1965-01-29 - A Tale of Two Kevins
Summary: In which Human Kevin meets Dog Kevin, and others. Also, happy birthday Lambert.
Related: If there are no related logs, put 'None', — please don't leave blank!
Theme Song: None
lambert julie kai kevin lamont yuliya 


Kai stands not too far from a hotdog stand. He crouches to tear off a bit of his hotdog to give to a shivering mutt on a leash he holds the other end of. The dog is in a knitted dog sweater, and to be honest, both dog and sweater are pretty ugly. The brown, wiry pooch has one ear bent, the other cocked, and his tail doesn't wag so much as rotate like a helicopter. "There you go, Kevin," he says as the dog scoffs down the offering. "A little warm food for your belly." Kai is himself rugged up in a wool coat, stocking cap, scarf, and gloves, showing very little of him but big blue eyes and a splash of golden hair.


From a small distance away can be seen a young adult man - wearing a red letter college jacket, in jeans, and good sneakers. He is running, heading from the outside of Central Park into it, perhaps to jog? He really is _pelting_ it though…


Dizzy rather *likes* the pretzel cart that's often to be found here on Central Park Road, as it happens, and thus she rumbles to a stop nearby in a cameo two-tone '56 Nomad. The motor shuts down, and the lights, and she hops out, making her way over that way.


Kevin, the human, has never been to New York City. Not until this morning, at least. He got off the train early, and realized as soon as he set foot on the pavement of the City That Never Sleeps (is that a moniker the city had at this point in history?) that he had /no/ idea what to do from there. It's not like he had much of a plan, just knew that the people he needed to find were here. Somewhere. There's been a fair bit of wandering, and that wandering has led him to the Park which is called Central. Because like Rome, all the roads lead here eventually. With his pack slung over his shoulder, he approaches the same hot dog vendor that Kai had just purchased from, just in time to hear youthful blond refer to the dog by name. He can't help but smirk on hearing it, and after buying a hot dog of his own with a bit what scant funds he has, steps toward the pair. "Your dog has the best name ever, you know," he says in a friendly tone, moving to crouch not far from the animal and his owner.


Yuliya is another one that's out for a jog, or apparently looking like she's out for one. She's wearing tan trousers with a red tracksuit top, and she also has a backpack with her, too. She keeps up a steady pace, and seems to have found her pace. Spotting Dizzy, she does detour from her route and starts to slow down.


Kai looks up at Kevin and grins. One can tell he's grinning because his eyes form crescents and brighten with good cheer. "It's a great name," he agrees. Kevin the dog perks up and regards Kevin the human with a curious tilt of his head, then approaches him. Kai holds the leash but doesn't pull him back. Instead, he says, "Kev's very friendly, just guard your hotdog. He doesn't understand it's not for him." He admits as an afterthought, "He doesn't understand very much at all. Poor thing isn't too bright." Kai's accent is English, so not from around these parts.


Not too bright and really into food? Indeed, here comes a second one. Lambert has a slightly…just slightly…weird way of running. Something about his gait is oddly proportioned. But he can book at at the speed of an olympic athlete, and he really is. The person _following_ him on the other hand, is actually bounding - huge floppy hat and baggy farmers clothes as he dashes after Lambert, who has spotted the hot dog stand and is now running straight to it.


"Eh, we tend not to be," Kevin the Human says with a little laugh as he tears off a small chunk of his own hot dog, offering it to the pup with an outstretched hand. "Go on, little guy," he says in a smooth, gentle tone. "We're not dumb though, right? Just stubborn."


Julie is just making it along to the pretzel cart, just as the …footchase? comes bounding that way. She looks to the pretzel-vendor, quirks an eyebrow, there, and says, "Ah, I guess two salted, and…" She pauses to try and ascertain what the runners are up to, …namely if anyone seems distressed, and tucks a hand in a pocket.


Yuliya slows down into a walk, and with the figures bounding in the direction of the food carts, she comes to a stop and glances in their direction as she slips her pack from one shoulder. She seems to assess them for a moment, and it seems that she's still appraising the situation. She does tense up, most likely getting ready just in case. Spotting the semi-familiar form of Lambert causes her to tilt her head to the side, and it's possible that she's still trying to figure out what's going on.


