Kai has shown up, stray cat that he is, and he's serving in the courtyard tonight, and inside when the courtyard is empty, all neat as can be in his waiter's uniform. It's just how Kais do. One minute he's fighting dragons in Times Square, the next he's asking a retired couple what wine they'd like with their lamb kebob. He comes into the kitchen to tell the chefs that table four decided on the soup of the day.
In the kitchen, the roles are reversed. Sam and Lambert. Sam is doing the final touches on various things, and Lambert is busy doing the rougher pieces of work. The satyr-kin looks up as Kai comes in, and he turns around to dollop soup into four bowls "Good to see you, Kai," he says to him "Or not, right now. Come. I need to go and sit down. I can't work for too long right now."
Kai moves light and lithe amidst the controlled chaos of the kitchen. He takes some collected dishes to the dishwasher, then turns and collects the tray of soup, adding bread and some whipped butter. "Don't forget to eat," he tells Lambert. Then he swans out into the dining room again. The soup is delivered with ease and a little friendly banter. For the moment, the dining room is under control, so he leaves it to Marcy and slips out to the courtyard. He's brought two glasses and a bottle of wine. "Here, you look like you could use some of this."
What a lovely waiter! They do admire his speech and bright words. Lambert moves out to the courtyard, stripping off his apron and then hanging it up on a peg as he goes. He claps Kai on the back, and then he says to him "Certainly. That's true. I need to relax." And he slides into a seat, and reaches out for one of the glasses "I need to find someone to operate on my eyes. They've been tested now. I have cataracts, and they're quite thick. I'm not really sure how to work this all out. My people don't tend to ever really, you know. Get ill? I've mostly seen herbalists and doctors when someone's going to give birth. That's not somethign that you always want to do alone, you know?" He nods.
"Cataracts," Kai says. He pours them both a generous portion of wine and sits down. "Isn't that where your eyes cloud over? Doesn't that happen to the old?" He's a helper, Kai is. "Midgardian technology has come a long way though," he says, "and in such a short time. I'm sure they can do something for you."
"Yes, that's why the pupils are reflecting cloudy," says Lambert, who then laughs, and he says "Yes. It's what happens when you're old. Or when, you know. You get eye injuries, or got them in your childhood. Apparently all the headbutting - I did it without horns, so…" He waves a hand, and then he says to Kai "Once they're fixed, I should be great at seeing at night." And then he sips his wine, and he says "When I get the surgery, I'm going to be out of commission for a couple of weeks. I'll need help."
Kai nods solemnly. "I'll help you as much as I can," he says, laying a hand on Lambert's arm. "But you know that I'll probably make fun of you a lot, too." There's almost remorse in his tone. "I'll make sure you mend well. Maybe wait til your horns come in more before you go headbutting people again. Or maybe someone can make you horns."
"They are coming in, they're an inch long, Kai, look at them!" says Lambert, a bit desperately "See? See!" He points to them with a finger. One whole inch. And then he finishes off his wine and reaches out for the bottle, and he grins at Kai "You know I won't be able to see properly. But I can still hear really well. Just be warned about that. Or maybe I should be sane and get Loki to help out instead of you."
Kai laughs brightly. "I'll be sure to stay around to watch my beloved's bedside manner." He takes a hearty swallow of his wine, then tops off both glasses. "They are lovely horns, indeed. Very nice. Have you seen Loki's helmet? It's got horns on it." Big, long horns. Such horns! "But it's not the same has having them attached, I'm sure."
"What? Oh! Yes, I did - when he went to rescue you," says Lambert, with some interest - both aggressive and lustful "Very nice horns. I really liked them. I kinda wondered how he would look if one was snapped." In a fair fight, of course! And then he says "I know he won't come and take care of me! It's okay, it was just a funny idea." And he grins a little, and then he says "Remember, mine aren't antlers - I don't lose them. They are bone. The base of them opens into my skull, actually. Can I ask you why Loki has them on his helmet?"
Kai arches a brow and looks at Lambert. "He would still manage to look nothing short of glorious," Kai says. "Horns come up quite a bit in Asgardian culture. There are a lot of theories. It could be something as simple as 'horns look neat' or it could be symbolic of pagan divinity such as the Horned God. Which is where the Christians get their idea of a horned Satan from." He shrugs a shoulder. "It's probably got some deep meaning. Loki's horns are unique, though. They're longer."
"I know, I just…it's a satyr thing, never mind," says Lambert, a little wistfully "Oh! Ahaha. Does that mean I count as a divine pagan entity?" Lambert puts his fingers on his breast, and he adds "My grandfather is a kind of horned god, well, I mean, he's half God. So that makes me a symbol! As well as looking neat." He then says "Oh, they are so nice and long. I bet he'd make an amazing satyr. Don't you think?"
"If he got any more passionate, I might not survive," Kai says with a soft sigh. Smitten. Worshipful. And here he claims his people never regarded the Asgardians as gods. "But I think in lots of cultures horns represent fertility. Think about it, without game or livestock, you starve. Hard to be fruitful when you've got empty bellies. I imagine primitive humans saw entities with horns or wearing horns and made the connection. Especially when the entitites involved brought food and healing."
"And wine. And prophesy," says Lambert thoughtfully, and he then says to Kai "Well, I'm glad that you're having fun with him. I have a couple of lovers who are…who are, I suppose, truly lovers. Not people I sleep with and care for, but people I love. Their passions and mine often meet up, but not always - and you know the odd thing? I don't care. I'm just happy to have them." He smiles, and he finishes his second glass of wine "And they're with each other too. I suppose that makes three of us…like a tiny herd."
