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Deck the streets with broughs of robbers,
Fa la la la la la la
Tis the season to be criminal,
Fa la la la la la la,
Don we now our theft apparel,
Troll the anctient profession for those that won't work for a living…
Fa la la la la la la
And cue the stolen armored van racing down Midtown with a pair of police cars in hot pursuit as it tears down the middle of the road. This was not Spider-Man's idea of holiday lights as he swings above the fray, catching a webline to swing from an alley to join in the chase as the armored truck opens fire with automatic weapons on the pair of police cars, disabling one of them.
"Note to self, Spidey.." he brrs as he catches a thwips out a new webline. "Get thermal underwear.":
Jessica Drew doesn't have the advantage of webs, but she does have a motorcycle that lets her pursue. SHIELD wouldn't usually bother with an armored van, except that there was something else that was being transported in the truck that they'd rather not fall into the hands of NYPD, evidence chains being what they are. So Jess is racing after the van and the police, zipping and weaving through the traffic with an uncanny ability to avoid the bullets.
"Don't worry, Jess, it'll just be a routine tail," she mimics to herself, snorting. "Amateurs."
One of the police tails gets chewed up with bullets and the engine blows, sending the car careening into a row of parked vehicles along 5th Avenue. "Hey!" Spidey frowns as he gets to the next intersection and starts to lay down several weblines to catch the racing armored vehicle in the lines. "That was good taxpayer money you were shooting at!" he calls out as the truck hits the weblines, the rear axle ripped out as the vehcile slides to a halt and comes to a rest.
At this point, it would just be an armored pillbox in the middle of the street, but there's groaning and ripping from within the armored truck and suddenly, the side of it bows out, and what looks like a large man in grey armor comes out, crusing the ground beneath his feet.
"Come down, Spider-Man, so I may crush you!" comes the thick Russian accent. "You have fallen into my trap!"
"Your trap, Rhino?" comes the response from the figure in blue and red. "You didn't even bait it with my favorite cookies! I bet you're on Santa's naughty list!" he calls out, but he's keeping his distance, as his spidey-sense tingles and he leaps away just as a figure on a motorcycle comes zipping by him. "I'm quipping here!" A sigh. "Everyone's a critic."
"Just passing through!" Jess calls over her shoulder as she zips past Spider-Man, bike skidding to a stop just short of the armored car. Even before it's come to a complete stop, she's flipping off the bike and springing onto the back of the armored car instead. "Although I guess I could help out." She crouches there, giving the Rhino a long look. "Aren't you supposed to be in lock-up somewhere?"
"You brought backup, Spider-Man! A Spider-Girl?!" The Rhino laughs and then glares at Jessica. "I am not returning to SHIELD prison. He brings friend, I bring friend!"
There's a rattling of the mancovers in the middle of the street, and then one of them blows high into the sky, flipping end over end as a solid plume of water rises into the air, and the top half of it takes on a humanoid shape. "Surprise!" offers Hydro-Man before unleashes a spray of high pressured water that would peel paint from steel at Jess.
Spider-Man, in the meantime, frowns, oval eyecovers narrowing slightly. "Hey, I didn't even know she was coming! I mean, there's all these Spider-Girls in the city now. Maybe I should start a group? Spidey and the Spiderettes?" And when the attack opens on Jess, Rhino grabs the axle and swings it like a baseball bat at Spidey. "Whoa, whoa! Baseball season is still several months away!" he calls out as he backflips and leaps, landing on a nearby lightpole and starts to trying to encase Rhino in webbing. "And it's one, two, three, strikes you're out…"
"Okay, first of all, it's Spider-Woman," Jess clarifies, leaping up and out of the way of the water attack. "And second of all, definitely not with him. Though I like his style. Excellent choice of mascot, kid!" she calls back to Peter, already searching the area for something to bring down the criminals. Water is a problem. What in the hell do you hit water with?
"Maybe the S-Men? Or the Spidevengers? No, those don't work either…" Spider-Man offers thoughtfully before Jess calls out to him. "Hey, I was working this corner before you got here!" he says in mock protest, even as Rhino is trying to break the bonds of his webbing. "Ugh, did you put on weight in the gulag, Rhino? You're feeling hefty.."
Rhino roars his disapproval, yanking out of the webbing and slams into the lightpole that Spidey is clinging to, forcing Peter to leap from it before he's caught in a broadside and sent flying against a nearby Daily Bugle Newspaper truck. "Ugh.. that'll make Jameson's day." he grunts painfully.