Kai watches Kevin the Dog as he sniffs Kevin the Human's hand. There's a tentative lick, then more licks, and then that helicopter tail starts twirling. Kevin the Dog hops forward in a play bow, then wuffs and licks Kevin the Human's fingers again. "He's very affectionate," Kai says. "As far as redeeming qualities go, it's the best you can do, I think." He eyes the dog, then admits, "It may be stubbornness. He doesn't do anything I tell him." He glances up to see the running, and he immediately looks around for a cause. People don't just go jogging in this weather. Well, some do, but they're crazy people.


The one in front, a somewhat pudgy guy that somehow managed to top his school athletics team…? He looks distressed. Not horrified. Just. Running _away_ from the much more solid, and rather more muscled man in baggy clothing with his huge brimmed floppy farmer's hat. The man behind has no visible features, shadows obscuring everything, though there is a distorted shape around the head under that hat. Lambert books it tightly across the gap in between, makes it to Kai, and then grabs the elf. Whatever the others do about this, he certainly seems to have something in mind. Kai is shaken as an inhuman shield in the direction of the more muscular man coming in quick behind, who bellows "BIRTHDAY PUNCHES FOR LAMBIEKINS!"


"Sounds about right. That was always my mom's complaint, too," Kevin says, giving the dog a couple of friendly pats before standing. He takes a couple bites of his hot dog. First thing he's eaten all day, by the way those two bites practically finish the thing. He's about to say something when Kai is apparently assaulted by the running man, and practically leaps after Lambert apparently without a lot of regard for his personal safety. "Hey! Leave him the hell alone!" All righteous and heroic and stuff, or at least trying to be.


Julie seems puzzled at what might actually be going down with all the running people, but just pauses there. Yuliya gets a little wave with her free hand.


Yeah, nah. Yuliya isn't going to get involved at all or risk blowing her cover. She'll watch and spectate, and she takes a few steps back. She offers Julie an uncertain look in return as she watches the men, and then she shakes her head. Her free hand slips into the pack and stays there for the time being. "What is going on?" she utters in confusion.


Kai drops Kevin's leash as he's shaken, and the dog backs away, preferring to bark from afar than dive in to save his master. He's a small dog, what's he gonna do? Bark bark bark! "L-ambl-bebert!" Kai says, "H-how's it go-going?" Someone's encroaching though, talking about birthday punches. "Aaaah!" Kai, for all that he's being shaken, isn't trying too hard to get free. He's mostly just confused, man. "It's al-alright, Kev-kevin I know h-him." Aggleaggle.


Oh, that's good. Kevin the Human slows and stops, rather than leap to tackle the would-be abductor. His attention goes to the dog, abandoned by his owner. "C'mere, Kevin," he calls to the dog, holding out the last of his hot-dog to entice the poor thing to his side so he can at least grab the leash. "New York is a weird place, huh?"


"He's been to hell, he's tough, he'll be fine!" Lambert says to Kevin, still trying to hold Kai up and shake him at the muscled, man who towers over him by at least a foot and a half. In the shadows of the large, shapeless headwear, his eyes are golden, with horizontal black pupils. He snorts, and pulls down, and then looks around at the possible…humans? In the area. He focuses instantly on the women - Julie and Yuliya. The shabby thing in all those clothes pulls himself up and puts a hand across his breast "Render your lover to me," he declares to them "It is his time to become a man, and go through the trials!" Lambert waves Kai at him "Shut up, Dmitri! You're being a total shlob!"


Julie hrms, glancing to Yuliya. Her eyes narrow, then widen. Whatever that guy is saying, it seems to alarm her. She says, "You gotta try these pretzels, they're great." Pauses, and adds, more quietly, "I dunno what the freak that guy's shooting off about, but stick close a minute."