Kai pours another glass for Lambert. "I think that's lovely," he says. "You're a good man. You deserve to have people who are your people. I went a long time without, and it was a lonely existence. Even befriending humans, as much as I love my friends, they leave you in the end. They can't help it. It's not their fault. So you love them well, and you keep their memory. But now I've got people. He's an Asgardian, which I swore against, but he's mine. We're doing well for ourselves, you and I."
"It kind of helps that they're more mortal, for me, like I am more mortal," Lambert says to Kai "My family always gets a little weird around it, because I suppose it's like having a person in your family who you know isn't going to live as long?" He runs his finger around the edge of the goblet, and he tilts his head and then he says to Kai "I'll leave you too. I hope that you will remember me. I think I am doing well. I'm honestly not sure I want to have kids, you know, Kai. I think that might be problematic."
"Of course I'll remember you," Kai says. He claps Lambert on the shoulder. "You're the only satyrkin I've ever met. I watched your father turn someone into a maenad. You traversed at least two hells to save me from death. Your memory will survive as long as I do. As long as Loki, for that matter." He takes another drink. "Ugh, children. My gran wants me to have one so badly it's killing her. Only figuratively, alas."
Lambert laughs at that, and then he says to Kai "The thing is, if I have a child with a human, he or she will be a bit like me - not quite human, but not a satyr - well, less than. I wouldn't mind a child with a Maenad, but I don't want to die. I mean, I don't right now. The thing is that when I'm near one, I don't care so much." He grins "It's the scent, she's - they are amazing, you see?" He muses "But I don't know if you do - you only like boys, right? I guess that would disappoint your grandmother."
Kai shakes his head and says, "I don't see, but I take your word for it. I've tried to fancy women. It's not like I couldn't go through with it in a pinch, but they don't set me ablaze like my lord, who can undo me just the mere thought of him." He sighs softly, his gaze going distant for a moment. "I just don't want to bring some poor child into the universe to be her pawn. That's why I want to get my mother and father out of prison. So that they can do it. If they give me a little brother or sister, maybe the old hag will leave me alone."
"Her pawn?" asks Lambert curiously "Is she really that awful? No, that doesn't sound right. You know. You could have one with a Maenad. She'd be pretty and delightful, and she'd have horns and your constitution. And my grandfather doesn't let anyone mishandle his grandchildren. He's all, you know. He's all aggressive about that." And then he says "Man, that kid would be lovely! Heh heh. I could be an awesome uncle, I promise." Then he waggles his fingers "I'll help with your parents, you know that, right? Everyone thinks I only care about people if I can have sex with them, but it's not true."
Kai gives Lambert a put-upon look. "She is awful. She took me away from Midgard after my parents were imprisoned and took me to her manor. She's got a noble title, and she owns a prestigious winery. She makes Firefly wine, and while it is the finest in the Nine Realms, she has no sense of fun. She made me wear finery and learn diplomacy. All I wanted was to go back home to how it used to be." He pours more wine into each of their glasses. "If she got her clutches on my child, she would force them to grow up to be a responsible member of Elvish society." He shudders.
"That sounds more like a personality clash," says Lambert. Neither he nor Kai are going to succumb to a few glasses of wine "She did care for you, at least? Can I try the Firefly wine sometime? And knowing how to do that diplomacy stuff - that sounds useful. But boring. And _this_ is why you need to have a half-satyr child, Kai. You just _know_ that responsibility isn't something we can do. We have a very limited…appetite for it. And I spend all of _mine_ here running this restaurant." He curls his lip "Not that I'm any good at it right now. I can't see for anything. Still, consider it - or you know. Use magic. And have one with Loki? He's a Godling, right, he could like. Give birth from his thigh."
"Oi," Kai says sharply. "Stop trying to get me killed." He smiles though, his features softening. "A part-maenad elf child would be the best hybrid ever." He sighs. "It's not that I don't want the family name to fade into obscurity, but I just don't want to run a winery. I'd rather drink the wine." He eyes Lambert. "I'm sure my love could give birth out of whatever he wants, but we're not ready. We've had this discussion. We'd be terrible mothers."
"So don't run it - she might be a dragon of an old woman, but she can't really control you," says Lambert, and then he beams "So just seduce a Maenad and let her do all the hard work! Oh, it would be soooo cute. And imagine how little crap she would take from _anyone_. Never mind. I'll let it up. I already have a child. The restaurant." He gestures idly and then he muses "But I'd love to be an uncle to a child of yours."
"There's the problem," Kai says, "where, even though I can go through with it, I would be cheating on my man and the maenad would kill me." Lambert gets a dire look, short-lived. "You can be an uncle to Kevin. He's the closet I'm going to get to having a child in the near-to-distant future. Loyal, loving, and you can raise him in table scraps."
"Sometimes we escape! I mean, usually not - the pheremones," explains Lambert "But chances are, they wouldn't affect y…oh, god, that little dog? No. No dogs near my kitchen, Kai. Wait. Are you _sure_ he's a dog? I mean. No offence. But maybe he's an oppossum. He sort of looks like one." Now, Lambert has to be poking fun.
Kai's eyes widen. "Sir, you dishonor my faithful hound." He doesn't deny the possibility of opossumhood, though. Then his name is called from the kitchen. Another throng of diners have arrived and Marcy is drowning in them. Kai gets to his feet and says, "Duty calls, boss."