Hydro-Man in the meantime leaps from the sewers, bringing up all that water with him as he tries to soak and absorb the Spider-Woman into his watery frame and drown her within. "Want a drink, sweetheart?!"
"Sorry, sweetheart, but I never take drinks from strange men," Jess counters with a smirk, leaping from the armored car to the top of a light post. "Especially not ones who bathe in sewage!" She'd like to blast him, but there's no way to tell if that would bother a man made out of water…better to try to wear him out and get close before delivering the big shock. "Seriously, you guys just picked the most wrong truck to try to steal today. Do you plan anything, or is this all seat of your pants?"
"Didn't you hear, it was a trap!" Spider-Man says with a snort. "Not a very good trap, but what do you expect from Rhino and Hydra-Man." Pulling himself from the truck, he leaps into the air and thwips a line. "Alright, big guy, lets see if this works.." he grunts as he grips to the side of a building and ponders for a moment. "Besides making Spider-Women a new.. well.. a calendar of them wouldn't be so bad.. what else can you do besides jump around?" he asks.
"HYDRO-MAN, NOT HYDRA-MAN." comes the response as Spider-Woman leaps away from him. "Aww, come on, sweetie, don't you want to go for a swim?!" he asks as he tries to get the water above and then deluge it down onto Jessica. "I'll deal with you in a moment, Spider-Man, it's your fault I'm this way!"
"We can still try to find a way to fix it…" comes Peter's response.
"It's too late! Now I'm going to drown everything you care about!"
"I don't even know her—-" comes the quip, before Peter is leaping away from a car thrown in his direction. "Why can't you people attack one at a time like they do in the movies?!"
"Yeah, HYDRA would send better goons," Jess shoots back at the watery menace with a smirk of her own, sliding down the light pole as the water starts to cascade around her. What else can she do? Well, as she lands in a puddle of Hydro-Man, both hands start to glow a livid yellow-green, a charge building in them before she leans down to touch the water and unleash a venom blast.
"Plus, if you cut off one HYDRA head, two grow in it's place.. I wonder how many heads total they can grow before you know.. toppling over, because too many heads, not enough body." Peter offers before he starts to snap weblines against Rhino's back where he can't reach. Thwip, and stick, thwip and stick.
Jess's tactic puts a charge in Hydro-Man, screaming as he shorts out and falls into his human form, landing on the street in a steaming pile of.. well, don't smell too much, folks. He was in the wastewater line, after all!
"Going up!" Peter offers, sending out more lines and lifts Rhino off the ground, where he can't get any traction and spread-eagles him across the street like a Macy's Balloon. "You didn't you know.. kill him?" he asks, glancing to Jess in concern.
"Not usually a problem," Jess notes to Peter on the topic of HYDRA. "The two heads that replace the first one are usually about half as smart each. By the time you got that many heads, they'd be too dumb to move anyhow." She steps back from the man on the ground, wiping her hands off on the back of her pants with a shake of her head. "Nah, he'll be fine. I mean, he'll be sore, but he'll be fine. Probably. I wasn't entirely sure how to calibrate for the whole being made of water thing. But he's breathing."
"So… you're Spider-Woman. Is White Widow your sister? And then there's Black Widow, but I think she's totally fibbing about being a spider." Peter sits on the top of the Daily Bugle truck, looking at the mess made and sighs. "…This is so going to be my fault in tomorrow's paper."
From above, Rhino shouts, "I'll kill you, Spider-Man!"
Peter points up and webs Rhino's mouth shut. "Going to be sticking around here?"
"I don't know any White Widow, but I've heard of the Black Widow. She's supposed to be good. By which I mean good at the job, not actually a good person," Jess clarifies, walking back to the bike to retrieve a pair of handcuffs for the water-man. "I've been around for a bit now. Not planning on going anywhere. You?"
"There's some other Spider-Women in— Spidey and the Spinerettes!" Spider-Man snaps his fingers. "Great name!" he says with a bob of his head, before his attention returns to Jess. "So.. yeah. Cool costume. Maybe I should start a Spidey-Club. Secret decoder rings and all that. Been here for a while.. but in this moment?"
As the police sirens approach the area, Peter frowns beneath his mask. "Can't hang around. The local authorities aren't exactly my biggest fans. Though I do give to the Policeman's Ball!" there's a two fingered salute at that before Peter thwips a line and pulls away, heading skywards to swing along before the police arrive on scene. Jess can have all that credit!