Yuliya is still considering the situation, and she rummages through her pack, looking for something. The big muscle guy that looks in her direction? Well, that has her slink back a bit. Nope! She's certainly not getting involved. "Cyka blyat," she murmurs in Russian. She glances side long to Julie, and then shakes her head. "I was going to try one… But every time I go to try new food, fights happen," she sighs as she pulls a metal tube from her backpack in a practiced move. She pulls the pin with her thumb and drops the device, which starts to spew forth a thick red smoke. Then she legs it, no doubt using her training to get well away from the situation and to vanish.


"I'm not his—!" Kai tries to swipe a kick at Dmitri. "Leave Lambiekins alone! He's a sensitive soul!" He tries to pry himself free of the man shaking him. Meanwhile, Kevin the Dog goes over to Kevin the Human to huddle by him. And to bark. Then he lifts his head and howls, a garbled and hoarse rasp of sound. All is lost. Master has been taken away forever, and all is woe. Kai sees the red smoke, though in the moment there's not much he can do but note it.


Yuliya's smoke bomb goes off, and red smoke fills the entire area. Kai finds himself dropped, as Lambert starts coughing - and apparently Dmitri follows suit. Lambert snaps "I am not called Lambiekins!" And then edges behind both Kai and Kevin, as much as he can. The big thug in front rubs his head, then beams. His mouth underneath shows full of fangs "Lambiekins," growls Dmitri "Commmmeee here - we're just going to do birthday punches and it's all over!"


Kevin the Human coughs a bit in the smoke, confused by its sudden appearance. "You know these people, Kev?" He says quietly to the dog, watching the situation unfold. "Because that one," he points to Dmitri, apparently, "Doesn't seem like he's a very friendly sort." There's a grimace. "Don't run off, okay?" He gives the rest of his hot dog, and moves up beside Kai, looking up at Dmitri and the teeth. "Aren't you missing from a fairy tale, or something? Shouldn't you be at Grandma's house, or something?" Because of the teeth, you see. Ha ha, joke joke.


Julie has, meanwhile, taken the opportunity afforded Yuliya's smoke to a) Claim, pay for, and pocket two nice hot pretzels, and b) duck behind the bumper of a nearby parked car, to sneak around to the other side, and peek up over the hood.


Kai coughs and winds the scarf that's fallen loose back around his nose and mouth. "We always call him Lambikins," he says as he gets his feet beneath him, a little loopy from being manhandled. He coughs again, then says, "Just take the punches, Lambert. Here, I'll take them." To Dmitri, he says, "Punch me. Let's show him how it's done. It's all right, Human Kevin, I can take this guy." Kai isn't very big, it might be noted. Meanwhile, Kevin the Dog crackles another howl. He cleaves to Kevin the Human's side, already scoping out his next human in case this one doesn't make it. Loyal to a fault. He's chosen wisely. Already this guy is paying out in hot dogs! The little dog stays put, making his way through the hot dog with a quickness. Never mind his round belly, they never ever feed him.


"Why, is your grandma hot?" asks the big guy, who grins at Kevin, being sure to show all of his teeth. Allll of them. "Dmitri, you're gonna get us _arrested_," says Lambert, who hisses at him "You need to stick to Mutant Town -" He is clearly nervous, the smaller man, of the bigger, but at the same time, there is a sense of exasperation there rather than rage "If they sit your ass in jail, you're gonna get killed for being a mutant-" And whoa, there, Kai. Who is stepping up to it "No, _no_," Lambert handsies "Don't let him punch you -"

Yeah, yeah. Unless Kai ducks, or something else happens, Dmitri and his strong Greek accent hruff to Lambert "At least this guy ain't a coward!" And _whump_ - he punches Kai right in the snoot.


"I meant, you know, Red Riding Hood? No-one ever gets my references," Human Kevin mutters just as Kai gets decked. He's too late to stop it, but maybe not too late to stop another one. Big horned fellows with amazing teeth don't just punch people and get away with it back in Nebraska, and Kevin's not going to stand for it here either. Of course, this isn't a situation he's ever had to face back home, but it's not like he'd sit idly by anyway. "Me next, buddy," he says, reaching back into his pack to wrap his fingers around something inside. The dumb kid pulls out a big hammer, and steps forward defiantly. Too late to regret it now, right?


