. At least to her. She trusted Emma fully.
*
Stepping out of the hug and returning to her desk, Emma smiled at Lorna, "New York has many good schools, it wouldn't be any trouble for me to help you get into one, if you wish." She may not have agreed with Lorna's decision, but she would do whatever she could to support her.
"Just tell me what I can do to help you make your way." The offer was entirely sincere and Emma couldn't help but feel like she had failed with keeping Lorna at the Institute.
*
Lorna smiled, and this time it wasn't the forced one as before. It warmed her whole expression. College admissions were how Lorna had met Emma Frost to begin with. Without her, Lorna would never have admitted she was a mutant and started training. She never would've met her father or found out she was adopted. Her shoulders sagged faintly, and she shifted to push her hair back from her face.
"I know, but I don't.. I'm not sure what I want just yet. Much less look into applying to other schools." She murmured, "Not yet."
She paused, shifting in her chair and recrossing her legs. "I know I need help.. therapy or something for what I went through.." She bit her lower lip, "And I know that I can get it here without taking down a building if I get overly upset.. I want to still come back for that at least."
*
"Very well, if you change your mind, let me know." Emma replied before folding her hands on her desk and smiling at Lorna, "I'm happy to provide you any therapy you need, but, for precisely the reason you just said.. I hope you consider staying here. I truly do."
Picking up the glass of wine and taking another sip, Emma began to shuffle around some papers on her desk, really hoping Lorna would reconsider.
"You're a lovely, intelligent, and strong young woman. Don't forget that."
*
Lorna nodded, hesitation clear in her mind as Emma continued to push for the young woman to remain. The urge to flee weakening ever so slightly to be replaced by that desire to not disapoint one Miss Emma Frost. It was getting harder for Lorna to stick to the idea that she was dropping out of school for good. Her mind rewinding to the year she'd promised her father. Edging back to possibly just a semester. A few months. Just until she felt better..
And of course, then Emma was complimenting her and her throat tightened. Tears were suddenly prickling at the corners of her eyes. "Thank you, Miss Frost." She mumbled, rubbing at the corners of her suddenly misty eyes. Those few small words seemed to be the key to a flood-gate that Lorna barely held in check.
*
"You're quite welcome, Lorna." Emma picked up her glass of wine once more, draining it now before nodding her head, "I'll be here if you need anything. Unless, I'm not here, then you'll have to make do." A soft laugh escaped her lips at her own commentary before she reached up to adjust her hair, "Have a wonderful evening and try to get some rest, a good night's sleep will do you wonders."