Julie hrms, about the punching, …even when Kai gets punched pretty hard, she's not sure just how much of this is horsing around, but, well, the teeth don't happen to look so friendly. She finally pulls out of that pocket, …a loop of slender cables. With some shiny weights welded to the end. This, she starts looping in a lazy circle, increasing the speed as she rises, …she's ready to fling it toward the punching man if he attacks. "Yo! Heads up!"


Kai's head snaps back, and though the little guy should go down like a ton of bricks, he actually keeps his feet. He blinks a few times, stares at Dmitri, then holds a fingertip to his nose and glances at the blood on his glove. He sniffs. "I'm bleeding," he says, mystified. He sniffs again, shakes the blood off his glove. He's about to say something else, but then Kevin the Human takes out a hammer, and he's says, "Woah, let's not get unfriendly, now. This guy packs a punch, man." Then there's a call for head's up, and he ducks. No, heads down!


Come to think of it, Lambert has pointy teeth as well, though he is considerably smaller in multiple ways from Dmitri. And just looks a hell of a lot more human. Lambert waves his hands "Don't let him get his -" And then, the punching "- Robin Hood? Wait, Red Riding Hood? No, this is more of a Three Billy Goats Gruff situation." He clears his throat, and then as the hammer comes out, Lambert's eyes widen "No - no, I mean - oh dude -"

Dmitri, though, is pointing at Kai, and he laughs "Ha ha ha!" he says, in an uproarious tone "You are not a human! Look at you! Not even a little broken!" "DMITRI!" Lambert says, finally jumping forward to grab at his arm "Can you _not_, okay, let's. Just, not!" He glances sideways at Julie, and at that group of cables, Lambert says hurriedly "No, I don't want to be punched for my birthday, yes, you are right, I am very unmanly, no, I don't have all the girls, yes, you are right I am a totally boring weenie -" Dmitri just bellows "Who else wants some! This is glorious!" He pulls of his cap to show the huge ram's horns curling on his head, and his golden goat-eyes "I love New York!" Lambert chokes "I hope you like Penitentiary."


"I don't know man, I just saw teeth, give me a break," Kevin says, hand gripping around that hammer tightly. "This guy your cousin or something? You know, people back home said New York was full of the strangest people, but I didn't think this what what they meant." Despite Lambert's protests, Kevin steps forward. If anyone has any senses for such things, the mystical power coming off of Kevin, and more importantly that hammer, would be fairly difficult to ignore. "You want to hit anyone, you hit me, pal. Or you could just put that hat back on and head on back under whatever bridge you came out from? Did I get that right, at least?"


Julie hrms, slowing the homebuilt bolas to a stop as the situation seems to defuse, …or at least Kevin seems to have a big freaking hammer handy. Which had better be enough. "Everybody cooled it, yet?"


"No, I'm not," Kai tells Dmitri. He blinks a few times when he sees the hammer. "Is that? No, it can't be. You'r enot Thor." He sniffs one last time, and that's it for the bleeding nose. "I am Kai of Alfheim," he tells Dmitri. "Well met, more or less." He eyes that hammer askance, but far be it from him to interrupt another man's fight. Instead, he heads toward Kevin the Dog, who barks at him. "I didn't know it was your birthday— oh, stop barking, it's me. You know me." Finally, the pooch hunkers and whines and wags as he slinks back to Kai. Kai sighs and picks him up. "It's not your fault," he murmurs. "You're a good dog." Toward Julie, he gives a thumb's up. He's good, at least.


"You _have teeth_," Lambert says to Kevin, a bit desperately "I have teeth - she has teeth - we all have teeth. They are for eating! I mean, not the…teeth. But. Eating teeth would be…quite disgusting. Except. Er." And then he pauses, honestly surprised, half-way through grabbing Dmitri's arm "Yes. We are cousins. How did you - ohhh, yes, I get it. Same horn shape." He runs his fingers through his fluffy white bangs, showing two absolutely tiny little pale horns that have popped out of his own scalp "Yeah. They're pretty big." And he side-eyes at Julie with a caprine wink "Not the only thing either," Lambert brags, as Dmitri finally manages to wind up and get a _sock_ to the side of his head.

Lambert does not fly anywhere. His head snaps back, then he shakes it a little dizzily and groans "Augghhhh…" and holds his skull. No visible damage, whatsoever, though, as Dmitri stares at Kevin "…it _is_ Thor," he says to Lambert "See - there is an Elf, and Thor - they are Asgardians. Yes, Asgardians. It is young Lambert's birthday today, and since he has not been home for the customary Games, I thought I would bring some to him." He makes a fist, grinning, with that mouthful of razor sharp teeth, as Lambert says "We're gonna get _arrested_, this ain't _Athens_! You can't walk around bein' weird - wa…what's that." He points at the bolas. And then his finger wavers to the hammer.


"There's teeth, and then there's -teeth-, man. And I'm not an Asgardian. I'm definitely not Thor. I've never even met Thor. Why? Do you know him?" Thor could be very helpful, as a matter of fact. You see, Kevin isn't really all that up on this whole hammer deal. Kind of why he's here. Looking for an expert. Or at least someone who can point him in the right direction. The fingers pointing at the hammer causes Kevin to lift it up a bit. "This? This is a hammer. It was a.. Christmas present?" Something like that. "You hit anyone else, you're gonna see it up close." He may be trying to sound threatening, but is probably not succeeding.


Julie just tilts her head between everyone else there. Just crosses an arm and props her chin there, via her elbow. Ah, people from planet Asgard, that makes more sense, or at least perhaps explains it *not* doing so quite yet. She doesn't elaborate on what bolas are, save to tsk and toss them back into a little coil. Kai and Kevin get a second look, though.


"I know Thor," Kai pipes up. Then squinches his nose as the dog licks his face. "Augh, Kev." Still, he gives the pooch a cuddle. Kevin the Dog may be homely, might not be all that smart (alternately, a genius), but he's sweet and that counts for something. To Dmitri, he says, "Have we given out the birthday punches? No more sparring? I can't go to prison. I'm too pretty." Elves. They kind of are. "In any case, happy birthday, Lambert. When mine comes around, I prefer booze to punches."


"Well, we're. Omnivores," Lambert says to Kevin "You need sharp teeth to deal with souvla-" "Harpies," offers Dmitri happily, though he is still being held on to, and finally he pats Lambert on the back, and he says to Kevin in his booming, Greek voice "I have not met your Thor! We have all heard of h…some of us have heard of him. A little. Actually. Most of us know the Warrior of Themyscira…better. Or that one with the voice." He pulls a 'scary' face - quite effectively given his fangs, and Lambert says to him in a low voice "Morbius. You're thinking of Morbius. And then there's Elektra…" Greek Superheros - and Villains - listed, Dmitri finally says "Yes, we are all done, I think. I do not want to be hit by the Wielder of the Hammer. No more sparring." He pauses, then he says to Kai "I will remember. I will take littelest cousin here back to his silly restaurant for the rest of his birthday."


Well that's a bit of luck isn't it. Kevin eyes Dmitri for a moment longer, and lowers the hammer again. This is a lot more mythology than he had been expecting. Some, sure. But not all of it. "No more punching," he admonishes Dmitri with a bit of a grimace before turning to Lambert. "Happy birthday?" And then to Kai. "And I'm gonna need you to introduce me to Thor. Got some questions I need answered."


Julie hrms, and smirks, tucking the things away, giving Kai a little salute. "Well, welcome to New York, I guess," she says, her accent clearly local. "And, ah, happy birthday." With that, she tucks her odd wires in her pocket. And, one of those pretzels, which she tears a bit off of, before getting in the custom Chevy and driving off into the night somewhere.


Kai waves a hand to Julie, which leaves him unguarded from another lick to the face. He grimaces, but sighs. His dog, ladies and gents, quite the charmer. "Of course," he tells Kevin. "You can also check with the Asgardian Embassy in the Upper East Side. You can often find him there I'm sure he'd like to meet you and your…" He gestures to the hammer, still not sure what to make of it. "Anyway, I can be found here and around." He beams at Dmitri and Lambert. "Have a good birthday, Lambikins."


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